Love is in the air at the Murphy house. Erin and Shannon are having a lovely time sharing the car. Erin's argument is "Shannon can't do anything for herself. Everyone stands up and gives her a standing ovation every time she works on homework and she always gets the car." Shannon's argument, is "Erin is so mean, she always bully's me and says I get everything I want." It all started on Tuesday. Erin stayed the night with a friend and didn't tell Shannon she had to wake up on her own and drive to school. The fact that she wasn't in the bed that she shares with her wasn't a big enough clue. Apparently when she got to school it was ugly. Shannon was unable to park in her parking spot because it was ring day and Erin didn't tell her. A friend of mine who is a teacher called to tell me what entertainment my girls provided. Shannon stood in the middle of the street and stared Erin down and refused to budge when Erin's friend came by to pick her up because she had to park so far away.

Thursday night Erin had to work at 6 and Shannon had to work at 7. We had a little problem deciding who got the car. Lauren called me in the morning to tell me how she didn't like my children because they weren't silent in the morning while they got ready for school. Oh this is going to be a long summer when Lauren comes home.

Last night Shannon came in my room and asked if she could go bowling with her friends. I told her no because she didn't have any money. Dave said "If you quit fighting with your sister you can take all the money I have." Shannon jumped up grabbed the cash and we didn't hear from her the rest of the night.

Today is the display of the rain forest in Maggie's classroom. I called Dave to see if he wanted to meet me there at 2:30. I told him they were taking donations to save the Lair. Whatever the Lair is. He said No, I had to pay our kids to get along so I am out of money. I don't think we will find that paying your children to not kill each other will be in any parenting books.

No time to write. Prom was great, weekend was crazy. Squeezed in a few hours to clean on Sunday, and Erin said "I am not scrubbing a toilet, "Are you kidding me? That is disgusting." Of course not Erin, I just devoted my whole Friday, most of Saturday and a large part of Sunday to your every need. How dare I ask you to clean a bathroom. That is no way to treat a princess!!

Erin has prom tonight. The problem is, she has to play a soccer game at 3:30 and that gives us around 30 minutes to turn her in to Cinderella before the prom.. We did a quick trial run last night, she wants a bun but I didn't like it. I had arranged to go to a friends house to get Erin and her friends ready because she lived close to the field. Their dates told them they were meeting in South County for pictures. She received a text later that now they are meeting in North County for pictures. WHAT!!!

Grandma informed me that Kelsey is upset because no one ever goes to her out of town tournaments, only Ryan's. (Ryan has had 3 out of town tournaments, I have missed every one) I don't really have time for her pity party this week. Come see me next weekend!!

I emailed my friend to let her know that we are no longer meeting at the house by the soccer field and that I won't need her help and I gave her the solution to all of my problems. See the email below;


As of now, you are off the hook. Erin got a text last night that they are now meeting for pictures in North County by my old house. The prom is at Norwood Hills Country Club in North County. We are heading to one of her friends houses in Florissant after the game to get ready. I put her eyelashes on this morning. I hope they don't fall off during her game.

I had the night from hell. I bought fake hair at Sally but it looks too fake. She wants a low bun but I think it looks like crap. I would gladly trade my six girls in for six boys right now. Dave was out of town last night, Kelsey had a woe is me night, (nobody comes to my out of town tournaments), Erin broke her new phone, Shannon got a job last night (no one had time to care) Ryan needed a protractor for his test today and Maggie needed a gift for her 5:30 birthday party that she has tonight. (that I won't be home to take her too, thanks to Erin.)



Solution:


Kelsey shut up and get over yourself. We all love you, I am driving up to Muscatine at 3:00 in the morning on May 1st after I get Erin ready for her other prom. I don't have time to coddle your ego, we love you snap out of it. There is no time for drama!!

Shannon I need your first pay check to pay for the car insurance since you are so lazy I won't get the good student driving discount!!

Ryan, here is another protractor to replace the first one that you lost. God help you if you don't do well on your math test when I run to Walgreens at 9:45.

Maggie, just keep being Maggie. Someone will get you to your party tonight, I'm not sure who. I will figure it out later. (God, please help me remember to pick her up in the morning)


Erin, You are not wearing your hair in a bun, it looks like crap. Please don't wipe your eyes on the soccer field. Your fake eyelashes may fall off. Trust your mother, you will look pretty when you leave for prom. Make sure your stick on bra stays in place and behave yourself tonight. No drinking, no drugs, no sex.

