My broken defrosters turned into a broken heater core. Apparently the windshield was covered with antifreeze. No wonder we couldn't see. 1000.00 later, the jeep is road ready again. Shannon decided to brilliantly tweet what a bitch her mother is......so not cool. I guess she thinks a good mom would bake her cookies for flunking religion. Of course this bitch is not only a bitch but she is a smart, sneaky bitch and found out. I am now the proud new owner of an I phone. I thought about putting a bullet in it like the dad on UTube but I don't own a gun. She has brought her gade up to a C....but the twitter problem has kept her out of my good graces. We are going prom dress shopping soon so I am sure she will be killing me with kindness. I am the bank.

We haven't seen Kelsey much lately. It is now high school soccer season, combined with her social life and the fact that she can drive, Kelsey sightings have been scarce. Shannon told me that she was in a friends car behind her on the highway once and she almost hit every car on the highway. Her guardian angel must be exhausted.

Dave and I went to the mayors charity ball on Saturday. In typical quirky Dave fashion he didn't give me much notice. He never received actual tickets to attend so he wasn't sure the chairman received all his information. He has issues with trusting people will follow through. Remember this is the man who refuses to go through a drive thru......he doesn't trust the speaker. He likes to see the fast food employee touch the buttons.

My roots are a little dark and I had nothing to wear. I hate wearing panty hose and my legs are really white. Maggie had a game at 2:00. We dropped her off at 1:30, we went to Walgreens so I could get stuff to do my nails and I picked up a pair of panty hose. I haven't worn panty hose in years. My legs are usually tan. I bought size Q.......holy crap. Queen, when did that happen? Shannon was with us so she weaseled some beauty products as well as candy out of us. $60 later,we headed back to the game. I gave myself a quick manicure during the game.

When we got home I had about an hour to turn into Cinderella. My red roots were bothering this blonde momma but there was no time to foil my hair during a soccer game. I have a red dress that luckily fits this "Queen.". I was standing in front of the mirror putting me earrings on when the village idiot came up behind me and fixed my bra strap that was peeking out the side of my dress. The way the dress is made has thick gathers in the bust line of the dress. I told Dave, I don't really have a bra that doesn't show a little. I may not wear one. Dave looked at me and said "punkin do you really think you still have the firmness to get away with that?"

He still has a heel mark from my shoe in his forehead.

Erin made it back to Mobile after her Mardi Gras trip to New Orleans. I saw several pics of her on Facebook with large cups of kool aid looking like she was having one heck of a time......not sure if ice and a straw were the only other ingredient in her kool aid?

She called me when she got back and told me her head really hurt and she had been crying the night before. She is only three weeks out from having surgery on her skull and apparently going to New Orleans having handfulls of beads chucked at her head all weekend wasn't the smartest move. She didn't get a whole lot of sympathy from me.

She was cleared to resume soccer after 3 weeks. She was unable to run due to the pain. From what we can figure, whenever she does something that causes increased blood flow to her scalp, it causes unbearable pain. She can feel her pulse in her scalp when she runs. Sadly we have decided it would be best for her to listen to her body and take the spring season off.

Shannon has hit a new low and had a 19% in her marriage and commitments religion class. Dave told her to please, please bring her grade up because she is causing problems in his marriage and commitment because his wife is a raging lunatic because her daughter is flunking religion. She texted me today to let me know she has brought it up to a 55%. I'm thinking about having a pizza party to celebrate......maybe buy her some new clothes? She keeps asking to go prom dress shopping.......Hellooooooo a 55% does not even give cinderella a glass slipper much less a new dress.

Kelsey and I took a road trip to Cincinnati this weekend for soccer. It was nice to get away but there is no place like home. I cheated on my diet a tad. Next to the soccer fields was a Mello Mushroom, Erin took us there in Alabama, I am not much of a pizza fan but Mello Mushroom pizza is awesome. I decided that August is a long way to wait until I am back in Alabama. I was tired of eating powdered food anyway.

Erin called me today and asked if Kelsey was having boy troubles? I said, "not that I know of why?" She said, "oh Kelsey's tweets on Twitter are usually sad because of some boy or another and Shannon's tweets are usually about how much she hates her parents especially you." Fabulous...I am so in tuned to my girls.

Lauren has another date with a new guy. She stalked him on facebook and took a pic of the computer screen and texted it to me so I could see what he looked like. The creepy stalker girl in the reflection taking a picture of the picture was hilarious. She didn't even notice her reflection in the picture when she sent it to me. Her job is going well and she is loving NYC. She's got guts...No way could I leave my comfort zone.

Shannon's defrosters quit working....I drove her car to QT tonight to pick up Kelsey. I drove the whole way by memory, defrosters are kind of important. I guess Shannon was too busy studying to notice her defrosters were broken?

Woo Hoo Kelsey got her license today. She flunked on her birthday but passed barely today. She got a 73....3 points away from failing. We told her it didn't matter, whether she got a 73 or a 93 she still gets to carry a valid drivers license. I called State Farm immediately after I hung up with Kelsey. We have 4 drivers now with just 2 cars. They weren't sure which car to put Kelsey on. She asked if she could do a little research and call me back. I pictured her hanging up and popping a bottle of champagne....surely the whole office will be getting a raise now that the Murphy's are adding another new driver. I wonder if they made a spread sheet to pass around to place a bet on how long it will take Kelsey to crash in to something? She called me back to tell me my new rate....let's just say the insurance on the jeep alone is similar to what the actual car payment was. Funny...I paid the jeep off today! Even though Erin is listed as a part time out of state driver, she is listed on my car. Shannon is listed on the jeep and we will not qualify for the Steer Clear driving discount due to Shannon's accident. Apparently the discount isn't per kid it is per car. When I got off the phone with State Farm, I texted Erin and Shannon and recommended that if they ever decide to have children it would be best to space them at least 6 years apart so they can afford their car insurance. I then said.....scratch that, become lesbians and get a cat.

Maggie has been on house lock down due to her lack of effort in school. She has worked really hard these last couple of weeks. I checked one of her English papers and changed all of her answers. Imagine my surprise when she got a 50%. She couldn't wait to tell me when she got home from school.....again, I am just here to be a trophy wife. This Seven kids thing just happened. So now it may take a little while longer for her English grade to go up.....5th grade is hard.

The girls had the father daughter banquet tonight. The picture above is of sweet little Shannon completely annoyed with Kelsey during the photo shoot.The girls looked really pretty and their date was gorgeous!

Sent from my iPad