tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78173204195917468252024-02-07T02:11:45.314-06:00crazysoccermomBig families are never easy, but always fun. A sense of humor is a requirement while raising seven kids especially if 6 of them are girls.Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.comBlogger433125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-89325119763063004722019-05-02T09:55:00.000-05:002019-05-02T09:55:21.266-05:00In the first few months after Lauren's accident, I did a lot of writing to fill the time. Someday I would like to write a book about our journey. I am so thankful I have these early writings to help me remember how far we have come! I came across this sample last night and felt compelled to share it with all of you. maybe it will help someone who feels hopeless...keep the faith!<br />
<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="false"
DefSemiHidden="false" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="376">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hashtag"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Unresolved Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Link"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:swiss;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536859905 -1073732485 9 0 511 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
June 17<sup>th</sup> 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day of Lauren’s shunt surgery finally arrived. I was
looking forward to getting it over with. The thought of your child having brain
surgery is extremely scary, the thought of your child having her 4<sup>th</sup>
brain surgery is even worse. The hard part is knowing that she had no clue what
was even going on. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t even know if
she knew who I was? In my heart I believed that she did, but she was incapable
of showing any type of facial expressions or emotion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Dave couldn’t get more time off
from work, I was on my own. We transported to Northwestern from RIC by wheel
chair and went to pre op. After they covered her forehead with white sticker
type things, Lauren and I sat in big, crowded waiting room in preparation for
her surgery. We were quite the sight, I dressed her in her “Don’t worry, I got
this “ T shirt. Sometimes I look back at my stupidity and even annoy myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
With each person we encountered
they went through the standard pre op questions and procedures. Each set of
questions was the same, (these people should really share notes) it was sad for
me as I didn’t have anything positive to say during all these medical questions
other than she was still alive. Not a lot of positive brain function going on at
this time. I’m not sure why, but just having to answer the questions honestly
was like I was admitting defeat and I wanted absolutely no part of that. The
last nurse we encountered was so nice. He was most likely in his mid-fifties
and super flamboyant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he was done
with all the pre op questions, he looked at me and said, “She is really lucky
to have such a good mom.” “Can I give you a hug?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed that hug and I will never forget
him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few minutes later, her brain surgeon came in
to talk to me, he made me feel at ease. He was compassionate just like
Dr. Chu from Cedars. It isn’t easy to find a compassionate brain surgeon, but I
was lucky enough to find 2 of them. They were getting ready to wheel Lauren
back and said the standard, “say your goodbyes to mom.” I leaned in to kiss her
one last time, told her how much I loved her and that I would see her soon. As I was trying to stop my lip from trembling in front of all these people, t<span style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">he
tears started flowing. The sad part was that I was aware that my tears were more for
the fact that she had no clue what was going on. She was going in for brain
surgery and showed no emotion as I said my goodbye; she wasn’t even confused;
she was not cognitively aware enough to be confused. She was just blank.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I found my seat in the big waiting
room and sat in the corner, as far away from people as possible. The room was
full of loved ones waiting on their family members having surgery. Some groups
of people had 10-20 people waiting. I laughed to myself thinking up scenarios
in my head. This group to my right is having a family reunion as someone gets a
new rotator cuff or hey this family is waiting for knee surgery to be complete.
Meanwhile I sat in the corner with my ear buds hoping that no one noticed me<span style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"> listening to church songs
quietly sobbing . The last 25 years had flashed
before my eyes as I was waiting. I sat and chastised myself for every mistake I
made as a mother. “Why didn’t I read to her more as a kid?” Why did I have to
fly off the handle when we argued.” Why didn’t I buy her everything that she
asked for?” “Why didn’t I visit her in NY more?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Motherhood is never easy but
sitting in a big hospital waiting room all by yourself in an unfamiliar city
has to be one of my hardest moments as a mother and as a person I have experienced.
I wanted to scream, instead I sat quietly in the corner, with tears streaming
down my face for hours. I must have made some kind of world record for the number
of tears shed at Northwestern that day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I had been in touch with Dave by
phone all day as he was really struggling not being there. He had an afternoon meeting
scheduled with his boss and things were not going well at work. He was
unhappy in his job pre accident and after the accident the stress was really
getting to him. At the end of their meeting his boss asked about Lauren, Dave
mentioned that Lauren was actually in surgery as they spoke. His boss suggested
Dave take a leave of absence and go be with us and Dave agreed. A few hours
later he hopped on a plane to Chicago and was with me by 10 pm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forever my knight in shining armor. I
was never so happy to see someone come through the door.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-40997514711787978532019-03-01T22:36:00.001-06:002019-03-01T22:46:02.647-06:00Remaining Grateful on The First day of TBI Awareness Month<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="false"
DefSemiHidden="false" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="375">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hashtag"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Unresolved Mention"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:swiss;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536859905 -1073732485 9 0 511 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is very difficult to write about Lauren without including
stories of the old Lauren. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked myself
why? If I was to write about any of my other children, I probably wouldn’t have
any issues describing them without mentioning their past. That little nugget of
information made me realize what a disservice I am doing to all that is great
about present day Lauren. Having a child who has survived the impossible is a
constant battle within myself of choosing whether or not I am thankful for what
I have or sad for what I have lost. When I am with her, I am l always thankful.
During the quiet moments alone, the deep sorrow begins to creep in and overstay
its welcome, just like an unwanted house guest. How do I fix this? I wish I had
an easy answer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When I
begin my day, Lauren has already unloaded the dishwasher and put a new filter
in my coffee pot in preparation for her crabby mother to roll down the stairs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even with severe brain damage she knows enough
to realize that coffee will transform her mother into something that is almost
pleasant by the third cup. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gets up
early so she can prepare everything for her day. Her clothes are normally laid
out the night before, she checks her schedule over and over again on her iPhone.
She writes in her journal, gets herself breakfast (normally a granola bar),
checks social media and gets everything ready to start her day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her morning
routine is more of a ritual than a routine and nothing will get in her way, NOTHING.
I honestly believe if the house was on fire she would first, put her toothbrush
in the correct spot, make sure her bag is packed and ready for the day (for the
fifth time) and stuff 25 to 30 extra Kleenexes in her purse, right next to the
25 or 30 that she didn’t use yesterday. Then and only then would she be okay with
making a mad dash for the front door. As someone who has spent almost 50 years
flying by the seat of my pants, this new improved Lauren is often difficult for
me to manage. She has been taught errorless learning in therapy. An example of
this type of strategy is always having her purse in the exact same spot and never
deviating from the order of daily tasks. This takes the pressure off and allows
her to do things without her brain having to process difficult concepts. When
something varies from the norm or one of her therapies is canceled you can see and
feel her extreme anxiety and bewilderment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If she
receives a new medication and the instructions are to take it at noon, she takes
it 15 minutes early each day until it reaches her maximum of 45 minutes early. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I try and make her wait, she is consumed
with the thought of forgetting for the next 45 minutes. She can focus on nothing
else. I have realized that 45 minutes early is better for her than 45 minutes
with her brain in constant chaos. The concept of time is tough for her, every single
day she puts her coat on and grabs her purse 10 minutes before it is time to
go. There have been times where she has walked out of an early morning workout
20 minutes early because she had something scheduled at 6 pm and she wanted to
make sure she didn’t miss anything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
These are all things that make me a
little crazy. I once read a great quote that made me really think about how
hard things are for her. “I may be living with TBI, but she is living “IN” it.”
There is a big difference and I cannot begin to think for one second that I
could truly understand how hard life is for her. I have no other choice but to
watch as she continues to do things that don’t make much sense like; bolting
out of bed in the middle of a deep sleep when she hears the mail truck, constantly
picking <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lint or hair off my sweater resembling
a monkey grooming their young, calling a waitress over to pick up a straw
wrapper on our table, these are all things that a normal brain can ignore. Lauren’s
brain is far from normal, it is damaged and not just a little bit of damage. A piece
has been removed, and an MRI showed that many sections throughout her brain have
died, resulting in the same type of damage as someone who has suffered from shaking
baby syndrome. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
With all of this knowledge, why can’t
I just be thankful with the many things she does right instead being annoyed
with the insignificant things that she does wrong? My best guess is because I
feel like I have failed her somehow. I take credit for her failures but don’t
take credit for her successes, Moms are funny like that, doesn’t matter what
the situation is, when your kid screws up, the mom guilt comes at you like a 90-mph
fast ball. When I see someone else’s kid in trouble I never think, “Wow, her
mom must have done something to cause her to do that.” Why can’t I give myself
the same respect? Just part of motherhood, I guess. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Lauren has recently embarked on
doing public speaking, this is something that really excites her. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many times, I wonder if I am doing the right
thing by encouraging her in this direction, After all, she does have a severe
speech deficit….. Despite this little road block, she finds a way to make the
audience fall in love with her the minute they lay eyes on her. They hang on
her every word. Her poise and confidence along with her comedic timing are always
on point. She insists on buying a new outfit for every presentation, we call it
retail therapy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
When I share with her when she has
received another inquiry on her website, she always remembers to follow up to see if a date has been booked and if not, why not? She is a tough boss
and I love every second of it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lauren
has found a sense of purpose again and it’s great to see her walk with her head
a little higher and an extra spring in her step. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRIKJKfQ5BZxy5EBfCPCkBbWqnMKdh4I6sfYtkjXmx4pNUsNoXbHPzd5BEhVJ410-C0V4tHCmkSqarW4EbryORqel6VZTniKSmOQ9TW7hkzxb-y0MS7soYusRFc2nGbucZ71NBcenGwaQt/s1600/IMG_6117+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="902" data-original-width="1210" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRIKJKfQ5BZxy5EBfCPCkBbWqnMKdh4I6sfYtkjXmx4pNUsNoXbHPzd5BEhVJ410-C0V4tHCmkSqarW4EbryORqel6VZTniKSmOQ9TW7hkzxb-y0MS7soYusRFc2nGbucZ71NBcenGwaQt/s320/IMG_6117+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-84739042156805035062017-03-27T13:59:00.000-05:002017-03-27T13:59:00.057-05:00<div class="MsoNormal">
This weekend was Mom Prom, this is an event that I have been
looking forward to for years. I have enjoyed the whole prom process through the
years with my girls. From picking out the perfect dress, shoes, accessories,
sticky boobs, eyelashes, tanning, updo’s….everything! Many people have said
that prom was overrated, but for someone who never had the chance to go to
prom, I have always felt gypped. I helped my friends get ready for prom when I
was 17, but I couldn’t find that perfect maternity prom dress….or date that was
willing to take a pregnant girl, so I opted out. This was finally my chance,
and I was super excited. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clearly, I am aware that this time around would not be the
same as an actual high school prom but this was the closest I was going to get.
I had plans to lose at least 40 lbs. this year so I wasn’t limited to a black
dress to try and help hide all my flaws, mainly my apple shaped body. I knew I
had to get serious on Jan 1<sup>st</sup>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By Jan 3<sup>rd</sup>, I was like…cake, oh
how I love cake. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was able to lose about 10 lbs but that wasn’t enough to be
back in a size 2….whatever, I’m not going to be the first fat mom at mom prom
and I’m sure I won’t be the last. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to NY in March for Lauren to run a 5K and decided
that was a great time to shop for my dress. Instead of a size 2 hot pink dress
that I had envisioned, I decided to put a number 1 in front of the 2 and go for
a size 12 black dress with the hopes I would look smaller. I have a really nice
formal <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>gown that I wore to the Governors
inaugural ball in January but I didn’t want to be the mom who looked like she
thought this was a real prom….even though I secretly did. I had to play it
cool!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I normally tan for a few weeks when I have a special event
coming up, everyone knows that fat looks so much better when it has some color.
Because I have spent way too much time baking this pasty Irish skin, I usually
cover my face with a towel when I tan and use extra bronzer. I stopped at the
tanning place last Monday to see about buying a tanning package. The girl at
the counter tried to sell me every product known to man and told me the cost of
5 tans would be $90 and if I didn’t buy her tanning lotion that apparently possessed
super powers, I wouldn’t achieve my desired result. I decided to leave while I
still had my dignity and $90, there was no guarantee that 5 tans would give my
pasty legs enough color. I went down the road to another tanning place and
asked about spray tans. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She gave me all the information that they had. I could get a
custom airbrush tan or try the mystic tan booth. I decided that it would be unfair
to this young girl to have her see me half naked to get a custom spray. She was
young and impressionable, I felt that if she was considering having 7 kids in
14 years that seeing my rocking hard body would just paint an unrealistic
picture for her. Not everyone can be this smokin’ hot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gave me a print out of tips for spray
tanning to take home. My girls have had several spray tans and they always look
good so I figured this was the way to go, again I wanted to get some color but
not look like I was trying too hard. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I read the leaflet and did my homework, I washed my face,
exfoliated my skin, avoided lotion, took of my deodorant, I was ready to go. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLSZreixkSko3faifIzGRnakYs8HzU1vAYgf8Zbc1b-TFCI_V3K4cbCAFHjZ2gt6NqIv_Jx8dfI0iJ_J8M-0bLtYlKlEZZPy2BS8gnNhsR9OcTmM04oXsytrgE79pqyhibB_VElJyE5jnA/s1600/FullSizeRender+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="97" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLSZreixkSko3faifIzGRnakYs8HzU1vAYgf8Zbc1b-TFCI_V3K4cbCAFHjZ2gt6NqIv_Jx8dfI0iJ_J8M-0bLtYlKlEZZPy2BS8gnNhsR9OcTmM04oXsytrgE79pqyhibB_VElJyE5jnA/s200/FullSizeRender+5.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When
I arrived, she asked If I wanted to buy some lotion that will help extend my
tan, (I guess everyone has magic lotion) I opted out of the lotion but I did
pay $2.50 for sticky feet as they are supposed to help keep you from having
orange feet. I didn’t want orange feet. As I was sitting there I was starting
to panic a bit, was I doing the right thing, should I have bought the magic
potion at the other place and done the 5 tans, what if I turn out orange, I’m
already feeling short and fat, will I look like an oompa loompa?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once it was my turn, she brought me back and quickly went
over the instructions, she recommended that I tan naked. As she was explaining
everything I was thinking, naked? Really? I must have stopped listening but
didn’t realize until she left. I took of my clothes and was like, “which lotion
am I supposed to put on my hands? The stuff in the pump on the counter, or on
the wall? What are these wet wipes for?” Once in the booth I was told to wave
my hand across the sensor and the spray will begin. What she didn’t tell me was
that the sensor was actually a Jedi mind trick that erases your whole memory. I
couldn’t remember what she said about my arms, where do I put them? At my
sides, in the air, half way in front of me, I knew that I was supposed to hold
my hands with my fingers apart but my arms….Oh God, why didn’t I pay attention.
I had 15 seconds to make a decision so I put my hands straight in the air like
I was praying to Jesus….Okay maybe I was praying to Jesus, “Dear Jesus please
help me not look orange at mom prom”. The logic behind my warped thinking was
that I wouldn’t have white armpits, my dress was sleeveless. Half way through
the first spray Jesus told me I should move my arms. When the machine said to pivot,
and place my feet on 2 and 4, I decided to hold my arms straight out in front
of me. Then Jesus said, “you are still doing it wrong”. The next pivot would
have had me facing the back wall…that couldn’t be right, could it? Then Jesus
said, “how stupid are you”?? “Do you not want a tan on the back of your body”?