Colleen, go home, drink, take drugs and forget about sex!!!

Dave, do nothing as usual!!

We had a busy weekend. Kelsey made her confirmation on Saturday and Dave, Sam, Lauren, Kelsey and I ran the Go STL half marathon. We had great weather for both days. We drove to Lauren's apartment and took her car to confirmation. I had yet to see Lauren's apartment. I was impressed when the only picture she had hanging up was a picture of me and her. I thought, "Oh she really does love me." Then I realized the picture was on her refrigerator. Maybe she hung it there to remind herself not to eat, so she won't look like her mother. The only thing she had in the fridge was a six pack and a jar of applesauce.

I was exhausted the night before the race, we had a long day with confirmation and race packet pick up and the health expo. I fell into bed at 9:30 and was sleeping like a baby. At 10:15 Kelsey came in my room and informed me that she couldn't find her bib. (racing number that is required to run) We looked everywhere and went through all the couch cushion. On the bright side, I found a few socks and a few bucks in change. Lauren's boyfriend Mike had to drive to Fontbonne at 11:00 to check and see if she left it in the back of Lauren's car. Sure enough, he found it and drove it back to put in our mailbox. I knew Kelsy felt bad and I decided to give her the silent treatment instead of flooding her with all the positive(not) thoughts that I had in my head about her constant irresponsibility. I figured if her father has had a lifetime to get his ducks in a row and still hasn't, berating her would not do any good.

Kelsey and Sam finished in 1:53, Lauren 2:08, Dave 2:18 and I rolled in on my hands and knees at 2:35. It really was a good feeling to cross the finish line. My calves are killing me and I'm about ready to lose a toenail but I would do it again in a heartbeat. It's OK that the man with one leg, the blind man and the man juggling for 13.1 miles all beat me. I'm OK with that REALLY!!!

Erin has been asked to prom by a CBC boy. My niece mailed her a dress that she wore last year. Heaven forbid she wear the same dress to this prom that she is wearing to hers. The dress is absolutely beautiful. The problem is that Erin can't breath after I zip it. She wants to try and lose two lbs by Friday. I sure wish all I had to lose for my clothes to fit was 2 lbs. Isn't that just a healthy bowel movement?? Erin has a soccer game on Friday and has about 45 minutes to get ready for prom after her game. She may look pretty when we are done but she may not smell so great. There is no time to wash and blow dry her hair so we will have to adjust.

I took Monday off to recover from the race and have a me day. Unfortunately my kids started coming out of the woodwork and I had three kids home. Erin went through her closet to sell her clothes to a resale shop. She is trying to scrounge up enough money for nail tips and a pedicure for prom. I said, Erin I'm surprised you haven't sold your plasma." She responded with, "Oh I can do that? How much money will they give me?" I'm afraid she may sell her kidney in college.

Ryan had his first baseball game of the season on Tuesday. He did really well, he got two hits, a walk and a strike out. I didn't see him before the game and felt really bad when I walked up to the field and saw my son in nickers. His baseball pants were so short they were practically Bermuda shorts. Come to think of it, I bought those pants three years ago. Some day I will get this parenting thing down!!

This has been a pretty crazy week. Monday we had the prom fiasco, the store where Erin bought her dress sold the same dress to a Junior at her school. To make an unbelievably long story short, the store owner was mean to Erin and Lauren and made Erin cry in the store because he was so rude. In the end she got her money back for the ridiculously expensive prom dress. I called home later in the day to check on her and Lauren said, "She is sitting in her underwear crying eating a whole bag of Doritos, she may need a larger size dress, whatever she finds." I took off work early and we went on a prom dress mission. We found one she liked, it is really cute on her but she feels it doesn't have the "Wow" factor. She ended up getting a size 0 so I guess the Doritos were harmless.

My youngest three are on spring break this week. I asked Kelsey to unload and reload the dishwasher for me. When I got home it was clear that she misunderstood my instructions. I think she thought I said, "Kelsey, please play a game of "Jenga" with every dish that we own." Poor kid, I really should have made myself a little more clear.

We are running the half marathon on Sunday. I ran 10 miles three weeks ago and ever since then I have considered getting around town in a wheel chair. I am falling apart. My calf muscles are so sore, I can barely walk. I only ran once this week trying to rest my muscles but I feel horrible. Kelsey makes her confirmation on Saturday, I think I should spend the morning praying that the other 16000 participants get a bad stomach bug instead of praying that I do well. God knows that is a hopeless prayer. I just hope I finish.