Report cards came out yesterday. I asked my co worker to say a little prayer for Ryan because I was going to kill him. I knew that when the crowned prince started school it would be tough to get the teachers to truly see how perfect my only son actually was. Now that he is in fifth grade I have come to the realization that only his mother adores him and even that is a bit questionable lately. I called Dave and told him that his perfect son got his report card and the teacher comments didn't exactly say, "Ryan is an absolute joy to have in class."

When Ryan got home from school I said "Ry, did you see the comments on your report card from your teachers?" He said "yes, one of them was good." I explained that a comment that says "Ryan is showing improvement in music class" is actually a nice way of saying, "your son normally acts like a complete idiot but lately I have been able to tolerate him." The other two teachers were letting me know that he talks too much and likes to clown around, and comes to class unprepared. I knew I should have went with my gut an got him that shock collar for Christmas last year. I am thinking his teachers may take up a collection so we can get him one this year. Maybe I can bungee cord him to his desk like I used to bungee the dog in his crate.