The final spray I turned around and faced the back,I still wasn’t sure where to
put my arms. Next came the drying phase, I remember the girl telling me
something about making sure I left before the cleaning phase, but how long did
she say I had? Why am I such a bad listener? I quickly exited the booth wearing
nothing but my birthday suit and some sticky feet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I Couldn’t wait to get dressed and get the hell out of
there, I felt like Ross from friends. <a href="https://youtu.be/fvVT3N5dZq4">https://youtu.be/fvVT3N5dZq4</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What the girl at the front desk failed to tell me when she
sold me the sticky feet was that they are actually just mouse traps shaped like
feet. I was stuck, like literally stuck to my sticky feet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to cry, it hurt like the fires of
hell pulling off my sticky feet. I think, no, actually, I know I would have preferred
orange feet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got dressed and hurried the hell out of there. When I got
home I texted my daughter’s Erin and Shannon (who often spray tan) to ask about
how I was supposed to hold my arms and how bad would my tan be if I did the
front 3 times instead of 2? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They thought
I was hilarious and couldn’t understand how I could screw up so bad. I knew
that my color wouldn’t come out for a few hours so I decided to go to bed and
hope for the best.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up early because I keep my grandson on Fridays, who incidentally
has gorgeous golden brown skin thanks to his Italian father. I looked in the
mirror and was pleasantly surprised that my tan wasn’t as dreadful as I thought
it might be. I breathed a very heavy sight of relief. I went to grab my
toothbrush and as was putting the toothpaste on, I screamed. OMG I have one
brown hand….”how did this happen?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
best guess is that when I was praying to Jesus, my right hand must have been in
line with the mystic tan sensor. It was bad, like really bad. Luckily prom wasn’t
until Saturday, I had a little time to try and figure it out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMarcK-JyOpxYGV886DqbCuEWAiaprfI1gr6PDq1LTpAEaYVfxfkx7q5tEAfhO29ubBfhfSVspdEma60Clwc0Z3_AqMgJz5OrFCeQ1HrzHroBeetReWqiQRCKHIT7hyphenhyphen9pKRhSUldqelkBg/s1600/FullSizeRender+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMarcK-JyOpxYGV886DqbCuEWAiaprfI1gr6PDq1LTpAEaYVfxfkx7q5tEAfhO29ubBfhfSVspdEma60Clwc0Z3_AqMgJz5OrFCeQ1HrzHroBeetReWqiQRCKHIT7hyphenhyphen9pKRhSUldqelkBg/s320/FullSizeRender+6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spent all day Friday drenching my hand in chemicals, lime
away, comet, soft scrub with bleach, kaboom, acetone, salt scrub, baking soda
and lemon, magic eraser, sugar and lemon, powdered hair bleach with 40 volume
peroxide, and standing with my hand in the sink under a constant flow of near
boiling water…. Eventually the color began to fade, my hand feels like a dry
foot but it is currently a lighter shade of brown. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenJ5Cfk79e4dDIXtuJ-D-UfkKt2eYuSXM1Xh6jBT93JyqZ2u842zilyasIK1qA0lyQtJ0NJNAqgW0-PdYwZJDjmNeGYbLAP78gu2pPMjHBLzyxmtbRfe19QIU4fdy0LkXU8zaUMp3wr6K/s1600/IMG_8711.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjenJ5Cfk79e4dDIXtuJ-D-UfkKt2eYuSXM1Xh6jBT93JyqZ2u842zilyasIK1qA0lyQtJ0NJNAqgW0-PdYwZJDjmNeGYbLAP78gu2pPMjHBLzyxmtbRfe19QIU4fdy0LkXU8zaUMp3wr6K/s200/IMG_8711.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjB4IZzrST_aZdNXjAx1O_QU_ddE4s2cJflbcsHZpm7TpTO9WKa09ZYYpE70hEAt9YtJhz5sLLRYSIR6V9TdFK9mgBFxUltLxNYOo1OE18O2x3wfAJBQGUKOWxPne5_xBZZqo3iR6BsZSp/s1600/IMG_8718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjB4IZzrST_aZdNXjAx1O_QU_ddE4s2cJflbcsHZpm7TpTO9WKa09ZYYpE70hEAt9YtJhz5sLLRYSIR6V9TdFK9mgBFxUltLxNYOo1OE18O2x3wfAJBQGUKOWxPne5_xBZZqo3iR6BsZSp/s200/IMG_8718.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mom prom was a blast, last year I set a goal to acquire a
taste for wine. Amazingly I discovered that I like my family so much more when
I am a little drunk. Why did it take me 46 years to figure this out? Why didn’t
anyone tell me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ordered super cute
wine glasses to commemorate the evening and I drank just enough to help
me forget that I had one white hand and one slightly darker hand that burned a
bit and felt like a foot. My date was super cute but he looked a little pasty!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9wBn6Vj_hHzi2gK3A3Cy2C_H-uzBK9_VC3hmRDFhwHlW_DjnNOICNi7xbGppMGSPe1pEohDNBbufoFO4t8ditxnGlsjLu1UGdovAC8V9yFd1Wq22SkvqJXPQ_aa3gJyy1TrdBCqiftmF3/s1600/IMG_8836.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9wBn6Vj_hHzi2gK3A3Cy2C_H-uzBK9_VC3hmRDFhwHlW_DjnNOICNi7xbGppMGSPe1pEohDNBbufoFO4t8ditxnGlsjLu1UGdovAC8V9yFd1Wq22SkvqJXPQ_aa3gJyy1TrdBCqiftmF3/s200/IMG_8836.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZitwt-BrIXQJU9Ldg4bksjGl1sxLJoh5jzObH1GNIGFCbS0kTUiHBTIAP2WihKkgGWa4gXNPZ-aWYjHVPJpOiJogPVLlOuDCw5b8-SpA7GSGcDNVnGMGvDC8deAYiWB3eZBuxLXeM0Zc/s1600/DSCN9195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZitwt-BrIXQJU9Ldg4bksjGl1sxLJoh5jzObH1GNIGFCbS0kTUiHBTIAP2WihKkgGWa4gXNPZ-aWYjHVPJpOiJogPVLlOuDCw5b8-SpA7GSGcDNVnGMGvDC8deAYiWB3eZBuxLXeM0Zc/s320/DSCN9195.jpg" width="149" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
<o:PixelsPerInch>96</o:PixelsPerInch>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="false"
DefSemiHidden="false" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="382">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Mention"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Smart Hyperlink"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073786111 1 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:#0563C1;
mso-themecolor:hyperlink;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
color:#954F72;
mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-6943739735995386662016-10-11T14:40:00.001-05:002016-10-11T14:40:07.660-05:00Hell Yeah!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmcoTDLGx14z4VJYxqzVoT3hKM0ooxHHhcnbrPlu705EetxlOj4JC8LhzIkDjKP0i5x19ulOb5xuve-lU3P_wiuMAQu8S21haD9e2afDkJmJWotHeVWJJUe00IXEMjHF-JJ_BwZ1OCWqaD/s1600/IMG_5150.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmcoTDLGx14z4VJYxqzVoT3hKM0ooxHHhcnbrPlu705EetxlOj4JC8LhzIkDjKP0i5x19ulOb5xuve-lU3P_wiuMAQu8S21haD9e2afDkJmJWotHeVWJJUe00IXEMjHF-JJ_BwZ1OCWqaD/s320/IMG_5150.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
There are moments in life that literally take your breath away. For me
one of those moments was when I received that awful phone call from a
Los Angeles detective informing me of Lauren's accident. I have relived
the memories of that day time and time again. Not many people can
pinpoint the exact second in their lives where literally everything
changed, unfortunately for me...I can! Not just the obvious change but
an event that was so big that the ripple effects have changed not only my immediate family but extended family, friends and even strangers. <br /> Many
of my relationships are now deeper and there is an emotional bond (that
was already there) so much stronger now that I know there is absolutely
nothing that could ever tear it apart. Sadly, other relationships have
ended, tragedy tends to reveal cracks in relationships that are
ignored for so long that you look back and realize that for whatever
reason, some people aren't who you thought they were...including
yourself.<br />
<br /> It has been 1,271 days since that awful day.
Thankfully, of those days, most have been good. Probably because the only way to go was
up! Clearly my life isn't exactly what I had envisioned for myself but
is anyone's?? I do see things differently now and I have learned to
look for the positive even when I don't feel like being positive.
Attitude is everything. I would be lying if I said that I am thankful
for this tragedy because I have learned so much about selflessness,
love, giving and life in general. It is true that Lauren's accident has
taught me all of those things but as a mother I hate everything about
my current situation. It will never be easy watching my child struggle.<br /> My faith is strong but I still question
why God chose my family. I
am very proud that Lauren is so inspirational to so many. Yet still I
wish it was someone else's kid instead of mine. <br /><br /><br /><br /> Back on April
19th, 2013 I was driving down highway 40 when I received that fateful
phone call. I remember frantically looking for an exit so I could pull
over and write down the information the detective gave me. I eventually
got off at Big Bend and pulled into a random parking lot. I remember it
seemed like it took me forever to find a safe place to pull over that
day. My heart was pounding and my head was spinning. <br /> Dave was my
next call, he didn't answer. I said a quick prayer and dialed the
hospital social worker. Even before she picked up, I knew. Call it
mothers intuition but I knew it was bad. I had asked the detective
earlier if Lauren had head trauma and he said No. My first question to
the social worker when she said hello was, "Does she have head trauma?"
Her response was; "yes, she has severe head trauma." How did I know? I
can't answer that, but somehow I just did. My next question was; "Is she
going to die?" Her response; " If you are asking if you need to get here
quickly, the answer is yes." That first phone call from the detective
brought me to the edge of a cliff and that next call to the social
worker threw me over. <br /> Many more highs and lows followed in the
days/weeks/months/years ahead but none were more life changing than
those two calls on that cold and gloomy day in April of 2013.<br />
<br /><br /> This
past Sunday I was driving down that old familiar stretch of highway 40
on my way to Sam's baby shower. There isn't a time that I pass that area
without that awful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Truth be
told I avoid that stretch of highway if at all possible. Sunday I didn't
have a choice, Sam's shower was coincidentally off of Big Bend. I had a
few extra minutes to kill so I tried to locate the random parking lot I
was in when I made the call to the hospital social worker 1,269 days earlier. I tried to find it one other time about a year ago but couldn't
remember where it was. Sunday was different, I pulled right into the
exact spot. It was the fence, I remember staring at that stupid fence. I hated that fence!
It was there that I learned that my daughter was known as 'Trauma Foxtrot
5395.'<br />
I said a quick prayer and gave thanks for the fact that even
though my life is still hard, harder than I ever thought possible, it is
also good, better than I ever thought possible. I gave myself a mental
"hell yeah." I pulled out of that parking lot feeling like a bad ass
who could conquer the world....and maybe I will!Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-22123310965006326462016-07-31T00:20:00.000-05:002016-07-31T21:15:33.481-05:00Am I Doing It Right?<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I
have read the medical reports time and time again from the early days after Lauren's accident trying to make some sort of
sense over what my daughter has endured over the last several years. The medical
reports are crystal clear, she suffered a </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">closed head injury that was
complicated by brain herniation, frontal lobe contusions, and diffuse SAH
resulting in tetraparesis. Or is it? What does all of that mean? I had to
google tetraparesis. Tetraparesis or tetraplegia is a neurological condition in
which all four limbs are weak (paresis) or paralyzed (plegia). Translation, my
kid was so injured that she was unable to move a muscle. Nurses and doctors had
to pinch her on the fatty part of her arm, next to her armpit, sometimes just
below her knee on the bend of her leg every few hours just to see if she
responded. Brain herniation was another term I googled; Brain herniation is a
potentially deadly side effect of very high pressure within the skull that
occurs when a part of the brain is squeezed across structures within the skull.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once
I knew she would live, I began my quest for all the information I could find on
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) success stories. Who knew they actually have a book
entitled Chicken Soup For The TBI Soul? That book actually made me the most
annoyed of all the other TBI books and articles I have read. Many of the
stories were written by the survivors themselves. I guess I should have been
inspired but instead I found myself rating the extent of their injuries. I
flipped through that book reading story after story and with each one I
thought, “really, you don’t have a severe TBI, you were back at work 3 months
later enjoying life again with a hard time remembering where you left your
keys. Logically I know that isn’t fair to those who have lost so much and
shared their stories. I was on a plane coming back from being with Lauren (when
she was an inpatient in Omaha) when my epiphany hit me. The reason there weren’t
any stories in the Chicken Soup for the TBI soul book that were similar to her
story was because most of the people who had sustained such extreme injuries didn’t
make it. Those that do, remain in a semi vegetative state. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One
thing I have learned is that I am constantly learning. Navigating this primary
Caretaker TBI ship isn’t easy. Sometimes the pressure can really get to me. Am
I doing all the right things? Is she getting the right therapies? Should I ask
about other medications? Is she happy? Was I too crabby this morning? Is it
okay if I am not always patient with her? Am I making enough time for my
husband? Am I too distant with my other kids? Do my other kids know how proud
they make me? Will this ever be easy? Is life really supposed to be easy..for
anyone? Can God hear me? Why do I love cake and not carrots? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
have made many friends along this journey and met many fabulous doctors,
therapists and nurses. They all seem to be amazed by my daughter and the
progress that she has made. Some even scratch their heads in bewilderment at
the fact that she has accomplished so much despite how severe her injuries
were. We are now at the point of her recovery that she has begun to take an
active role in trying to get better. Things are still hard for her and her
injury has actually made her a little quirky (like her dad). For instance; when
we are going somewhere she will grab my purse and keys and stand by the door
for 10 minutes until I am ready to go. If someone is coming to visit or picking
her up, she will sit on the dining room chair for 20 minutes waiting for them
to show up, if they are late, each minute is agony. On the days that I drop her
off at work with her friend Shae, she always calls me 20 minutes before I am
scheduled to come and get her. For the record, Dave’s quirks are different than
Laurens. He doesn’t grab my purse and keys, when we are leaving the house, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he actually has to be the last one out of the
house. Then he has to make himself an ice water and grab some snacks while his
family melts in the hot car waiting for him. If only Dave and Lauren could get
on the same quirk schedule, I could at least grab his keys from Lauren and
start the car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
blog post was started because I was bored tonight while googling different
therapies and TBI strategies. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve this year
in regard to trying different types of therapies and brain injury computer
programs. Lauren is normally pretty receptive to all the crazy crap that I come
up with. We have a few Aphasia workbooks that we work on each week and often
she will bring them to me and ask if we can practice. I can’t even imagine how
hard it is for her to function each day. She has recovered enough to realize
what has been lost. Her mental sharpness is on point but her understanding of
language and her ability to talk fluently is still very poor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
prayer for her has always been, will she ever have the ability to fall in love,
get married, bring children into the world etc. This summer while on vacation
she had a seizure that caused a bit of a setback. For four days she was unable
to speak any words that made sense and she couldn’t understand anything that
she heard. It was really scary. Life is fragile and how quickly my prayer for
her changed from, will she ever get married to a prayer of, will she ever be
able to understand me or speak again? Thankfully our prayers were answered and
she is back to her old spunky self. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
will continue to second guess every move I make and wonder what I am missing.
The puzzle is coming together nicely but there are still so many pieces that
are missing. I, like every other mother on the planet have been second guessing
myself every day of my life. That will never change, unfortunately neither will my love for
cake. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for now I will celebrate
the miracle of my daughter’s recovery and try my very hardest to be thankful
for what I have. One of the countless quotes I have pinned on Pinterest <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I alternate between Pinterest quotes and
Google TBI searches)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is “Recovery is a process.
It takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you got” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our
family has changed so much since the date of Lauren’s accident. Sam got married
and now she is having a baby…in that order. Dave and I were super excited
especially since we ourselves messed up the order. Erin is a nurse and is in
the process of looking for a house, not sure why because she has excellent roommates
(us). Shannon is in South Africa working with sick kids in the hospital. She
texted me tonight to tell me that she went zip lining, she pet a cheetah and
was going to go shark cage diving today. Shannon is the kid that brought band
aids with her to the movies when she was little just in case something started
to hurt (thinking she may have been brainwashed in South Africa). Kelsey is
finishing up her summer working as an intern with an awesome company and
getting ready to return to college for her Junior year. Ryan just finished a
week in DC learning about our government and politics and Maggie just got her
permit and is learning how to drive (God help me.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Despite
all the hard things in life, life is still good and I am eternally grateful
that Lauren survived a bunch of words that I can’t pronounce, and I’m going to
be a grandma! How awesome is that? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God is
Good! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
<o:PixelsPerInch>96</o:PixelsPerInch>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="false"
DefSemiHidden="false" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="380">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-23527495216734891362016-05-14T15:48:00.001-05:002016-05-14T15:48:59.344-05:00Still Aging......<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am still battling the effects of aging. I have never been very good at getting into a routine of washing my face and applying moisturizer. I am definitely a type “B” person and prefer to just go with the flow. To define go with the flow..Basically I go to bed every night with a full face of makeup. Why would I bother taking off my make-up, I can do it in the morning when I am not tired. Luckily I never had acne issues when I was young so it was easy to ignore my skin and not be penalized for laziness and lack of facial care. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Now that I am pushing 40, (okay technically I’m really pushing 50 but I would prefer to consider myself more like 36 instead of my real age of 46) I hate what I see when I look in the mirror or see a photograph of myself. Not only has the eating my feelings diet totally exceeded my expectations but the turning my face into shoe leather years in the sun, combined with difficult life changes game plan, is also proving to be a strategy that is quite impressive. Go big or go home, right?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Keeping up with all that I have on my plate can often be overwhelming. I decided to try and find someone to clean my house every other week. I was able to get a referral from a girl who sounded great. I will call her “Kim” to protect the innocent….I have a feeling she may make the blog posts often. “Kim” and I planned to meet at my house on Wednesday of last week so she could see the house and give me an estimate on what she would charge. I asked Kelsey, Erin and Ryan if they would please clean their rooms before Wednesday? When I went to bed on Tuesday Kelsey was in her room trying to get things put away that she had brought home with her from college on Sunday. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I woke up Wednesday morning and checked on her progress…….</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6l9mn6H5lRafrj4RlTMZc7bs74xjGlCUVW4mKTg4KisaqQWqcK3ZATugJ88sh6wNM7gmkhSsiJg0dut6K6jGrc-jPU4vdE3HkXUjACV2DfHtmtx3v2SLbVJ1u-v5Cj0AHuAkepNSXJ9j1/s1600/IMG_3391.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6l9mn6H5lRafrj4RlTMZc7bs74xjGlCUVW4mKTg4KisaqQWqcK3ZATugJ88sh6wNM7gmkhSsiJg0dut6K6jGrc-jPU4vdE3HkXUjACV2DfHtmtx3v2SLbVJ1u-v5Cj0AHuAkepNSXJ9j1/s320/IMG_3391.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">When I went into Ryan and Erin’s rooms it finally hit me. They must have ALL misunderstood me, my mistake. Apparently Ryan and Erin thought I said, make a huge pile of all of your crap and hide it to one side of your room. Poor little Kelsey must have thought I wanted her to run around and simulate an F-4 tornado. God love her she had to have been up all night working on her room. She really should take it easy the rest of the week.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">When “Kim” showed up I let her know that when my kids didn’t pick up their rooms that she can just by-pass them when she comes. When I opened the door to Kelsey’s room to show her what I meant, I think I heard a gasp. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Friday I decided to go to Target and get some closet organizer stuff, maybe that is their issue, they just don’t have enough closet space. I’m hopeful….. After I left Target I sent the girls this text message. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivy2OIjtBLbTzQQfVjJeGtl-i-n4V3Nvsaa3SRXMhS8w3Hf46ljoXvRsTN0O5ReC1iuRkeUtVaqRrJVQ5SPRIWd-KYKfsd1rnT98Mn3DpkBSAcJ_Xl3dNjDFXzkrYdQBmTX8TN3U5p1Mnd/s1600/IMG_3434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivy2OIjtBLbTzQQfVjJeGtl-i-n4V3Nvsaa3SRXMhS8w3Hf46ljoXvRsTN0O5ReC1iuRkeUtVaqRrJVQ5SPRIWd-KYKfsd1rnT98Mn3DpkBSAcJ_Xl3dNjDFXzkrYdQBmTX8TN3U5p1Mnd/s320/IMG_3434.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">So here I am on Saturday morning, sitting all alone in my quiet house working on homework for my statistics class. I can’t help but wonder what is the statistical probability that one of my kids will keep their room clean? </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I decided to take a break from homework and try out my newest wrinkle creams ( I have a whole arsenal of products). I couldn’t read the directions because I am refusing to buy reading glasses. Why should I buy them, I’m not even 40….or was it 50??? Whatever. So here I am sitting alone in my kitchen with a face full of lotion that decided to slowly work itself into my eyeballs. After about 20 minutes, I was suffering from not only wrinkles, but a runny nose from daily moisturizer making its way through my sinus cavity via my eyeballs. Blowing my nose every 10 seconds was nothing compared to the fact that my contacts were soon so cloudy from moisturize that I couldn’t see a thing. So much for positively radiant, maybe I should just take a nap, go to an all you can eat buffet or find a local bingo hall.</span></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-53739888955770784762016-01-14T20:25:00.000-06:002016-01-15T10:32:10.500-06:00Change is Hard<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1">Big Changes For 2016</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"> I have been away from home since July 3rd. I have had a few trips back during that time, the longest being over Christmas. I have a new appreciation for the phrase “There’s no place like home.” I have loved every second that I have been able to spend at home but I realized during my time at home that things have changed since I left. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> </span>2016 will be a year of changes. I am starting the process of packing up my apartment in Omaha and getting ready to come home. Lauren is now in a simulation apartment on campus at QLI. They are giving her less support in her daily activities and are trying to successfully lead her down the path to more independence. Her speech is slowly improving and she continues to defy the odds. I will be home February 1st. I will fly to Omaha every weekend to be with Lauren. This will be tough for me to leave but I know she will do better in Omaha without me. Independence is something all parents want for their kids. I survived her first day of kindergarten, her driving, her going off to college and her moving to New York...I will survive this too and she will be stronger for it. It is best for her to be able to push herself. She can do this! She has had almost three years of preparation living with such a pushy mother. </div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> Another change for 2016 involves Shannon and Kelsey. Previously they had access to my bank account and would transfer money whenever their accounts were running low. College is expensive so this year I am giving them each a monthly stipend. They can use this money for whatever they want. I pay their utilities and rent so the money I deposit twice monthly is basically for food and recreation aka Vodka. So far I have received half a dozen SOS calls because their funds are drying up quickly. Shannon just received a $20 advance for February. I’m sure once Kelsey reads this my phone will ring.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> Back in October I purchased a few flights when Southwest had a good sale. I flew home Monday for a short 39 hour trip. While I was home, I observed that Dave has really staked his claim as king of the castle. He is a bit quirky and likes things a certain way. For example he mentioned to me “We make the bed every morning now.” Oh do we? It was nice to be home but I felt almost like a guest (a very bitchy outspoken guest but still a guest). My dishes were all rearranged in the cabinets and my bathroom no longer had deodorant, shampoo, conditioner or body wash. The girls had swiped that long ago. Watching TV with my husband has never been easy but now that he has had complete control of the remote for 7 months it is brutal. Tuesday evening I watched 7 minutes of The Big Bang Theory, 10 minutes of the Blues game, 6 minutes of an incredibly boring World War II program and 8 minutes of Tosh.0. I realized then that I only have a few weeks to devise my plan to successfully overthrow the current regime in the house and regain control of the house, TV and the skillfully made bed. I am pretty confident that it will be like taking candy from a baby. My prediction is that he will be watching Lifetime movies by Feb 3rd.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> Monday night Dave asked me if I would mind cleaning his shower while I was home. A little back story on the shower…When we were under construction to modify our home it was difficult to add a master bathroom in the space that we had. Our contractor suggested we modify the plans and install a tub/shower combo. I am a bath person and wanted to keep them separate. In order to do so, Dave’s shower had to be pretty small. My bathtub is shorter than a standard tub but much deeper. Now that everything is done, I feel pretty bad and wish I would have conceded and done the tub/shower combo. If you take the size of a shower in a stateroom on a cruise ship and cut it in thirds you would have the dimensions of Dave’s shower. If he gains any weight he may have to spray himself with Pam in order to fit. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> Because I have always been a submissive wife, (did anyone buy that?) The next morning I sprayed down the shower walls with bathroom cleaner and went downstairs to do some work for my online classes. An hour later I went back upstairs to tackle the shower. The soap scum and hard water stains were pretty bad. Seriously did he not think to do this anytime in the last 7 months? Last April I tried to hire a cleaning lady. The week she was supposed to start, she broke her foot. She told me she would get in touch as soon as she was more mobile. I have yet to hear back from her. I think someone may have tipped her off about us and she headed (limped) for the hills. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> After scraping the soap scum off my brand new beautiful bathroom tile I decided it was time for my quirky husband to make a change for 2016. I hid every last bar of his coveted Irish Spring soap. Who still uses bar soap? And those that do, why Irish Spring? I bought him some manly smelling body wash and placed it in his mini shower and patiently waited for the shit to hit the fan. He was less then pleased with me when he realized operation soap modification was in full swing. I explained to him that I had tucked away his Irish Spring in a very special place and he could have it back on Feb 1st. I left for the airport a few hours later…I did not make the bed. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-44334150514131957122015-11-09T22:55:00.001-06:002015-11-09T22:55:38.647-06:00<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Last spring I decided to go back to school to give myself a greater sense of purpose. When Lauren and I moved to Omaha I signed up for online classes so I could continue my program without taking time off. I am taking 17 credit hours this semester….What was I thinking?</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">College has been pretty hard so far, it’s not easy teaching an old dog new tricks. I am keeping my head above water and I am thankful that I have school as a distraction while I am here in Omaha. One of my classes required I update my profile on blackboard (college online page). I had to add a picture to my profile. It was very difficult to find a suitable picture. I don’t have too many pictures of just myself. I am past the appropriate age for selfies. I didn’t want a picture that would showcase the fact that I am roughly 25 years older than all my classmates. I checked on Facebook and started with my most recent albums and worked my way back. The picture I ended up choosing was from Kelsey’s Junior ring day. It was a picture of the two of us and I was able to crop her out. Every time I log on to work on my homework that picture of myself is staring back at me. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Once I realized when the picture was taken I knew why I had subconsciously chosen it. That was the last picture taken of me before Lauren’s accident. It was taken 3 days before that awful phone call that changed the course of my life. My happiness and easy life show on my face, I miss that look in my eyes. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The difference between then and now is that even when I am happy I am still grieving so deeply that I can’t be joyful. I thought about changing the picture once I realized what it symbolized. Instead, I have decided to use it as a motivator to be joyful regardless of my current situation. I read a quote the other day in a book that said; “ A mother is only as happy as her saddest child.” That quote really touched my heart. Then I thought to myself….”Shit….Why in the hell did I have so many kids? Someone is always bound to be sad. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Even though that picture was just 2 years ago my face has aged at least 10 years. Along with the under eye bags and fine lines, I have also received a gift. That gift is a new appreciation for life. I have seen my children face big people problems with maturity and grace and I am so incredibly proud of them. Dave and I are apart more than we are together yet we still find time to touch base at least a dozen times per day. Life is slowly getting better and I am thankful for the life I have now but I still long for the ease of my old life.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The happy mom in the pink dress is gone. She no longer exists. The good news is that she has been replaced with a strong, independent, bad ass, traumatic brain injury slayer and she is pretty awesome. She is new and improved. She may have a few more eye bags and fine lines, but she is stronger and wiser. She has a whole bathroom full of eye cream and is working on being joyful. She is inching closer and closer each day!</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicAK-IyFv5b4N2amuGYwUNhNCyyGfG8NlQM0F3Y9pinSiLLcJhnU-dKMTyJoFrRBCcgX0RUBMHqxb-38GVcLrcYbbM0jIlX7NvGslUGMyjItPxGdtiGVtUcr6bpHSeNhXswhjR_6N9-BD/s1600/59691_10200211870117088_522457480_n+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicAK-IyFv5b4N2amuGYwUNhNCyyGfG8NlQM0F3Y9pinSiLLcJhnU-dKMTyJoFrRBCcgX0RUBMHqxb-38GVcLrcYbbM0jIlX7NvGslUGMyjItPxGdtiGVtUcr6bpHSeNhXswhjR_6N9-BD/s320/59691_10200211870117088_522457480_n+%25282%2529.jpg" width="207" /></a></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-35233710268100734772015-10-30T15:42:00.000-05:002015-10-30T15:42:45.538-05:00<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><b>Motherhood by definition is; the state of being a mother.</b> (I actually looked it up.) </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>I am far from wise but what I do know is that motherhood in all of its forms is a gift; the good, the bad, and even the ugly. One common theme throughout motherhood is that every mother believes that God gave her the most beautiful children in the world. Clearly most are wrong because my children truly are the most beautiful…Am I the only one who thinks that? </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>I became a mother a few weeks after my 18th birthday. I weighed 137 pounds when I delivered my first baby. I remember thinking that I was the fattest girl in the whole world. That makes me laugh out loud today. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Raising kids is the hardest job on the planet but it is also the biggest gift. Even the shittiest parts of motherhood are beautiful when you pull back all the layers. I have learned that the early years are super hard but they are also super easy. When my Erin was little she was full of energy. She wore me out like no other toddler, she walked at 8 months and could climb like spiderman. How does a toddler learn to climb up a refrigerator? Especially a refrigerator with a missing handle because she snapped it right off. I somehow survived those years and even survived her teenage years of drunken high school parties disguised as “Mom, I’m going to the movies.” With each stage of motherhood, the job seems to get harder and harder. Now she is a successful ICU nurse and takes care of some of the sickest kids in St. Louis. I no longer worry about her falling from a high cabinet or drinking too much at a high school party. Now my worries are for her broken heart as she watches some of the strongest mother’s fighting along side of their children who have been given the most unfair, worst set of circumstances. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>One of the advantages for me of becoming a mother at such a young age is that I never really had a chance to realize what the job entailed. My biggest concern was whether or not the stretch marks across my hips would go away. I mean…Oh My God….I thought I might die. Fast forward a decade and a half later, the stretch marks are small potatoes compared to seeing your kid sad after not winning a student council election or not making Varsity soccer. Why didn’t anyone tell me this? Or did they…would I have listened? </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Yet the triumphs are so much sweeter. Seeing your oldest become class valedictorian when you took motherhood 101 instead of getting a high school diploma is pure joy. The pride of motherhood is indescribable. Even during times when things are less than perfect there is always a silver lining. Life is certainly unpredictable and has many ups and downs. Motherhood is such a privilege and I am thankful that God entrusted me with seven of the most talented, good hearted, caring, beautiful children. He also entrusted me with seven of the most difficult, wild, messy, obnoxious and rude children in the world, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>The last couple of years have really taken their toll on me. I never thought I would be the type of mom who wasn’t involved in the day to day activities of my kids. Since Lauren’s accident I have lived away from my family for long periods of time. I have lived in Beverly Hills, Downtown Chicago, St.Petersburg Florida (twice), and now I reside in Omaha Nebraska. When I was younger I went from my parent’s house to owning a home as a newlywed. In the last 2.5 years I have lived away from my family in five different apartments alone. This time has definitely taken a toll. This is not the job I signed up for…but that is part of the mystique of motherhood. Do any of us really sign up for the crappy parts? </span></div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><span class="Apple-tab-span"> </span>Today I actually googled, “The best product for under eye bags”. How did I get here? I guess what I’m trying to say is that motherhood is so much more than “the state of being a mother.” It is the hardest thing, the saddest thing, the funniest thing and the most glorious thing all wrapped up in a shiny bow. It is who I am and I have loved every second of it. Well, not the new bags under my eyes…those really suck… That’s all the wisdom I have for now, I’m headed to Target to pick up the Olay Regenerist Anti-Aging Eye Roller. </span></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-58740681330132905102015-09-02T13:20:00.001-05:002015-09-02T13:20:43.055-05:00Shock, Denial, Anger and AcceptanceGrief…it’s a funny thing, okay its really not funny at all but it is peculiar. Ironically my favorite rockstar has an album named shock, denial anger and acceptance. For him it represents his depression. For me those four words represent the last couple years of my life. <br /><br />The shock occurred when on a typical Friday afternoon I got a phone call from an LA detective telling me that my daughter was involved in a serious accident. That part of my grief lasted for quite a while. I think I walked around the campus of Cedars Sinai with a look of shell shock and zombie like auto pilot demeanor the whole time we were there, 46 days to be exact. I guess the private jet to Chicago snapped me out of my shock a bit. Denial set in as I settled in Chicago. Seriously, I am living alone in an apartment, visiting my brain injured daughter every day? <br /><br />Anger…that was a tough one for me. I remember feeling anger after Lauren’s shunt surgery in Chicago when she briefly left RIC for surgery at Northwestern. That was the first time anger reared its ugly head. We were only a couple weeks in to inpatient rehab I and I was just learning the ropes of being a caretaker for Lauren. She was still pretty helpless, she could barely hold her head up without support and or coaching. She was incontinent, and was hard to change due to her inability to move her body. The staff at Northwestern wasn’t competent in dealing with a patient with such specific needs. I remember the nurse trying to administer Lauren’s thrush medicine. She asked her to put the medicine in her mouth and swish it around. I thought, “Are you kidding me? She can’t even hold up her head.” I explained to her that she received her medicine via a sponge wand that needs to be placed on her tongue. The next snafu at Northwestern was when Lauren was brought down to CT and brought right back upstairs. They were unable to get the scan because (as was coldly explained within earshot in the hallway), this patient can not follow simple directions.” This is about the time I lost it…I was mad at the world and shamefully I was mad as hell at Lauren. “Why in the hell did she feel like she could cross a 5 or 6 lane road when the caution light was blinking don’t walk? Doesn’t she realize how she has changed my life? I just want to go home, sleep in my own bed, be with my husband, her siblings, go to work and play on the weekends. Is that too much to ask? To add insult to injury she had just been diagnosed with C-Diff and was needing to be changed every 10 minutes. I took it upon myself to take over those duties, it was a dignity thing and I wanted to protect her from outsiders feeling pity for my formerly independent daughter. Luckily Dave had flown to Chicago to be with me and could see I was struggling. He took over waiting for discharge papers and to go with her as she was transported back to RIC. I went back to my apartment to regroup.<br /><br />Acceptance…Ah that is a strong word. To acceptance I offer a big fat “screw you!!” It is over two years since my grief began and I refuse to accept our situation. In the early days when I was still in shock, I was told that if my daughter lived she we most likely remain in a semi vegetative state. Her future looked bleak and most likely she would always need long term nursing care for her very basic needs. Sometimes I really struggle with my present situation. Logic tells me that things will always be difficult but logic also told me that my daughter would not survive her injuries. It is not always so easy to be positive. I realize many people pity me for my optimism, you would half to be half crazy to believe Lauren will return to a “normal” life. Good thing I am a little more than half crazy…I am a certified nut case! I am good at pulling it together. In the words of my favorite movie quote from Bridesmaids, “Carol, get your shit together.” I use that often. Back in St. Louis I am busy with my family and it is easy to hold it together. When you set the example for half a dozen other people, hiding your grief is easy peasy, in the silence of Omaha, it’s not so easy. <br /><br /><br /><br />The Sunday before Lauren moved in at QLI, we went grocery shopping. I bought some celery. For anyone that knows me….I do not eat fruit nor vegetables so even thinking about eating celery is a big move. I told Lauren that as she started her tough journey on Monday, I would do something tough like eat celery. As I drove away Monday night, I stopped at the store and bought the biggest milk chocolate candy bar I could find. It is now the second week and I am feeling pretty disconnected from everything that makes me who I am. I am on the outside looking in. It is hard because I realize that I am exactly where I need to be but I am just so sad. Without having to hold it together for anyone here, I am falling apart. I have had mornings where I literally make myself sick from emotions and throw up. I try to always find the positive even in dark situations…One positive observation is that I bet celery would taste awful coming back up….I wouldn’t know because I haven’t had any yet. The butter pecan ice cream carton is nearly empty though. Another positive is that I am not throwing up due to pregnancy related morning sickness. Today Sept 2nd I declare that my pity party is officially over. I said to myself this morning, “Carol, get your shit together.” I put on some lipstick, my figure flattering spandex bike shorts, and hopped on my bike to clear my head. <br /><br />Lauren is where she needs to be and she continues to amaze me. Aphasia just plain sucks… I realize that if she would not have had that portion of her brain removed, she wouldn’t have survived, so for that I am thankful and I can deal with the aphasia for now..… It will take time but she will get there. Life isn’t supposed to be easy, we got this and I truly believe we are on our way to greater things. The road to recovery often feels like it gets longer and longer. That's okay, because Mama Murphy will not accept what others feel is the future. People do impossible things all the time, I believe in the human spirit and more importantly I believe in the power of prayer. I know that God has put my family on this earth to work together for something amazing. Murphy's rule and they sure as hell don’t quit! In the meantime I will stay in limbo on the grief scale because acceptance is just not happening until I see my beautiful girl walk off into the sunset happy and healthy and whole because I am bat shit crazy and will not stop pushing until that happens. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-78622361195074447342015-07-27T10:26:00.000-05:002015-07-27T10:27:17.081-05:00What Is Aphasia?<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is Aphasia? …….<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Aphasia is a
condition that robs you of the ability to communicate. It can affect your
ability to speak, write and understand language, both verbal and written. That
is the technical definition that I found on the web……</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> To me, Aphasia is so much more. Aphasia
is heartbreaking, sad, frustrating, unfair, and hilarious all in one. Watching
a loved one search desperately for simple words isn’t easy. Often times I help
by finishing her sentences. (I have been doing that for my husband for years.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I’m not “helping” when I do this but I
can’t help myself. I hate to see the pain in my daughter’s eyes as she searches
for such a simple word. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I have Googled the word Aphasia so many
times that I think I have worn out those letters on my keyboard. There is no
quick fix for Aphasia, trust me I’ve looked. Two years ago my daughter was hit
by a car and had a portion of her left temporal lobe removed. Aphasia didn’t
rear its ugly head until 6 months after her accident. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was always there, but in the beginning we
had bigger hurdles to pass before we were even aware of the Aphasia. Hurdles
like; brain swelling, emerging from a coma, learning to hold her head up, sit,
walk, swallow etc. My daughter is tougher than the average bear. She has faced
every obstacle like a true warrior. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Aphasia seems to be the obstacle that
is keeping her furthest from the finish line. Just like an episode of Ninja
Warrior, she has barreled through so many tough obstacles on the course of life.
