I had a crazy weekend. Friday my best friend from grade school had a 40th birthday party. I couldn't eat because I am still on my crazy diet and I drank water all night. At one point my husband disappeared for about an hour. I told my friends that the last time he did that to me was New Years Eve about 15 years ago. We went to a New Years Eve party at the Knights OF Columbus Hall a few blocks from our house. He disappeared for about 30 minutes, when he came back he told me that he ran home to poop. So of course my first thought Friday was, "this bar is 40 minutes from our home, I may be here all night!! He finally came back to the table, he had been in another part of the bar listening to the band. He loves live bands, of course I find them annoying and loud. We have so much in common. The next morning we had a garage sale so we had to get up at the crack of dawn to move cars and get everything organized. Kelsey spent the night with a friend so she could go to the home opener for our new Women's Professional Soccer Team. She got to go on the field and walk with the players during the opening ceremony, she was in heaven. We had another 40th birthday party on Saturday for one of my close friends. Again, food was off limits so I drank my water last night and watched everyone else eat drink and be merry. My husband who never drinks, drank enough for both of us. We didn't get home until after 1:00, I am getting way too old for that. Sam was bringing her new boyfriend over for breakfast. I always make a big breakfast and we figured it would be a good time for him to meet everybody. Everyone usually stays home in the morning if they know food is involved. We cleaned the house and warned everyone to be on their best behavior and to act like a normal family. Mike is still getting over watching the way we "toss" bacon across the table when someone can't reach it. I got up at 8:00 to start cooking, I knew Dave would not be perky this morning so I was pretty much on my own. Maggie started calling Sam to see where she was around 9:00. She finally called back and said she was on her way. A few minutes later the front door opened and Mike and Lauren walked in, Lauren went straight to the powder room to throw up. She was at a bachelorette party the night before. What an impression we were going to make with this new kid. Hung over father, drunk sister, what a classy family we are. Everyone finally arrived and breakfast was good. Sam mentioned that she also went to the St Louis Athletica game last night. I said, "Did you see Kelsey, she was supposed to be carrying a flag on the field?" She said, No, which flag was she holding??" "Umm, the flag attached to the kid that looked exactly like your sister, strawberry blond hair, blue eyes....." She doesn't think I'm funny. There was a lull in the conversation which Mike found to be the perfect time to notice and to share with everyone that Lauren had puke in her hair. Soon after, Dave spotted a turtle in the back yard and Ryan and Maggie brought it in the house. Doesn't everyone have drunk relatives as well as reptiles crawling around the living room??? I wonder if Sam's new boyfriend is looking for a new girlfriend yet?