I have a bad habit of not paying enough attention to my kids in the morning when I am in a hurry to get out the door. If they aren't fighting or asking for anything, I trust that they are ready for school. Don't get me wrong, we pass each other several times sharing a sink or a mirror or a hairbrush etc, etc. One of my many pet peeves with my only son is that he spends 30 seconds getting ready and falls back asleep on the couch. Today was no exception, when carpool came Ryan got up and walked past me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that his shirt was a wrinkled mess and his hair was sticking up. I said "Ryan, your shirt is wrinkled and you didn't wet down your hair." He said, "I'm fine mom, I gotta go." I got home from work early today before the kids got home. Ryan walked in and as soon as I saw him I was horrified. That wrinkled shirt that I caught a glimpse of out of the corner of my eye this morning was not only a wrinkled mess but it was absolutely filthy. I said "Oh my God, was that shirt dirty when you put it on?" He said, "umm, I didn't have time to go down stairs and get a clean one this morning." Oh why oh why didn't I buy him a shock collar for Christmas instead of a unicycle? I said "you slept on the couch for thirty minutes this morning and you didn't have time to get a clean shirt, wet down your hair or tie your shoes?" He said "no and I didn't have any money left on my lunch card either, I forgot to give you the note yesterday, it was Papa Johns day and all they gave me was a cheese sandwich and a white milk because my lunch card had a zero balance." Oh that is fabulous, not only is my kid the smelly dirty kid, he is the "poor, hungry" smelly dirty kid. I told him that tomorrow he is going to school with a fifty dollar check for his lunch card and he is going to have the whitest crispest shirt in fourth grade. He better hope that he doesn't go back to sleep on the couch tomorrow morning. He might just accidentally get hit in the head with a skillet if he does!!!