Aphasia is similar to “The Flying Shelf Grab.” She is so close, she makes
contact with the shelf, but she just can’t hold on. She is undoubtedly a crowd
favorite and has an army of supporters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She will get this….I just know it. In true warrior fashion she will
regroup and work hard to regain what was lost. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I have watched in awe from the
sidelines as the child I gave birth to emerged as such a fighter. She started
life with an APGAR score of 3 and proved herself as a fighter on her very first
day of life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother I have learned
to roll with the punches and laugh when things aren’t always so funny. In the
beginning when she was regaining the ability to speak she never called me by
the right name. I was often referred to as “grandma” or “Jason” or whatever
garbled sound she was able to make. I have spent hours in doctor office waiting
rooms being yelled at in incoherent speech due to my daughter’s frustration.
Again, I had to look to my sense of humor to manage as a room full of patients stared
and wondered what the hell was going on in the corner of the waiting room. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Things are still not easy; having a
loved one who doesn’t always understand simple words is tough. The brain is so
complex that even the experts stand back and scratch their heads. I am
committed to finding the absolute best when it comes to rehabilitation for my
kid. The problem with Aphasia is that no two cases are alike. There is no
cookie cutter plan of action. Rewiring ones brain isn’t easy, especially when
the main pathway to language (left temporal lobe) is not just damaged it is
gone. It is similar to crossing a bridge that is no longer there. I am
confident that we will find a way to either back up and find an alternate route
or rebuild a bridge that is stronger than the original one. It will take some
time but we are in this for the long haul. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Brain injuries and Aphasia don’t give a
clear-cut diagnosis. Experts can only say that patients continue to improve
years after the injury. Rewiring the brain takes time and patience. No two
injuries are alike and no one knows what makes one patient improve while
another does not. Often times I field questions from people like; will she ever
be normal? What I want to say is “Will you always be rude and stupid?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I bite my tongue, smile and say; we
are hopeful, and please continue to pray for her recovery. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then say a quick prayer that this person
gets a terrible case of explosive diarrhea next time she wears her favorite
white pants. </span></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-78693972719003759112015-07-24T15:30:00.001-05:002015-07-24T15:31:28.040-05:00Spandex Sally<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Spandex Sally</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am the furthest thing from a feminist. I have absolutely
no problem letting a man take care of me. I do not shovel snow, cut grass or
take the trash out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come to think of it,
I don’t cook or clean too much either….<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While I have been in Florida I am the head of the household and I’m not
enjoying my new role. The week after I moved in I went to the leasing office to request
my mail key as it suggested in my welcome binder. The office manager introduced
me to the maintenance man and let me know that he would make me a key and
deliver it to my door. He is a young, fairly good-looking Hispanic man. His
accent was so thick that when he introduced himself to me I didn’t catch his
name. I decided to just call him “Eduardo.” It seemed to suit him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been committed to working on myself, (mind, body and
spirit) while I am down here in Florida. I unsuccessfully tried that last time
I was here. I ended up only going to church once, I ate way too many Mint Oreos
and ran so much that instead of losing a few pounds I lost a few toenails and
ended up with a horrible case of planter fasciitis. My tan was fabulous but the
age spots were an unwelcome new addition to my forehead and stayed with me long
after I lost my golden tan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This year
will be different. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I bought a bike at Target because I still can’t run due to heel
pain. Dave came to Florida to help me move in. Basically I just needed him to
carry the heavy stuff…(this was way before Eduardo entered the picture.) I
bought a bright purple Magna brand mountain bike complete with a floral basket,
a padded seat and a fancy clip on water bottle holder thing. She is a real beauty;
I refer to her as the purple princess. Back in the day I took a spinning class
at the gym and my butt hurt for weeks. I never went back. I am kind of a baby
when it comes to pain so not only did I buy a padded seat for the purple
princess but I also went to a bike shop and spent an ungodly amount of money on
figure flattering spandex padded bike shorts. I decided against the matching
form fitting spandex top. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dave flew back home and it was just Lauren and I ready to
work on another new beginning. I dropped her off at school on Monday and
decided to go for a bike ride. I put on my new bike shorts along with a spots
bra and tank top ready to ride. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I
literarily laughed out loud. The fact that the price of my new shorts could
have fed a family in a village somewhere in Ethiopia for 6 months was not lost
on me. I decided to embrace my new look, despite how unforgiving it was. I’m
sexy and I know it! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have never been athletic and I soon learned that answering
a phone and riding a bike are tasks that should never be shared. After finding
myself underneath the purple princess in a patch of grass near the bike trail I
quickly jumped up and looked around to make sure there were no witnesses.
Luckily I was all-alone on the bike trail…maybe my outfit scared everyone away.
I put my apartment key in my little velcro floral basket in a zip lock baggie. After
finishing my ride I parked my bike outside my door and looked for my key. Uhh
Ohh, my key was gone. That meant I had to go to the office in my spandex bike
shorts and see if they had a master key to let me in. Of course Eduardo was
there to save the day and let me in. Crisis averted. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the weekend I caught up on laundry. Somehow I blew a
fuse and my washer and dryer quit working. I went to the fuse box and nothing
looked out of the ordinary. I figured it was a simple fix but didn’t feel like
dealing with it over the weekend. Fast forward to Monday and as I was walking
across the parking lot towards my door Eduardo appeared out of nowhere. I told
him about my issue with the washer and dryer and he came in and fixed them for
me. It took him 30 seconds , it was a fuse problem as I suspected. At this
point I’m beginning to suspect that Eduardo thinks I am making up excuses to
lure him into my empty apartment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Later that afternoon I was at the mailbox trying to figure
out how to get the tiny mailbox key to work and who do I see over my left shoulder
as I am on my 4<sup>th</sup> or 5<sup>th</sup> attempt to open the mail box ? Of
course, Eduardo himself. I said a quick prayer to God, “Oh dear God if you are
really out there, for love of Pete, help me get this mailbox open.” I would
have died if I had had to ask for help. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flashback to 1998 and Dave and I were living in Florissant.
A single mom with a teenage son moved in the rental house next door. She was
very friendly and took a liking to Dave. She seemed to always need help with
something. I was never the jealous type but it was starting to really grind on
my nerves every time she showed up on my front porch and would say, “Dave, can
you help me with……” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her name was Beth
but I affectionately referred to her (behind her back of course) as “Braless
Beth” I mean seriously, doesn’t that hurt? Those things could use some support.
My favorite braless Beth memory was the time she came over when Dave and I were
fighting. I can’t remember what it was about but I’m sure it was nothing I did
wrong, he probably did something stupid, (per usual). Anyhooo, she came over
because she couldn’t find her can opener and needed help opening her off-brand
stewed tomatoes. Who the hell eats that?? I was sitting at the dining room table
helping one of the kids with homework, Braless Beth waited in the foyer and
Dave was in the kitchen trying desperately to open the can. Dave has many
talents but lets be honest, none of them are in the kitchen. He struggles with
the microwave, and has no clue how to preheat an oven. Using a can opener is
like asking him to perform brain surgery. I watched for a while stifling my
giggles, finally he had to turn to me and ask for help. (I win)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Beth didn’t live next door for long, she confided in me one
day that she couldn’t afford the house and that she would be moving soon. She
also shared with me that even though she hadn’t been formally diagnosed that
she had some psychic gifts and she just knew that she was slowly dying. Her
breast implants were leaking silicone all throughout her body and she felt in
her heart that she should start getting her affairs in order because the end
was near. I felt for Beth and suggested that maybe she should see a doctor???
And buy a good bra…..that could be the problem. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Standing at that mailbox it dawned on me….I am Braless Beth.
OMG Eduardo probably calls me Spandex Sally. Since that day at the mailbox, I
spend my time trying to avoid Eduardo. Damn if that boy isn’t outside every
time I walk out my door. I pulled up to my apartment the other day and was on
the phone with Kelsey, she was trying to get off the phone. I told her she
needed to keep talking to me until I was safely inside my apartment. I was
desperately trying to avoid eye contact with Eduardo. Seriously Eduardo, don’t
you have somewhere that you need to be?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It has been raining all week here in Florida and that means
less time with the purple princess and more time at the mall. Yesterday I saw a
fabulous spandex leopard print jumpsuit in the window of Fredricks of Hollywood. I decided
to buy it and wear it next time I blow a fuse or need something fixed. I think
it would look great with my fuzzy stilletos . </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I called Dave and let him know that I purchased a flight for
him to come to Lauren’s graduation from the Aphasia Center. I told him that I
spent the money because I just missed him so much. Lets be real here for a
minute….I need someone to carry my luggage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-5510459303675248992015-07-22T20:53:00.000-05:002015-07-22T20:54:15.245-05:00Clearing My Head.....What a Task!<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.1" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.2" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.3" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:128;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.4" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:roman;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.5" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-format:other;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.6" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:fixed;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.7" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.8" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.9" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.10" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:128;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.11" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:roman;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.12" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-format:other;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.13" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:fixed;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.14" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.15" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.16" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.17" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.18" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.19" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.20" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.21" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.22" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, <span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.23" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">li</span>.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.24" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, div.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.25" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.26" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.27" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">unhide</span>:no;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.28" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.29" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">qformat</span>:yes;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.30" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.31" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.32" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.33" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.34" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.35" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.36" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.37" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.38" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.39" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.40" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.41" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.42" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.43" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.44" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.45" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.46" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.47" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.48" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.49" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.50" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.51" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.52" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.53" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.54" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.55" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoChpDefault</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.56" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-type:export-only;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.57" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-default-props:yes;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.58" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.59" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.60" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.61" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.62" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.63" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.64" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.65" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.66" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.67" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.68" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.69" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.70" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.71" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.72" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.73" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.74" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.75" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.76" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.77" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.78" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.79" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.80" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.81" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-header-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.82" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-footer-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.83" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Too much Time Alone To Think</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was always the type of person that would never go to the movies or a
restaurant alone. Times when I was alone (rarely) and hungry I would go to a
drive thru, park and eat in my car so people wouldn’t think I was a lonely girl
with no friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whenever I saw someone
alone I always had a whole scenario in my head that I’m sure was right on
point. For instance, an elderly man eating alone is surely newly widowed and
can’t bear to eat alone in his empty house another night. A good-looking businessman
having dinner alone without a wedding ring is obviously alone because he
cheated on his wife and she took him to the cleaners, as she should have. Am I
the only one crazy enough to think I can read a person just because they are
having a meal alone? I realize I’m a little crazy but I still continue this fun little
game in my head.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I spent the day alone at the beach. As I was setting
up my beach chair (all alone) I couldn’t help but laugh at myself while
wondering what all the groups of people thought “my story” was as I was setting
up my chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My plan was to run on the
beach as soon as I got there then read in my beach chair until it was time to
go get Lauren. I run with my swimming suit under my running clothes so I can
jump in the ocean when I finish running to cool off. I drank too much coffee on
the way to the beach and quickly realized running on the beach wouldn’t be the
brightest idea for this mom of 7 with a weak bladder. I quickly stripped down
to my “mom” tankini and took a quick dip in the ocean to cool off . Okay really
I just had to pee. I dried off and put my running clothes back on over my suit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My plan was to run the first mile then walk/run the rest of
the way. I made it to .94 before I decided I was done running and that I actually
hate everything about running. A little voice inside my head could hear Dave’s
voice saying, “Come on Punkin, you can do it, .6 more….Murphys Don’t Quit!”
Only my voice was much stronger in my head saying, “Screw you Dave…..I’m not a
freaking Murphy, I married into this name and I am stopping at .94. Then I
laughed to myself and skipped instead of ran the last .6. Despite the horrendous run, I had a nice quiet
peaceful morning and ended up walking 5 more miles. I spent the time alone with
my thoughts and was finally able to clear my head after a really rough weekend. Not only did I end up with a
clear head, I also ended up with awful chaffing on my thighs. My shorts were wet from
putting them on top of a wet suit and ….well basically my thighs are just too fat.
Whatever. I have so many other qualities; I never wanted to be a leg model
anyway.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I was walking I was thinking about life and how much of
our lives are about following your dreams and how much are about following your
circumstances. When I was a kid my dream was to own a dance studio and be a tap
dance teacher. Clearly I missed the ambition gene but a dream is a dream I
guess. My dream kind of fizzled and lost steam when my dance classes were on
Thursday night. We all know Thursdays are must see TV. I preferred skipping
dance class to watch an episode of Cheers. That dream quickly went up in smoke when I quit dance when I was 13.
I don’t remember really having many other aspirations. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walking alone on that crowded beach full of families
enjoying their vacations I wondered; How many of these people have followed
their dreams and how many have followed their circumstances. Is there a
difference?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many will look back to
this time in their lives and wish they could freeze time to this exact moment?
Watching their children build sandcastles and play in the ocean. Something so
simple, yet so completely magical, only they don’t even realize it yet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my past biggest fears was always that Lauren would
have another seizure. Up until last week she had had 5 seizures in a 2-year
period. They are super scary and I have witnessed 4 of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last week she had 6 seizures in just 3 days
time; 4 of them on Saturday. Looking back I am pretty proud of the way I
handled all of her seizures. I remained calm, had her medication at my
fingertips, and was able to take charge of her care to get her back to baseline
and back on the medications she needs despite what her doctor had wanted to
try. Obviously this little experiment was an epic fail and her new medication
was not doing the trick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thinking of
getting myself a T- Shirt that says “Seizure Slayer.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being the primary caregiver for someone with a TBI
(Traumatic Brain Injury) is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the
most rewarding thing I have ever done. Throughout this journey many obstacles
have been thrown my way. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep telling
myself; “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have dodged so many damn wrenches that I have
lost count….. Guess what?….I am becoming one bad ass wrench dodger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I received an email this week confirming Lauren’s admit date
for QLI in Omaha. She will move into her new temporary home on 8-24. I am in
the process of filling out my Apartment application and it is super scary to
again be away from my loving family for a time period that is a minimum of 3
months but could be up to 6 months or even longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The epiphany that I had today on my walk on
the beach was that last weekend was awful to say the least but it was also just more
proof that Murphys are super tough and can handle anything. Well maybe not
anything….running is the exception…running is just stupid!!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back at my beach chair I peacefully settled in with my book and watched
all the families. I fondly thought of all of our past vacations building sandcastles,
swimming and baking Shannon. Then I giggled as I thought to myself, I
wonder if these people have had enough time to figure out my story. Clearly I was alone for a
reason, I must be a dance studio owner alone on vacation celebrating another
successful dance recital. Nah…I am a weird loner with a weak bladder who has 0
friends and would prefer to read alone in a beach chair than interact with the
general public…..If only they knew!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bring on Omaha…We got this!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-90390936550679939272015-07-16T22:06:00.000-05:002015-07-16T22:12:05.296-05:00Sorry, I Don't Have Time For A Therapist .....This Is Cheaper.<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.1" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.2" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:78;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.3" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.4" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.5" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.6" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.7" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:78;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.8" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.9" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.10" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.11" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.12" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.13" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.14" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.15" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.16" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.17" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.18" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, <span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.19" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">li</span>.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.20" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, div.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.21" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.22" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.23" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">unhide</span>:no;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.24" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.25" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">qformat</span>:yes;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.26" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.27" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.28" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.29" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.30" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.31" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.32" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.33" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.34" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.35" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.36" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.37" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.38" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.39" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.40" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.41" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.42" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.43" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.44" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.45" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.46" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.47" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.48" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.49" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.50" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.51" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoChpDefault</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.52" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-type:export-only;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.53" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-default-props:yes;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.54" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.55" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.56" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.57" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.58" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.59" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.60" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.61" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.62" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.63" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.64" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.65" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.66" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.67" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.68" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.69" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.70" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.71" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.72" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.73" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.74" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.75" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.76" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.77" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-header-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.78" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-footer-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.79" style="background: yellow none repeat scroll 0% 0%;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always
been the type of mom that was great with bee stings and skinned knees. I could
make a fabulous paste with baking soda and toothpaste to put on a bee sting and
I always had a kitchen cabinet stocked full of Little Mermaid band-aids just in
case of an emergency. I remember once after one of Erin’s surgeries, at St.
