Erin is leaving for Arkansas tomorrow for a soccer tournament. Ryan has already started the happy dance. I went to the mall after work trying to find an outfit that would make my size 12 body look like a 2. Not too much luck on that little task. Erin called wondering where I was and more importantly where my checkbook was, She wanted to pick up a birthday gift for her best friend before she headed out of town. She had soccer practice at 4:30 and she didn't have time to cash her paycheck before practice. I told her to meet me at the mall, I could use her opinion and I would give her a check. It probably wasn't the best idea to invite my size zero daughter to help me pick out a fat dress. I made her promise that she wouldn't make gag noises in the dressing room when I took off my clothes like Lauren usually does. The lady in the dressing room next to us farted really loud and instead of laughing quietly to herself like most normal people would do, Erin screamed, "That was not me!!!!" She then started busting out laughing. I thought I was going to pee in my pants. What an idiot she is. I quickly gave Erin a check and told her to leave, I could take it from there. I went by the men's department to pick up a couple new dress shirts and ties for Dave. He likes conservative style clothes, I bought him a striped shirt to wear to his 20th class reunion last year and I ended up giving it to Lauren's boyfriend Mike because Dave wouldn't wear it. Tonight I bought him a light blue shirt and a plum colored shirt. Maggie had a First Communion retreat mass tonight. I figured since this is my 7th child going through Catholic school I have this sacrament down. I sent her on a date with her dad to church so I could hit the mall. When they got home, I told Dave I got him two new shirts to wear for this weekend. He said "I sure hope they are white, I only like white shirts." I said "Yeah and I only like husband's that know how to cook and don't ignore their wives when the soccer channel is on, now shut up and try on your new shirts. That blue one really brings out my eyes."