Louis Childrens Hospital, she had shared a room with a kid with chronic issues.
When the doctors came in the room for a history, her mother rattled off a long
list of medications and side effects as well as past admissions. As the mother was
verbally going down the painfully long list of awful things that her daughter
had been dealing with, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t help
but feel a little guilty. I was feeling like I was carrying such a big burden
watching my toddler in pain when this mother seemed to never catch a break.
Dave and I looked at each other as we sat shocked on the other side of the
privacy curtain and mentally thanked our lucky stars that we were not “that
mother”. Our daughter was only staying because anesthesia made her throw up a
gazillion times no matter what anti nausea drugs they gave her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fast forward to present day and today was just plain shitty. Driving home from
the Aphasia Center today I looked over and saw the back of Lauren’s head. I
immediately knew something was wrong. I could tell she wasn’t just looking out
the window, her head was turned too much to the right, it was actually turned
so much it was almost facing the head rest behind her. I called her name several
times and unsuccessfully tried to nudge her head back towards the center. I was
driving at the time so it wasn’t easy. I pulled over in front of a stop sign, I
didn’t care if I was blocking traffic, I have a rental car and have no clue
where the hazards button is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Luckily a
policeman was at the stop sign going the opposite way. I rolled down the window
stuck out my arm and motioned him over. When he pulled up I quickly told him
that she was seizing and turned my attention back to her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This seizure was
different; her beautiful face was still contorted like all the seizures in the
past but the convulsions seemed less severe. I looked at the clock as soon as I
noticed her head turned, from start to finish it was only about 2 minutes. Of
her 6 seizures since the accident this was the shortest. She did foam at the
mouth a bit and her lips and area around her mouth turned a bluish color. (I
think my heart may have stopped for a bit) That was a symptom that I hadn’t
noticed happening before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
medicine to give her that I ALWAYS carry with me that will prevent her from
having seizures back to back. I asked the policeman if he had any water so I
could give her the medicine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He let me
know that they have to wait for medical professionals. I looked down, and luckily
Lauren never goes anywhere without her lemon flavored Vitamin Water. (I wasn’t
waiting) She was lethargic but responding, she was able to swallow the pill without
issue. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her to take out her
invisalign, I didn’t want her to choke on them if she had another seizure. She
was worried about finding the case before she took them out. At that point I
was pretty confident that her cognition was good. The ambulance showed up and I
started making calls to her epilepsy specialist’s office. We just weaned her
off a medication so I was kind of expecting this. As crappy as it is, it is
part of our world now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While in the back
of the ambulance they were taking her vitals and checking her blood sugar I was
rattling off her lengthy history and hospitalizations, medication lists and
past medications and past seizures etc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
it hit me, Oh my God, I AM “That Mother.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is an exclusive club that no one wants to be a part of. No amount of
Little Mermaid band-aids or baking soda paste can fix this. This is big time
boo boos and many times I would like to run away, but I can’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have to like my set of circumstances
but I do have to look for the positive because, as in everything in life, there
is always something positive. Sometimes my take away can be the simple fact
that I have mastered silent crying. Often times I can be grocery shopping or
sitting on a plane or even watching TV and slow tears are rolling down my face.
Not a soul even notices, this is something I have perfected in the last two
years. But on the flip side, I can still laugh and I laugh a hell of a lot more
than I cry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I even laughed tonight. After dinner, (2 hours post seizure) Lauren got up and started
cleaning the kitchen. I sent a pic of her loading the dishwasher in a
group text to reassure the family that she was back to her old self.
When she saw the pic (a while later), we were sitting on the couch
watching TV. She said, "Oh My God my ass is huge." then she zipped up
the bag of chocolate covered pretzels and put them in the kitchen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything
happened pretty quickly today and I am pretty proud of how I handled
everything. Unfortunately I am becoming an expert. This seizure didn’t seem as
bad as the others. Maybe it was milder, or maybe I am just getting used to
them? The frustrating part for me is getting a specialist to call me back. I
understand that they see seizures daily but come on….is it really Okay to tell
a mom, “the doctor will call you back tonight or tomorrow morning by the very
latest? Seriously?? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This isn’t the
first time I have had this issue, I even looked at switching doctors once when
a different doc was slow at returning calls. My options were finding a less
knowledgeable doctor that calls me back or going to a top rated doc that
returns calls when he gets a spare minute. Sometimes being the one in charge of
medical decisions, medications and doctor appointments is just too much
pressure. For now, I wait….and watch her like a hawk. It's 11:00 pm and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I'm still waiting for that call. </span>This is a new doctor and I have yet to get out
my bear claws, the others have seen the claws and have learned to return my
calls quickly. No worries, this one will learn as well. I will spend the night
watching Lauren sleep and carefully and meticulously, sharpening my well manicured claws.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-24182080530382070192015-07-15T20:26:00.001-05:002015-07-15T20:28:34.750-05:00 I was walking through Target this week and I had an epiphany...I know you are all dying to hear what brilliant epiphany I came up with? Okay, maybe it wasn't and actual epiphany but more like a thought. I was walking past the little girls department and the clothes were so cute ,I thought to myself that I wish that I would have had the money to buy whatever caught my eye when my girls were little. I used to get bags of hand me downs from friends and friends of friends and it was awesome but I always wished I could afford more.Then I remembered the lyrics to that Kenny Loggins song that I used to sing all the time back in the day; <br />
<br />
<i>And even though we ain't got money,<br />
I'm so in love with you, honey,<br />
And everything will bring a chain of love.</i><br />
<br />
Dave and I laugh looking back, we didn't plan all this chaos. We have heard it all, "You know what causes that?" "Maybe you should get the TV fixed?" Ever think about getting cable?" I am so thankful we didn't figure out what caused that, we didn't fix the TV and we didn't get cable. I may not have been able to afford cute Target outfits for my girls (luckily both grandmas liked to shop) but somehow we raised some pretty amazing kids.<br />
<br />
Besides, if we had money and would have started a college fund, I guarantee none of these kids would have went to college. It's Murphy's law, didn't I marry a Murphy? One of Dave's favorite things he likes to tell me is, "Ya know Col, you don't have to spend money every single day." I always laugh and say, "Don't be silly honey, of course I do. I have to make up for the '90's when I was busy spitting out your precious offspring every other year instead of shopping."<br />
<br />
Building a family is tough, I always feel like I am doing it wrong. Did I give my kids enough love, attention, time, things, nutrition, sunscreen (sorry Shannon), the list goes on and on. The short answer is probably no AND yes. Could I have done better? I'm sure I could have; could I have done worse? Most definitely.<br />
<br />
Lucky for me, I didn't know how hard of a job being a parent was going to be. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have most likely spent the 90's on three different forms of birth control as well as abstinence just to be on the safe side. I used to have a plaque hanging in my kitchen that said, "Raising kids is like being pecked by a chicken." That was my favorite quote for a while until I came across the quote, "Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jelly to a tree." I never could bring myself to hang that one on the wall. I was too busy crying!<br />
<br />
I still have two teenagers to go and I'm terrified. So far so good. These two have been through so much. It's hard enough to be a kid these days but throw in a sister with a super sad set of circumstances and a mom who isn't even in the same state and it's sink or swim. I hope and pray that I have given them enough to not only swim but to fly. Lucky for them they have an awesome dad and some pretty terrific siblings who are dealing with the same issues and sadness.<br />
<br />
For the first half of my married life I spent so much time wishing I had more. More designer clothes, a nicer car, a bigger house, a bigger paycheck, etc. Through the years things got better and I actually got all of those things that I longed for. I now have a bigger house, designer clothes, a bigger bank account etc. But the jokes on me....I always had everything I needed. It wasn't about what I didn't have it was always what I DID have. I was too stupid to see that. I had a husband who adored me and worked his ass off going to school and work so he could give me everything that I always wanted. But the thing is, I already had everything I needed. <br />
<br />
What I wouldn't give to be living back in that tiny house in Overland with my piles of laundry, dirty dishes, (no dishwasher) dirty diapers, fingerprinted walls and sticky kitchen table. Who would have thought that feeling like I was being pecked by a chicken could be so absolutely wonderful?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-18075344241891126462015-06-19T22:43:00.002-05:002015-06-19T22:51:16.804-05:00 Grief is a funny thing, it never goes away, I mean EVER. When will I feel better? Why can't I ever just be happy? These are questions that I ask myself every day. I am always incredibly thankful for what I have but at the same time I can't shake this awful grief and sadness that has me in a strangle hold. I just came home from a great family vacation in the Caribbean, what more could I want? To be honest, all I want is for Lauren to have the ability to jump up on stage and sing Karaoke with her sisters or for her to have the ability to fully enjoy vacation and bitch and moan when someone gets on her nerves (like she used to) like the rest of us did for 7 days.<br />
<br />
Dave and I took Lauren to a restaurant in Puerto Rico because she was
starving and just couldn't go to another shop until she ate. The rest of
the kids went on ahead sight seeing and Dave and I found a restaurant so
she could eat. I was feeling sorry for myself because I wanted to
explore Puerto Rico, our cruise ship was only at port for a few hours, we
were very limited on time. As we were sitting at the table Lauren
looked at us and said, "You two are so supportive, I really appreciate
you both." She gets it, she really does. Those are the "aha" moments that I
need, they give me the ability to keep pushing forward. I have to believe that she will continue to get better
and keep fighting to get her life back.<br />
<br />
But things are still hard, for instance last weekend we spent 6 hours in
a crowded airport. Lauren was tired of sitting in one place and finally
grabbed her purse and said, "I'm leaving." We had 4 comfy seats saved
together for Dave, Maggie, Lauren and myself. I knew that if we got up
and moved we would never find 4 seats together again. I had two choices,
get aggravated and treat her like a 2 year old in a crowded airport, or
somehow try and find a way for her to understand our dilemma. Dave
suggested we move to appease her and I told him to stay in his spot I
will take care of it. My first gut reaction was to get her in a less
crowded spot and scold her for being difficult. I was tired after a long
vacation with a lot of Murphys and a difficult TBI survivor who isn't
always able to go with the flow. <br />
<br />
Walking away from my spot I felt my anger and
frustration subsiding, maybe it was God reminding me of how I was lucky
to be on vacation with my daughter versus visiting her grave. How many
mothers that have lost their children would kill to be arguing with
their children in a crowded airport? Somehow after a few minutes of
walking around the airport and showing her the limited places for a
change of scenery she was able to calm down and go back to our original
seats to wait out the time until our flight would leave. <br />
<br />
I truly enjoy every minute that I get to spend with Lauren, I am well aware of what a gift her life is. For some reason her life was spared and for that I am so thankful. But what I can't get past is what was lost, I am so sad for her. Is she aware of what she used to be? I really don't even know. I see all of her friends going on with life and I wonder if she will ever really have the ability to truly love life again? Or will I? I often see girls in public places that remind me of Lauren
pre-accident. Blonde, beautiful, chic, confident and I want to scream. I
will never understand why this happened to my daughter. <br />
<br />
Life goes on and things change, my kids are all growing up and doing great things. I am so happy for all that they are and all that they do. I just wish I didn't always have such a veil of sadness over every positive thing they accomplish, that is not fair to them they deserve a happy mom.<br />
<br />
Dave and I just celebrated our 25th anniversary, who would have thought those two crazy kids would have made it? When I stood on the altar of All Souls Church 25 years ago, I never in a million years thought about what it meant to love, honor and cherish through sickness and in health for richer or for poorer etc, I think I was more worried about not tripping on my train and how my hair and make-up looked. Maybe that's what most 20 year old brides think about or maybe I was just a bit more shallow than the average bride? Regardless, we have been blessed with a happy marriage and share a mutual respect for each other.<br />
<br />
Scratch what I just said...my family just got home and Dave is crabby. Not even sure if I still like him.... Too much family togetherness at a soccer game tonight I guess? Looks like I got the better deal staying home with Lauren watching Miss Congeniality. <br />
<br />
Life isn't always easy but living is beautiful and I will be forever grateful for everything that I still have regardless of what has been lost. I am even thankful for my crab ass husband, I look forward to the future with him sitting in a lawn chair squirting neighborhood kids with a hose when they step on his grass. <br />
<br />
<br />
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-55649261260948025902015-02-25T11:57:00.002-06:002015-02-25T11:57:19.507-06:00
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
Life is messy deal with it. That is
my latest and greatest epiphany in my search for wisdom and understanding. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
Five years ago if someone would have
asked me to reflect upon my life I would have probably answered, “I am very
blessed, I love my family and feel like they are my greatest life
accomplishment. Financially we are in a good place and we have been able to put
our kids through private schools and we feel very lucky.” Although that
statement is completely true there are lots of things missing in that tidy
little “perfect” assessment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
For instance, sometimes I would like
to choke my family. Raising teenagers is the hardest thing in the world. Every
time they leave the house you hope and pray they make good decisions. The
reality is that even though they are good kids, chances are they are sitting in
someone’s basement playing beer pong every Friday night and on Saturday God
only knows what they are doing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
keep their grades up, act respectful, go to work and school and are pretty good
kids. But even pretty good kids do stupid things and have to mature the hard
way over years of stupid decisions and mistakes.(just as we did) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As parents our role is to make it as hard as
possible for them to get away with such behaviors but to also be there to pick
up the pieces when they fall. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
I look at moms with little kids and
cant help but smile and laugh to myself while remembering those days. I had
seven kids under the age of 14 and thought that was really tough. Reflecting
back I know that those days were a breeze compared to what was to come. It’s a
right of passage, all parents deal with teenagers but seven??? What in the hell
was I thinking?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
The biggest lesson I have learned is
not to sweat the small stuff. Every eye roll every shoulder shrug and every bit
of attitude I received from my oldest two kids I took as a personal attack. I
mean come on..I do so much for these ungrateful creatures and all I get in
return is bad attitude. I don’t deserve this. Why don’t they treat their father
this way? And speaking of their father, why can’t he understand how awful they
treat me. Instead he says, “Just ignore it.” IS HE KIDDING ME? He is with them
10 minutes every day, easy for him to say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
Now that I am on my last two
teenagers I actually laugh when I get eye rolls, bad attitude and even a little
back talk. I have learned to laugh and say “Honey, you are awfully sassy
today.” Why couldn’t I have learned that technique 15 years ago? I guess my
biggest lesson I took away from those awful teenage years is that I will take
eye rolls over beer pong any day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
Which brings me to the present, if
someone would ask me today to reflect on my life, I would probably say; “I am
very blessed, I love my family and feel like they are my greatest life
accomplishment. Financially we are in a good place and we have been able to put
our kids through private schools and we feel very lucky.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
So you see, as much as life has
changed it really hasn’t. Of course there are several layers that have not been
revealed in that statement. So much has changed in five years but so much has
also stayed the same. Change is constant and there is absolutely nothing that
we can do to stop it. But what we can do is focus on all the positives in life
and what we are truly thankful for.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
I don’t care who you are, you will
always have things in your life that make you sad. Sometimes it is harder to
find things to make you happy in times of despair but they are there, often
times they are in plain sight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
I remember in one of my darkest days
when my daughter was fighting for her life, her brain surgeon said to me,
“Right now we are dealing with many negatives, I am searching for the positives
to give you. They are there, but we are going to have to dig deep to find
them,” It was his way of saying how grave things were but that there was still
hope. It was the beam of light in my darkest day that I needed and I am forever
grateful for his positive attitude. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
So here is my infinite wisdom in a
nutshell. Life is messy, I don’t care who you are. Spending time looking at
others lives and wishing yours was that carefree is a waste of time. You never
know what battles they face. You have but one life, no matter how unfair your
life circumstances are or who is to blame for your set of circumstances it
doesn’t matter. Suck it up, hold your head high and enjoy your messy life
because it is brilliant and it is yours and more importantly it is still moving
and changing. The best is yet to come.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 1.5in;">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-78152920650397918322014-10-13T10:26:00.001-05:002014-10-13T10:26:56.452-05:00Motherhood...The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.1" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.2" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.3" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:128;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.4" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:roman;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.5" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-format:other;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.6" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:fixed;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.7" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.8" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span> Math";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.9" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.10" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.11" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.12" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.13" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.14" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.15" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.16" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.17" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.18" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.19" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.20" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.21" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.22" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, <span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.23" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">li</span>.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.24" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, div.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.25" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.26" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.27" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">unhide</span>:no;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.28" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.29" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">qformat</span>:yes;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.30" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.31" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.32" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.33" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.34" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.35" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.36" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.37" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.38" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.39" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.40" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.41" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.42" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.43" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.44" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.45" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.46" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.47" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.48" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.49" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.50" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.51" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.52" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.53" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.54" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.55" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoChpDefault</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.56" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-type:export-only;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.57" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-default-props:yes;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.58" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.59" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.60" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.61" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.62" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.63" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.64" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.65" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.66" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.67" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.68" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.69" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.70" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.71" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.72" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.73" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.74" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.75" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.76" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.77" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.78" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.79" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.80" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.81" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-header-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.82" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-footer-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.83" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.167" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.168" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.169" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:128;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.170" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:roman;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.171" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-format:other;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.172" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:fixed;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.173" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.174" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span> Math";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.175" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.176" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.177" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.178" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.179" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.180" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.181" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.182" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.183" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.184" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.185" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.186" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.187" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.188" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, <span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.189" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">li</span>.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.190" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, div.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.191" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.192" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.193" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">unhide</span>:no;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.194" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.195" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">qformat</span>:yes;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.196" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.197" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.198" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.199" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.200" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.201" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.202" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.203" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.204" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.205" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.206" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.207" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.208" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.209" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.210" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.211" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.212" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.213" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.214" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.215" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.216" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.217" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.218" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.219" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.220" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.221" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoChpDefault</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.222" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-type:export-only;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.223" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-default-props:yes;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.224" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.225" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.226" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.227" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.228" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.229" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.230" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.231" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.232" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.233" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.234" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.235" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.236" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.237" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.238" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.239" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.240" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.241" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.242" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.243" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.244" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.245" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.246" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.247" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-header-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.248" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-footer-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.249" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Motherhood…The most important job of all, what a gift in all
it’s glory. I have done the gamut. Teenage single mother, happily married did
it the right way, wedding first mother, stay at home mother, part time working
mother, full time working mother and finally caretaker mother. I can honestly
say each role is a gift and I still consider myself lucky.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of all my years of experience I can say I fumbled through
each role without a playbook and made many mistakes along the way. That is just
part of motherhood, no matter what you do, you will always second guess
yourself and beat yourself up for ways you think you could have done it better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For instance; as a single mother I probably could have been
more alert at 7:00 am vs laying in my bed with the covers over my head hoping
and praying that if I didn’t move my toddler would lay back down and go back to
sleep if she didn’t spot her 18 year old mother 4 feet from her crib
desperately trying to cash in on her beauty sleep. Instead I would have scooped
up that precious gift and soaked up all the morning kisses and happy smiles from
that perfect ray of sunshine regardless of the time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a newlywed mother I would have been less envious of my
friends that were graduating college and starting careers as I was knee deep in
dirty diapers, spit up, laundry and sweat pants and appreciated that I had
found my soul mate early and was truly living the dream even if that dream was
disguised as a 900 square foot house full of dirty dishes, laundry, clutter and love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a stay at home mother I would have realized that having a
kid wake up at 2:00 AM with a fever or washing ham chunks out of your toddlers
hair after her sister vomited all over her while she was sleeping was
actually<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not as tragic as I thought
because I had the privilege of staying home and not having to call a boss in
the morning to let them know I couldn’t be there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a mom that worked part time I would have realized that it
was a great opportunity to get away and that my children (contrary to what I
believed) would not self-destruct without me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a working mother I would have not felt so guilty for all
the class parties I missed that I didn’t for the older siblings. Or the lack of
time I had to help with homework , instead I would realize I was actually
teaching independence without even knowing it. Can we ever feel like we are
getting it right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And finally as a caretaker mother….wow where do I begin with
the mistakes that I feel I have made on this role. Of all my roles this one is
the scariest…. this is the one where you really just have to wing it. You can’t
just modify your upbringing like with all the other roles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The decisions you make can affect the health
and well being of your child in ways that are unfair. Is it really necessary to
make sure your daughter’s legs are shaved and eyebrows plucked and nails
painted every week? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine how stupid I felt last September when she missed a
dose of anti seizure medicine because I as her primary caretaker forgot to give
it to her before I put her to bed. The next morning she had a seizure. I
don’t think the paramedics left our house that day saying, “Wow, her nails
looked great.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess what I’m saying is being a mother is tough, I mean
really tough. But it is also wonderful and often times perfect. It's just not always easy to see how perfect it really is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When your adult daughter calls you for advice it makes you
beam with pride as if maybe they don’t feel like you spent their whole
childhood making mistake after mistake and they actually look up to you a bit
and value your opinion. When your high school aged son asks if you will sit
next to him on the couch and snuggle? Maybe you actually did something right
and raised a boy that respects women (like his father) and is never too big for
hugs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When your youngest child (who you feel you have failed the
most due to current life circumstances,) has the screen on her phone set to a
pic of the two of you instead of her friends, wow what a lucky mom to have such
a sweet kid.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I may not have been handed a perfect life (who has?) and
quite honestly often times I am consumed with grief at my current set of
circumstances. I have been given a miracle and things are slowly improving
whether I chose to see it or not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have said it before and I’ll keep saying it (until I make
myself believe it) Life is truly about perception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keeping that glass half full and staying
positive are the keys to my success. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a gloomy day and I would love to spend it in bed with
the covers over my head…. instead I am writing a blog post to talk myself into
believing maybe I actually did an OK job raising these seven wonderful kids
that God has entrusted in my care. Who am I to doubt His wisdom?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To all the moms sitting at their kitchen table sipping their coffee wishing they wouldn't have screamed at their kids this morning for not packing their backpacks last night or for forgetting their field trip forms or for the moms stuck in traffic wishing they wouldn't have been so crabby before they left the house. Lighten up, for all you do wrong today you will get a thousand more things right!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br /><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-91230357201631630352014-10-07T12:48:00.000-05:002014-10-07T12:53:45.579-05:00Birthdays Are Overrated<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Sunday October 5<sup>th</sup> was Lauren’s 27<sup>th</sup>
birthday. Some birthdays are better than others. Life is often unfair and just
plain hard. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday morning we were in Indiana for my nieces wedding. We
stayed in a hotel and Lauren slept well and started her morning in a good mood.
It was a typical morning other than being in a hotel. Her behavior was pretty
normal. We got dressed, checked out, stopped for gas and coffee and headed to
my nephew’s house 20 minutes away to pick up the rest of the Murphy group. We
were planning a big birthday breakfast for Lauren. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within a few minutes of arriving at my nephew’s house,
Lauren starting walking around in circles, similar to a dog chasing his tail. I
walked over to her and noticed her gaze was not right. I asked, “Lauren, are
you having a seizure?” Not sure why I asked her, clearly she couldn’t answer
me? She stared motionless for about a minute before the convulsions started.
The actual clonic part of the seizure lasted about 4 minutes. We called 911 and
could hear the sirens just moments after the seizure stopped. Kuddos to our
first responders for getting there so quickly. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was Lauren’s third seizure, I have witnessed all three,
Erin has been there for two and the rest of the kids as well as Dave and my
nephew had to witness this last one. Watching a person seize is very
unpleasant. It is a helpless feeling that is hard to describe. All you can do
is hope and pray that the seizure ends quickly. From what I have been told by
health professionals, seizures do not cause more damage unless they are
the kind that last over 20 minutes. In some cases patients even show signs of
improvement after a seizure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The paramedics checked her out and determined that she
seemed ok and they could transport her to the ER or we could just let her rest.
The ER would most likely just tell me to follow up with her doctor. We decided
against the hospital and let her rest a couple hours before we headed back
home. Within 2 hours of our car ride, she was singing in the car. Clearly she
was less unscathed than the rest of us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I called her doctors office bright and early Monday morning,
and again in the afternoon. I have had issues in the past with her doctor
returning calls or emails. Welcome to the world of TBI’ S and brick walls. I have
made my way through more than my fare share of brick walls along this journey. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lauren had therapy at 1:00 on Monday and I decided to bring
her even though I still hadn’t heard from her doctor. She seemed back to her
old self and I didn’t think cancelling therapy would be necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a bit of a multi tasker so I decided to
run by West County Mall while she was at therapy and exchange a dress I had
ordered online at Nordstrom for Sam’s wedding in a bigger size and a different
color. With all the comfort food I ate Sunday and Monday I should have ordered
it two sizes bigger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I walked in Nordstrom, in the words of Ms Oprah Winfrey,
I had a bit of an Aha moment. Nordstrom for me in the past was always just a
cut through store for me to get to my car. I always loved that store but the
price point was a little out of reach. I have always been a Marshalls, or
Target kind of girl. A few years ago, Lauren got me a pair of jeans from
Nordstrom for Christmas. They were too small (why is everything always too
small?) so I retuned them and got a different style and size. I remember
shopping and thinking, “wow, I love this store. Not only do they have pretty
things they actually come to the dressing room and alter them for you.” They
don’t do that at Target. A whole new word opened up for me that day. I remember
thinking how that as soon as I got my last kid through Catholic high school I
was going to become a faithful Nordstrom shopper. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday as I was in Nordstrom I literally laughed out loud
thinking how just a few years ago Nordstrom was one of the biggest goals I had
on my life plan. Could I be any more shallow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I looked at a few of the sale racks and thought to myself. “I have
absolutely no desire to wear anything in this store.” All I really want is for
my kids to be healthy. I would sell my soul to the devil and walk around
Nordstrom naked if I could have my old life back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>5 minutes into my Nordstrom trip I realized I
left my phone in the car and sprinted towards the parking lot. I was still
waiting for the doctor to return my call and I didn’t like being unreachable in
case Lauren had any issues.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had no missed calls but decided it was best for me to get
gas and head back towards therapy in case Lauren needed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never did receive a call back from her doctor on Monday. I
finally talked to someone in his office Tuesday that relayed that he would set up a
phone call meeting to discuss her seizure on Friday? What??? Friday….you have
got to be kidding me, 5 days after her seizure?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately I had to pull out my mama bear claws again and
after three more phone calls and lots of tears on my end. The doctor agreed to
call me 30 minutes later. Why do I have to cry to get the medical attention
that my daughter deserves? There has to be an easier way. Is this doctor so busy
that an 18-minute phone call (according to my call log) had to be scheduled 5
days after a 5-minute grand mal seizure?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Starting tonight, her anti seizure medicine is being
increased and I hope and pray it doesn’t turn her into a zombie. It took her over
8 weeks to adjust when it was first prescribed back in July of 2013. I guess
this is just another little bump in the road of life. We will make it through;
we always do Murphys Don’t Quit! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-7710299778302724162014-09-18T22:12:00.000-05:002014-09-18T22:13:01.952-05:00Everything Happens For A Reason<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-font-charset:78;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Everything Happens
For A Reason</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That used to be my mantra, that is, until I experienced that
awful phone call that chilly April day that changed my whole world. My whole
life I have always felt that way. Even when bad things happened to me I was
still able to see the good that came out of those life experiences. Everyone
has bad things happen to him or her that is called LIFE. Sometimes it is due to
the choices you make and other times it is due to the choices that others make.
The older you get the wiser you become.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every single person fights battles that we know nothing
about. For instance a couple of weeks ago I was grocery shopping at Publix
before I picked Lauren up at therapy. I turned down an aisle and the manager
said, “Hi, how are you today?” I responded with, “I’m great how are you?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked to the next aisle and had a tough
time holding back the tears. What was I thinking? I'm not great. This man knew nothing about my struggles this past
year and a half. All he knew was the cheery lady in aisle 4 who said she was
doing great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I stood there with my
tear stained cheeks it dawned on me, that I know nothing about his struggles. For all I know he has a spouse with cancer or a child? Or his life can
be absolutely perfect? We do not always wear our emotions on our sleeve. The
lesson here is just to be kind to everyone, as you really don’t know anyone’s
struggles. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am very grateful that Lauren is still improving and much
of her old personality continues to shine through. Although I am grateful I am
still incredibly sad. I would give anything if I could turn back time and she
would be back in her old life living in the city that she loves, with her dream
job and her dream boy. This is where I would normally insert, “Everything
Happens For A Reason.” But to that I say BULLSHIT! What reason could there be
for my beautiful headstrong daughter to have lost so much of her former self?
What reason could there be for the rest of my kids to get a part time mother? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since we have been in Florida I have had a lot of time on my
hands to reflect on my life, too much time actually. I was lucky, I found my
soul mate just shy of my 19th birthday. I could probably count on one hand how
many times that I cried in my old life, not just the tear up at a movie cry but
a gut-wrenching cry. Most girls cry over boys…Lucky for me I picked a true
gentleman and through our 26-years together we have had few fights that caused
such sadness. In a nutshell we have had a happy life. For someone who isn’t a
big crier I have sure learned how to make up for lost time. I just don’t know
how to not be sad anymore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hate it that I can’t just be happy, I grieve for my old
life every second of every day. Logically I know that Lauren is doing well and
I have so much to be thankful for. She continues to push herself on the road to
recovery. But how long is this damn road? It’s not that I mind taking care of
her because I don’t, I realize that every day is a gift. It is just so
incredibly hard for me to watch her struggle just to find a simple word. When I
ask her what her name is and she responds Oct. 5<sup>th</sup> (her birthday) my
heart breaks for her just a little bit more. I am not the first mother who has
dealt with their child getting an unfair shake in life and I certainly
won’t be the last. The bottom line is that being a mom is the toughest job in
the world. For whatever reasons this is my new destiny, I don’t have to like it
but it is what it is. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tomorrow I will wake up, put on my positive attitude and
begin a new day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since Lauren’s accident
I have always allowed myself just 20 minutes per day to feel sorry for myself.
Normally that’s an easy rule to follow when I’m at home in St. Louis. The
demanding soccer, school, cheerleading etc. schedules keep me on my toes enough
that I normally don’t even have the time to sit and think. Sitting in a beach
chair 4 hours a day while Lauren is at therapy and looking at the powerful
ocean has given me more than my allowed 20 minutes to stare into the distance
and wonder why this had to happen to my family. On the positive side, my tan is
fabulous. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Florida has been a great experience and has been really good
for Lauren. Her therapists are wonderful and have been great at pushing her to
power through even when she is frustrated. She is writing and texting for the
first time since her accident. The weather is great and it has been a positive
experience all around…Except for the lizards….I hate the lizards! How do people
live here with all these lizards?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-4836679797855241162014-08-23T00:11:00.001-05:002014-08-23T00:31:59.569-05:00First Few ICU Days<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.1" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.2" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.3" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:128;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.4" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:roman;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.5" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-format:other;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.6" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:fixed;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.7" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.8" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span> Math";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.9" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.10" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.11" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.12" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.13" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.14" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:-536870145 1107305727 0 0 415 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.15" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.16" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">panose</span>-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.17" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.18" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">charset</span>:0;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.19" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-generic-font-family:auto;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.20" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-pitch:variable;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.21" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-font-signature:-536870145 1073743103 0 0 415 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.22" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, <span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.23" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">li</span>.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.24" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>, div.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.25" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoNormal</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.26" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.27" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">unhide</span>:no;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.28" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.29" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">qformat</span>:yes;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.30" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.31" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.32" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.33" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.34" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.35" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.36" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.37" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.38" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.39" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.40" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.41" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.42" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.43" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.44" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.45" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.46" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.47" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.48" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.49" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.50" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.51" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.52" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.53" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.54" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
.<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.55" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">MsoChpDefault</span>
{<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.56" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-style-type:export-only;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.57" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-default-props:yes;
font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.58" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.59" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.60" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.61" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.62" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.63" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">ascii</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.64" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.65" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.66" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-font-family:"MS 明朝";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.67" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.68" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.69" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">fareast</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.70" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.71" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-font-family:<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.72" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cambria</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.73" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.74" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">hansi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.75" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">latin</span>;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.76" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.77" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-font-family:"Times New Roman";
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.78" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.79" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>-theme-font:minor-<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.80" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">bidi</span>;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.81" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-header-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.82" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-footer-margin:.5in;
<span aria-haspopup="true" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1" id=":z.83" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% yellow;" class="goog-spellcheck-word">mso</span>-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> Now that I have alone time for the first time in 20 years, I have time to write all the thoughts that clutter my warped little head. While I'm in Florida I decided to work on something other than just my tan. Below you will find my thoughts from those first couple of ICU days. As much as I hate to remember, it is important that I do, especially when I feel the road ahead is just too long for me to take another step, its good to look back and see how far we have come. Please excuse some of the language as I want to be true to how I actually felt.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That dreaded phone call on April 19<sup>th</sup> 2013.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I WAS SUCKER PUNCHED. I was driving down
highway 40 and listening to a promotional video newly posted on facebook on my
phone about an upcoming Club Med Fan vacation for Rick Springfield. (I know I’m
weird) My video was interrupted by a phone call that came across as Private Number. I’m
not sure what made me answer as I normally wouldn’t answer a call that was
Private but on that day, I did answer. I often wish I had never answered the
call. Logically I realize the phone call wasn’t the issue, it was the accident.
To me it all started with the call. What if I wouldn’t have answered? My
perfect world would still be in tact. But I did answer, and my perfect world
fell apart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I arrived in LA well past midnight. The flight was awful; I
couldn’t get there fast enough. We flew into Chicago first. I remember standing
at a phone charging station in Chicago surrounded by several people when I
received yet another call that was a Private Number. This time it was my
pastor, a close friend had called him and let him know about the accident. He
asked what had happened and I explained as best as I could in between sobs. I
had just found out before we boarded the plane in St. Louis that Lauren had a
portion of her brain removed. My obvious question was “will she be able to live
a normal life?” They could not give me an answer. At this point our main focus
was to try and get her severely damaged brain to stop swelling. I am sure I was
quite the sight to the other travelers sharing this phone charging station. I
believe we said a couple of prayers together over the phone. It was not a very
long conversation and he let me know that Lauren would be in his constant
prayers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We boarded the plane shortly
after that and were able to get updates via email from my oldest daughter Sam. She was in direct
contact with Lauren’s nurse. By this time word had gotten out via social media.
My facebook as well as email were beginning to blow up with messages. I read
them all but could not bring myself to respond, I was still in shock.....or was it
denial?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew how severe her injuries were after talking to the
social worker at the hospital. I was fully aware that her chances of living
were very slim. Even though I explained the severity of her injuries, I don’t
think Dave really knew how grave her condition was. On the plane I was actually
preparing for the worst. My mind was wandering and I was mentally preparing her
funeral complete with whom I should ask to be her pallbearers. Who does that? I
am still angry with myself for not staying positive. The family sitting behind
us was going to Disney Land. The kid was so excited he couldn’t stop talking
about it. Normally I would think that was really cute, that day I was less than
amused and was ready to throw the kid out the emergency exit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One we got our rental car we were headed to the hospital. We
had about a 30-minute drive. I don’t know how Dave was even able to drive
because I was struggling with the simple act of breathing. The charge nurse asked
me to call her when we arrived so she could walk us up to the unit. She
actually met us in the parking lot. I thought wow; this place really treats
their patient’s families well. I was so stupid… the reality was because Lauren was so
critical. I can’t remember the charge nurses name but I will never forget her face or her
warmth. She had a crazy Afro, I don’t even know if you could call it an Afro,
it had many different sections sticking up in every direction. What I remember
most was her kindness. (Then I remember that crazy hair. )We had to sign in at
the desk in the lobby of the “Saperstein Critical Care Tower”. I remember her
telling the guard that we were the parents of foxtrot followed by a series of
numbers. I guess Foxtrot is a better name than Jane Doe. “Is this really
happening?” My daughter is registered as a Jane Doe AKA Foxtrot? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We passed several signs on the way <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to the lobby that directed us, each time I
read the words “Critical Care Tower” I felt a little piece of my heart dying. The
charge nurse tried to make small talk the whole way to the tower, we were all eerily quiet and somber.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once we arrived to the correct building, we got on the
elevator to head up to the neuro unit. The elevator stopped on every floor. Something
about Saturday being the Sabbath.(We were at a Jewish hospital) Seriously…every
floor, I needed to get to my kid. I believe the neuro unit was on the 10<sup>th</sup>
or 11<sup>th</sup> floor. I remember stopping at every floor and thinking,
“Don’t they have a Catholic elevator?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will never forget the look of sorrow on the faces of the
staff as we walked down that hall for the first time toward Laurens room. Once we arrived in her
room there was no turning back. This could no longer be a bad dream or a sick
joke. This was real life and my girl was in trouble. Lauren was pretty much
unrecognizable. Tubes everywhere, a big plastic neck collar to make sure there
were no spine fractures, bags of fluid going in, bags of fluids going out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her nurse Bridget immediately started explaining all the
monitors and what the numbers meant, heart rate, breaths per minute, ICP (Inter
Cranial Pressure) etc. I think she was just trying to fill the time as she was
waiting for the resident on call to answer his page so he can deliver the rest
of the bad news to us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The doctor arrived shortly after we did and very somberly
and matter of factly let us know how serious her injuries were. He stated that
she had severe head trauma and “IF” she lived, we were looking at months and
months of recovery, possibly even years. He ended his flowery little speech
informing us that she was the sickest patient in the whole hospital. Well
thanks for that asshole! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While the doctor was talking, Dave felt faint and had to sit
in a chair. That was the exact moment that I saw my rock of a husband crumble.
I was helpless; there was nothing I could do for either of them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first two days were filled with nothing but grief and
despair. All I could do is pray and cry. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. I
was so nauseous. Mainly because I hadn’t eaten or slept but I couldn’t bring
myself to do anything other than cry. My private conversations with God were pretty
dark and desperate in those days. I couldn’t help shaking the feeling that
somehow I caused this? Why is it that as mothers we blame ourselves for all the
bad things that happen to our kids but don’t take credit for the good things? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lauren’s roommate Courtney arrived on that Sunday. Her first
plane was grounded due to storms in NYC. She was the breath of fresh air that
we needed. She walked in with her positive attitude and filled that dark room
with light.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lauren’s brain swelling was still a big concern. I knew that if her
pupils were “blown” that she was essentially brain dead. Due to her continued
brain swelling, this was a possibility that we had to face. They checked her
pupils on a regular basis with a little pen flashlight. Each and every time
they checked her pupils it was if my heart was being squeezed by a boa
constrictor covered in thorns. I was absolutely terrified; I wasn’t ready to
let my baby girl die. The little flashlight pen they were using had a bad connection.
They had to keep shaking it or tapping it on the palm of their hand to get it
to work. I wanted to scream, “For Gods sake, get a different fucking flashlight.”
Instead I just sat in the corner quietly, terrified of what they may find. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-83060669921532660722014-08-19T00:16:00.000-05:002014-08-19T00:22:14.145-05:00<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:Times;
panose-1:2 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:"MS 明朝";
panose-1:0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0;
mso-font-charset:128;
mso-generic-font-family:roman;
mso-font-format:other;
mso-font-pitch:fixed;
mso-font-signature:1 134676480 16 0 131072 0;}
@font-face
{font-family:Cambria;
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;
mso-font-charset:0;
mso-generic-font-family:auto;
mso-font-pitch:variable;
mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-unhide:no;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:blue;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
color:purple;
mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink;
text-decoration:underline;
text-underline:single;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
mso-default-props:yes;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"MS 明朝";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
/* List Definitions */
@list l0
{mso-list-id:973023020;
mso-list-template-ids:-553908910;}
ol
{margin-bottom:0in;}
ul
{margin-bottom:0in;}
-->
</style>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Confessions Of A
Soccer Mom Groupie.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I am shamelessly a
die hard Rick Springfield groupie. The definition of groupie; </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">noun: <b>groupie</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<ol start="1" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">a
person, especially a young woman, who regularly follows a pop music group
or other celebrity in the hope of meeting or getting to know them. </span></span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">OK so maybe I am not a textbook groupie , or am I? I'm not young.... so there! It’s hard to explain…..or maybe I should just
say instead that it’s hard to understand because
I’m not even sure that I totally get it. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Shaun Cassidy was the third and fourth grade “chosen one” in the late 70's. I never
jumped on the Cassidy bandwagon…the forever late bloomer I guess. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It all started for me when I was in 6<sup>th</sup> grade, the year
was 1981. Jessies girl started it all. Which is not my favorite Rick tune by the way as I would guess is the case in most of his faithful followers. My personal favorite is "World Start Turning" More specifically my favorite lyric is "</span></span></span></span><b><span style="font-size: small;">The times I succeeded and the times I failed, You know that no one will remember but me." </span></b>Simple but brilliant. Most people out of the Rick circle have never even heard that brilliant little song. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span>I have watched my daughters (all 6 of them) go
through the same hormone crazed obsession with “Hanson”, “NSync”, “Jonas
Brothers”, “Bieber”, and last but not least “One Direction” as I did. It’s all part of growing
up I guess. They have all outgrown it, but ironically I havent. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> When I was a kid my childhood room was covered in Teen Beat
pics of Rick all over every inch of my wall. My sister left for college and bam I
had my own room for the first time in my life.
I quickly turned it into a Rick Shrine. The poster on my door was of
Rick in a denim button down shirt sitting with his knee bent. He had on some hideous
white boots. I hated the boots but loved the poster. At 13 I made a mental note that if I ever met
Rick I would tell him how ugly those boots were. (I have met Rick several times
now) I still haven’t mentioned the boots.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> In the 80’s I played Ricks albums on my cheap record player
over and over. I was always a slob with my stuff but my albums were always put
back in the sleeve and well taken care of. I still have them all. Side note I sold all of
my husbands old Beatles albums along with the rest of his record collection in
a garage sale for $20. I’m not sure if he will ever forgive me. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Through the awkward
years of junior high, Rick was always my imaginary boyfriend, he was the best
boyfriend I have ever had. I quickly learned that kissing a poster wasn’t all
that great. (I never did kiss the poster on the door with the boots….Ewwww
total turn off. I had standards.) </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> In the height of my Rick crush years, Rick was in his 30’s.
I’m sure he loved it that a bunch of prepubescent little girls were drooling
over him singing his carefully chosen lyrics with absolutely no clue what any
of them meant. At least I didn’t….(”He
held her tighter and tighter as he danced inside her.”) What……Whoa…I had no
clue? Rick you nasty freak. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Fast forward to the internet craze. I guess it was around
1997 or 1998 and my sister in law was the first one I knew that had a pc that
was connected to the internet. I remember going to her house and typing in the
search engine (before google) Rick Springfield and whola…just like magic, 3
minutes later Rick Springfield stuff showed up. OMG I was hooked and knew that
I needed to find away to get the internet. This would be so great to keep tabs
on my old “imaginary” boyfriend. My love
and devotion never went away but it did lie dormant for years as life happened
and I became a big girl. A few months
later we got our own computer and I didn’t stalk Rick news as often as I thought
I would. I was busy raising babies. At this time I had 7 kids under age 14, I
was changing diapers for 12 years. Definitely a crazy household. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> In 1999 Rick played in St. Louis, I had just lost a bunch of
weight and was able to wear my 13 year old daughters mini skirt to the concert.
I had great 80’s scrunched hair and I just new that Rick would spot me in the
audience and realize we were destined to be imaginary soul mates. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Imagine my disappointment when I went home with no eye
contact from my dream boat. Oh well at least he still looked and sounded good,
I took a whole roll of film with my crappy point and shoot camera. He was like
a tiny spec on the photos but I knew that blurry spec was my Rick so it was all
good.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> He came to town a couple more times through those years but
I wasn’t always able to make it. One time I was out of town for a family vacation,
another time was back to school time and my kids all needed new back to school
expensive “cool” tennis shoes. I couldn’t risk my kids being shunned at school
by having cheap shoes so mommy can go visit her imaginary boyfriend. I figured
the expensive shoes would save me the expensive head shrink they would need
later because their mother is a groupie. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Fast forward a few years and I finally had my chance to meet
Rick at an intimate acoustic performance that I won on our local Radio station.
The year was 2008 and I was a hot mess. I went tanning every day for two weeks,
wore fake eyelashes and bought a new push up bra. I made posters with catchy
phrases like “This soccer mom of 7 “Is Still Crazy For You” and I have waited
30 years for “Just One Kiss.” I couldn’t wait for Rick to see how clever I was
using his song lyrics in my posters. What a weirdo I am, I’m sure Rick was really impressed
lol.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> My husband went with me and has always been a trooper when
it comes to Rick. Its’ hard to explain but my fascination and admiration is
still that of an eleven year old girl. It is still just as innocent and perfect
.I have no desire to anything with Rick except maybe go to lunch? I have always secretly loved that he is
married to a blonde girl who is 5‘1” just like me….I know, I know I have
serious issues. Rick did acknowledge my
posters that evening and I was happy that we had a little conversation about them. I was so
excited to finally get to meet Rick and actually talk to him….OMG!! I had
waited a lifetime for that moment. He was super sweet and I was so excited to
see that he treated all of his fans with such respect. Little did I know that
our next meeting would blow this one out of the water.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> At that time I had been at one of my heaviest weights and always
hated to be photographed. My picture with Rick amazingly enough is still one of
my all time favorite pictures of myself despite my weight. I think often times your inner beauty
determines your outer beauty and beauty comes from happiness and confidence. I
have determined that Rick must be my happy place because every pic I have of us
together is a good one. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX1GYGJ1Wnn-5tZJ_uZ3CgHTi394urk72lvnQHvd4iza7a13yVmCRqa8GzidzM81suOwEodkts3zWa5PVYix74iKsJ4HklcGdbnW7jhVY3waLLP4kBrK6hrcsy2wbz8AxxLfv2bBNOBJZP/s1600/207693_1022802567965_4121_n(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX1GYGJ1Wnn-5tZJ_uZ3CgHTi394urk72lvnQHvd4iza7a13yVmCRqa8GzidzM81suOwEodkts3zWa5PVYix74iKsJ4HklcGdbnW7jhVY3waLLP4kBrK6hrcsy2wbz8AxxLfv2bBNOBJZP/s1600/207693_1022802567965_4121_n(1).jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Since that time I made a point to never miss another concert
if Rick was anywhere close to St. Louis. Besides, back to school shoes are
overrated. The kids can always use duct tape to get a little more wear out of
their shoes. They should be passing them down to the younger ones anyway. Sorry kids, no new shoes this year, mommy’s
boyfriend is in town. Do you think I may have screwed up my kids a bit?? That
sounds normal doesn’t it?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> The 8X10 of Rick and I in 2008 sits on my nigh stand right
next to the 5X7 of my husband and I. It has become quite the conversation piece
when we have company.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Most people that know me know that my daughter was
critically injured in April of 2013 while jogging in LA when a car struck her
and she suffered severe head trauma. After the accident, a friend of my
husbands remembered the “conversation piece” 8 X 10 on my nightstand. She
somehow was able to get ahold of Rick’s people. I knew the night before he called that he
would be calling the next afternoon. It was crazy for me to think that my
daughter was in a coma fighting for her life and I was receiving a call from
Rick less than two weeks after her accident.
Just knowing that he cared so much about a fan in crisis brought me
great comfort. That was the first time I actually flat ironed my hair and put
on a little mascara since arriving at the hospital in LA from St. Louis.
Nothing Rick did was going to change the situation with my daughter but hearing
Rick’s voice on the phone and listening to his kind words made a difference in
my demeanor and brought hope to a near hopeless situation. He didn’t do it for
publicity he just really cares about his fans. I decided right there and then
that I would never mention those ugly boots, maybe they weren’t so bad after all.
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> We are now 16 months post accident and my daughter is still
recovering from a traumatic brain injury, 4 brain surgeries and 5 months in the
hospital and months and months of outpatient rehab later she continues to kick
butt and amaze us all. <a href="http://vimeo.com/91575493">http://vimeo.com/91575493</a>. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laurenmurphy">http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laurenmurphy</a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I was able to see Rick in March of this year at a sound
check and introduce myself as the fan from St. Louis with the injured daughter.
I started to cry when I talked to him and he looked into my eyes when we talked
and really listened, he also teared up when he spoke to me . It was a very
emotional moment and I was so thankful that I was able to let him know how much
it meant to me when he took time out of his busy day to call. This soccer mom
groupie had her “moment” with her imaginary boyfriend and all was right with
the world. Who gets to cry with their lifelong celebrity crush?…This girl, that’s
who!</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVLBpgeRmSR3IECjH4c3reV4FHx-zWsUGz3ts1HDRNq7TouVoyFKI6oKGY0SxwlwyOKAlcGgfZ4860OeWTYC80OnEnEER7nP9qKwuPhlfLA0Jj_WKffGWKK8kH3MlOtd4GrCuotbx-IOX/s1600/1175268_10202317186708687_499729927_n(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVLBpgeRmSR3IECjH4c3reV4FHx-zWsUGz3ts1HDRNq7TouVoyFKI6oKGY0SxwlwyOKAlcGgfZ4860OeWTYC80OnEnEER7nP9qKwuPhlfLA0Jj_WKffGWKK8kH3MlOtd4GrCuotbx-IOX/s1600/1175268_10202317186708687_499729927_n(1).jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NIT01NbPgJ7kncNZ0Vbn3qMJjQ55aEExPKDmu5OEnr9MagWAKMhZgfU_k_T1oarNmNIUYNS52Bm8u-VB_fmb3ovOercoBpimSqShTaNr_Ke0O1glJneY4j7N401MKPAyxGDG99VXlzME/s1600/1781292_10202317223629610_1628366159_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NIT01NbPgJ7kncNZ0Vbn3qMJjQ55aEExPKDmu5OEnr9MagWAKMhZgfU_k_T1oarNmNIUYNS52Bm8u-VB_fmb3ovOercoBpimSqShTaNr_Ke0O1glJneY4j7N401MKPAyxGDG99VXlzME/s1600/1781292_10202317223629610_1628366159_o.jpg" height="320" width="250" /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was luck enough to see him again in July and I brought
one of my other daughters to the concert and sound check. No tears this time.
He was gracious as always and even agreed to take a selfie with my daughter when she asked,
later he picked her in the crowd to sing Don’t Talk To Strangers during the
concert. </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5dlgK3RoHm884Wuv5nyndiaZXuRDe987nU_nmZYo6aUiTMFiuHF29O430Nik5XLRWy__tSJqdcIlDfIxbK_JavJVQCiTGW3GHEWH9wssQQC3SujOnpdGrcpU7FUVwfrt-9OmYSr43jNj/s1600/10533721_10203124398968489_7527300424801565531_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN5dlgK3RoHm884Wuv5nyndiaZXuRDe987nU_nmZYo6aUiTMFiuHF29O430Nik5XLRWy__tSJqdcIlDfIxbK_JavJVQCiTGW3GHEWH9wssQQC3SujOnpdGrcpU7FUVwfrt-9OmYSr43jNj/s1600/10533721_10203124398968489_7527300424801565531_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I didn’t mention to him who I was this time. There was no
need. Who cares if he remembers me? He owes me nothing. I am forever grateful
for him for giving me so much light in those dark days of April 2013….and for
teaching me how to be an excellent poster kisser in the 80's.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Rick turns 65 this week and I am thrilled that he is still performing
and making himself so available for his fans. He recently landed a role in an
upcoming Meryl Streep movie and begins filming this fall. I have told everyone
I know, like it’s a family member who just did something awesome. Well to me he
is family, part of my imaginary family. Its hard to believe the old guy is 65,
hell it’s hard to believe I am almost 45. I have been a devoted Rick fan for 34
years….34 years that is crazy. What a true gift it is to be able to meet your
childhood crush and to find out he is actually a good egg! Happy Birthday Rick,
you make 65 look pretty good. Ill see you next time you are in the Lou. I will be the tan one with the long eyelashes and perky boobs.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGaKs4opUQQ2tm5qM3PX2oPiPoaPCh_2020C_5h4eVr1wSLj06-mTVQimKqMfFLdstJztSPPxhQbcbRAherHZSTAFEzd1XwBZvnrMpdrUjStqEnLcD_48aq2-KRarzUwJjyvz-AB90RqbH/s1600/10441463_10203125701641055_5199079159003957090_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGaKs4opUQQ2tm5qM3PX2oPiPoaPCh_2020C_5h4eVr1wSLj06-mTVQimKqMfFLdstJztSPPxhQbcbRAherHZSTAFEzd1XwBZvnrMpdrUjStqEnLcD_48aq2-KRarzUwJjyvz-AB90RqbH/s1600/10441463_10203125701641055_5199079159003957090_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-84357611340654016392014-07-21T01:25:00.000-05:002014-07-21T01:29:19.337-05:00<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP1SXfehjTSqORiv2alU3GaJoMCkDjvhzeDo5h8ggFsqHlyhYQHrcY8V-EfZiD0a-AsZbElWCVVcYuttJpMGPipryBTDMvXZLj_vb41bLdD_gl2mmIeqdEgLlbrM2TJBLY7LGz92jPcJcP/s1600/All+Souls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP1SXfehjTSqORiv2alU3GaJoMCkDjvhzeDo5h8ggFsqHlyhYQHrcY8V-EfZiD0a-AsZbElWCVVcYuttJpMGPipryBTDMvXZLj_vb41bLdD_gl2mmIeqdEgLlbrM2TJBLY7LGz92jPcJcP/s1600/All+Souls.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">Why I Love Organized Religion!</span></h2>
<br />
I know its not trendy to say those five words in an age where spirituality is perceived as good and religion seems to always gets a bad rap. This blog post is not meant to offend anyone it is merely a way for me to explain a beautiful moment I felt this weekend visiting my childhood church.<br />
<br />
<br />
I went back to my childhood church for a funeral. Walking through those familiar heavy doors brought back a flood of memories. This is the same church where I made all of my sacraments. I was baptized on that altar, I made my first confession as part of the very first class to have face to face confession (how scary) (and I actually lived to tell about it. )I made my first communion there.<br />
<br />
I had so many memories walking down that 90 foot aisle in one of the most beautiful churches in St. Louis.<br />
<br />
The funeral procession of my father down that aisle was sad and beautiful at the same time. I remember walking up that long aisle huddled with my family looking at a packed church full of crying onlookers and I could feel the love and support through my grief. Two weeks later I walked down that same aisle to marry the love of my life.<br />
<br />
In my twenties I never thought too much about religion. Actually, if anyone would have asked me my beliefs at the time I would have probably said that I had my first couple of kids baptized mainly because its just what you are supposed to do. I didn't attend mass on a regular basis and honestly I was pretty pissed at God for letting my dad die of a massive heart attack two weeks before my wedding.<br />
<br />
I guess the foundation was always there due to the years of "brainwashing" otherwise known as Catholic education. I was more spiritual and didn't really think too much of organized religion. Besides, I had little kids and who wants to get up early on a Sunday?<br />
<br />
I'm not really sure when the change occurred but I am so thankful it did. Sitting in that old church that was such a big part of my life I felt overwhelmed. Sitting next to my daughter who had just cheated death, (who was also baptized on that altar) made me feel like I truly had come home. I know its just a building but to me it is so much more. Had it not been for that "foundation" also known as "brainwashing" I received as a child I don't know that I could have had the strength as an adult to endure the pain of this last year.<br />
<br />
That big beautiful church is one of the main forces that got me to where I am today. With that said, my parents are the ones that brought me through those double doors of that church and made the financial commitment and sacrifice, for that I am forever grateful. Something can be said about traditions and religion. Sure you can sit, kneel, stand, and recite prayers on autopilot and feel nothing. As easy as you can do that, you can also sit, kneel, stand and recite prayers from the heart. It's your choice.<br />
<br />
My darkest days are those early days sitting in that blue vinyl recliner in Lauren's ICU room. I listened to the beeping machines and the sounds of the ventilator pushing air though my precious daughters fragile lungs artificially keeping her alive. In those days I am most thankful for my faith going into autopilot and those prayers that I recited so many times with no emotion or feeling when I was a kid, were now recited with such desperation and love and meaning.<br />
<br />
In second grade at Catholic school, you learn of Jesus performing his first Miracle by turning water into wine. The concept of miracles was always there but I never realized the importance of miracles until I needed one so desperately in those dark days in April of 2013. Not everyone receives their miracle and that is a fact that I don't take lightly.<br />
<br />
Lauren's prognosis was not good, the staff at the hospital all looked at me with kindness in their eyes but many of them also looked at me as if our situation was hopeless. So many little miracles occurred at that time that are too many to list, before Lauren's critical status changed, the change also slowly occurred in many of the medical professionals. At one point doctors had told me that they could keep her alive artificially long enough to fly her siblings out to say goodbye. Eventually what originally seemed so hopeless to the professionals was beginning to look like a glimmer of hope.<br />
<br />
I can not even begin to explain the feeling of Gods presence that I felt but I know in my heart that it was real. My best friend was with me in those early days and she recently confided in me that she had told her husband on the phone that she had no idea how I was even able to hold my head up and stand upright due to Lauren's grave condition. The answer to that is simple...It was not me who was holding my head up, it was God. For the first time in my life I knew what I had always questioned was indeed REAL. I am so thankful that "organized religion" gave me such a gift. Without that foundation I may not have noticed that beautiful moment.<br />
<br />
Going back to my old church was a full circle moment for me. After the funeral there was a luncheon in the church basement. Before I left I snuck upstairs so I could have a quiet moment in that big empty beautiful church and walk up that long aisle just one more time. I needed to say a big Thank You. Without the gift of organized religion I may have not had the courage to ask for that miracle and plead with the medical staff to not give up on my girl. For that I am truly grateful.<br />
<br />
I would love to say that my faith is always that strong but even now I
still struggle. Its easy to get caught up in the "Why did this happen
to my daughter?" For now I am thankful for my Aha moment at All Souls Church. Tomorrow is a new day and I will continue to hold my head high (with help) and put one foot in front of the other.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"PERHAPS OUR EYES NEED TO BE WASHED BY OUR TEARS ONCE IN A WHILE, SO THAT WE CAN SEE LIFE WITH A CLEARER VIEW AGAIN"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-62261875230369462692014-04-17T02:40:00.000-05:002014-04-17T02:40:12.408-05:00I have had trouble sleeping all week. Normally I could fall asleep on the kitchen table. This week has been different. I guess its because I only have a few days left to reminisce about what I was doing last year at this time. Come April 19th my last year memories will all be post accident. It's funny how your life can be separated in time frames, kind of like, old testament vs new testament. For me its like carefree vs the weight of the world. Only I never realized I was carefree.<br />
<br />
Last year at this time I was too busy with things that I thought were important to really stop and look at what really was. I stayed home with my kids through most of my adult life, only finding a job when Maggie was in pre school. Imagine my surprise when an actual career path landed in my lap in Nov of 2008. I was really proud of what I accomplished in a few years. I was doing a job that I loved and was promoted twice. The best part was that I knew my husband and kids (the ones that were old enough to "get it") were proud of me.<br />
<br />
Being a teenage mom who didn't even finish high school I didn't have a lot of moments where I felt pride in myself other than what I accomplished with my family, and truth be told, most of that credit goes to Dave. He is really the brain power in this crazy Murphy family. He is what makes me strive to be a better person. Ask anyone who knows him, he is the nicest guy on the planet. (I sure hope he doesn't read this)<br />
<br />
I am so scared to hit this one year mark as it ends the pre accident phase of my life. No more...this time last year I bought three new dresses on sale at Nordstrom Rack and found perfect wedges to match. Funny how I though finding perfect wedges was so awesome a year ago.<br />
<br />
I am a work in progress, I am trying so desperately to give my three youngest kids still at home a mom who isn't always distracted with worry and sadness. My husband started a new job that is less stressful and I am often so stressed I don't even ask how his day went because I don't even want to replay how bad mine was.<br />
<br />
Last week I posted a video of Lauren's road to recovery. It has almost 10,000 views. http://vimeo.com/91575493 500 of those views were probably me. I shot all the footage and put the video together but each time I watch it I am still in disbelief. It is good for me to see that I did receive a miracle, no question about it, but watching that video also showed me that Lauren isn't the only miracle in my family. My other six kids were behind her every step of the way cheering her on and on and on. I can't even begin to describe the pride I feel for each and every one of them.<br />
<br />
That video is a great reminder of what can happen in a year, my hope is that next year at this time we are not still battling with such a language barrier with Lauren. I keep reminding myself that had they not removed the portion of her brain that keeps her from finding the correct words, she would not have survived the accident. I just hate to see her struggle so much. Just the other day she got mad at me and called me an asshole. Not wanting to miss a teaching opportunity I explained to her that I was not an asshole and the correct word she was looking for was actually bitch. "I am a bitch." Next time she gets mad at me I'll let you know if she calls me the correct bad word. No worries, she gets mad at me a lot. As do the rest of the Murphy kids only they are not allowed to call me a "bitch"..... or tweet that I'm a "bitch". Just ask Shannon, that little tweet cost her her phone for about a month back in 2010. Or Kelsey butt dialing me and telling a car full of her friends what a "bitch" I am. They are both so smart!!<br />
<br />
Our family was always close nit but now they are inseparable. Even Kelsey and Shannon....I know, I know, miracles are everywhere. Dave and I are different now. Still good but different. It's hard to make time for your spouse when you have a child in such great need of most of your time and more importantly your energy. We will get back our normal "us" I'm sure. He is the only person on this earth that can always make me feel like everything will be Okay. Its incredibly corny but I truly believe God had a hand in us finding each other. I also feel that Lauren was born to do great things and she will find her voice again.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Every day Lauren continues to amaze us all. I am having more days where I feel like I am the luckiest mom in the world...again another little miracle. About a year ago and even 6 months or even 3 months ago I didn't feel so lucky. I have witnessed the best in people over the past year. The amount of love and kindness I have received from friends, family and more importantly strangers is indescribable. I opened the box of cards and letters today to add a few more that came this week and it is crazy to look at all the love in that huge, darling hat box I keep them in. For some reason my daughter has touched so many people with her story. It is so great to hear how someones faith has been restored largely in part to Lauren's recovery. Not many people can be lucky enough to bring others closer to God, especially when often times I personally feel so very far away.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Recently I was at a family friends wedding and the priest talked a lot about destiny. How even when this couple was young they were each others destiny and they didn't even know it. As happy as I was for the couple I couldn't stop the flood of tears as I thought, "What about my kids destiny?" I pictured her with her bouncy strawberry blond curls playing with her barbies and roller skating in my kitchen. Was it really her destiny to walk in front of a car and lose her independence? I felt an eerie calmness in the church that day and it was almost as if God was saying to me, "Remember when you had Lauren and you thought you would never be a bride?" So many thoughts were flooded in my head, I do remember, I never regretted my choice to keep Lauren vs adoption but I did feel I ruined my chances of finding my prince charming and having my big wedding. What I didn't know was that my destiny was actually so much better. Not only would I get my prince charming (and eventually my big wedding) just 11 months after Lauren was born but he would come complete with a beautiful big sister for Lauren. In moments like that I feel that someday I will look back on this year and say, "Remember when sometimes I thought Lauren would never live independently again?" I can't wait until the day I can look back at how silly I was to feel that way.<br />
<br />
I would be lying if I told you I am always confident in God's plan because often times it leaves me scratching my head. What in the world could his plan be for me? Why did my dad suddenly die of a massive heart attack two weeks before my wedding?<br />
<br />
I came to terms with that years ago after my bitter "I'm mad at God stage." A couple years after my dad died I realized that I had an awesome dad for 20 years and for that I'm lucky, there are a lot of dead beat dads in this world and I was lucky to have a great one even if only for a short while. I don't have time for such a long "I'm mad at God stage." I need Him now more than ever and my kids need to see that faith and love is what gets you through tough times.<br />
<br />
Next year is a new beginning, Erin graduates in a few weeks and she will be the cutest little registered nurse I have ever seen. Sam will marry the love of her life and he is awesome! I still love Dave with my heart and soul and things will continue to go upwards. I may even stop by Nordstrom Rack this week just to take a quick peek at their wedges...what could it hurt? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7817320419591746825.post-82727581849953844172014-03-25T12:54:00.001-05:002014-03-25T13:00:30.304-05:00Lauren's accident was 11 months ago....11 months, that is absolutely crazy. So much has changed in 11 months. Some have been good while others not so good. I would love to say I am past being sad but honestly that is my biggest stumbling block to date. Even when I'm happy....I'm still incredibly sad. It is as if there is a constant veil of sadness even through laughter and good times. But there is laughter and good times, that is saying something. 11 months ago, heck 10, 9 and even 8 months ago there was no laughter and good times, none, zero!!<br />
<br />
My family survived 4 months without me, I thought I was irreplaceable?? Well now that enough time has passed I'm learning their survival skills are a bit lacking. For instance Shannon shared with me that Kelsey basically did what she wanted all summer and dad had absolutely no clue where she went or what time she came home. Why did Shannon share this information? Well not because she was a concerned big sister but she felt slighted that this was her summer to fly free, not Kelsey's she was still in high school. After completing your first year of college it is the right of passage in the Murphy Mansion that you get to stay out later and not have your parents breathing down your neck.<br />
<br />
I have preached from day one that Lauren needs normalcy in order to return to an independent life. What exactly is normalcy? Well the Murphy definition is not exactly textbook "Normal." Is it normal to pluck ones eyebrows and apply lip gloss while someone is in a coma? Is it normal to apply fresh lipstick before every PT session to help with balance? We may not be a conventional bunch but it works for us. We have learned so much about the power of prayer, family and love and devotion over this journey.<br />
<br />
As a mother I often stand back in awe at the way my kids have carried themselves throughout this family crisis.Each and every one of them is so amazingly strong and unique. In the first 6-8 weeks after Lauren's accident I was not emotionally strong enough to be present for my other 6 kids or even my husband for that matter. Never in million years would I have thought I was the type to go A wall on my family...but I did. I'm not proud of that fact but its true.<br />
<br />
Things are much easier now but still tough at the same time. My physical exhaustion is now gone. Lauren is capable of bathing, dressing and feeding herself these days but she is still far from total independence. Most days I am amazed at her determination and spirit. Some days I am quite frankly just sad. These sad days normally follow some of the best days. Days where she makes great progress I am flying high, why can't I just be thankful for those days vs analyzing the parts of those days that still showed that my precious daughter still has a very injured brain. Why can't I focus on the fact that she still has her incredible fashion sense when we go shopping vs the fact that at the end of the trip she calls me "Jason." They removed the portion of her brain that controls the ability to understand as well as speak language. The fact that she can say anything that makes sense is a miracle! The right side of her brain is slowly making up for what she lost. God is good. My faith is in tact and I have no other choice but to believe things will continue to improve.<br />
<br />
As much as I love the fact that she loves to cuddle and I get so many great hugs I long for the day I can take her to the airport with her two suitcases just like I did a few years back when she spread her wings for a life in NYC. Its funny that my goal is to kick her out of the nest but as much as I want to smother her and keep her safe, I know she will never truly be happy here.<br />
<br />
Dave and I had all these kids on blind faith. We really couldn't afford having babies every other year but we had faith in God that things would work out. We lived on buttered noodles and when we splurged and got McDonald's, the kids always had to share a soda and one large fry. The positive in that is that they learned to share or an even better lesson was they learned how to outsmart each other on who got the most fries. Survival skills at their finest.<br />
<br />
I remember once when Shannon was around 8, one of her soccer friends was with us and we were ordering food at McDonald's. Her friend ordered a happy meal with a vanilla shake, I could tell by the look on Shannon's face she was petrified I would tell her friend that Murphy's don't order shakes. Instead I turned to Shannon and asked her if she would like a shake too? Chocolate or Vanilla? I'll never forget the look of relief on that cute little freckled face. I never wanted my kids to feel embarrassed that we couldn't afford things their friends had. That was one of the few moments as a parent where I felt I really got it right. (She probably doesn't even remember that stellar parenting move)<br />
<br />
Now my new struggle is my younger kids trying to keeping a sense of normalcy. I can't go to a soccer game when its cold because Lauren wont do well. Having sleep overs isn't the best idea because Lauren wakes up so early an I don't want to listen to giggling girls all night.<br />
<br />
I guess what I'm trying to say is that in life there are always roadblocks, learning to navigate around them is the key to success. Life is what you make it. Some days I would love to spend the day in my bed crying for what used to be. Who does that help? Every person on this planet is fighting some type of battle. The biggest lesson I have learned is that things are not always what they appear. People tend to reveal only what they want you to see. Sometimes the happiest people are fighting the biggest battles. I choose to be one of those happy people...OK I just wrote a whole post on how unhappy I am....SO IRONIC! OK so starting today that is me! HA!<br />
<br />
And no worries Kelsey, I will be home all summer this year. I will be on you like flies on sh&%!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Colleen murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05858204854681148758noreply@blogger.com1