I can't believe it is the end of 2009 already. It has been a great year, my biggest accomplishment was my weight loss. I worked my butt off literally. I have to say my weight is up a bit (10 awful lbs) I decided to go crazy and start fresh on Jan 1st. I have enjoyed this last week of french fries and cupcakes.

Some friends and I are starting a 12 week training program for a half marathon in April. 2010 will be the year I exercise and tone this 40 year old body. I am excited to see what the year will bring, little Erin/Sybil will graduate and go off to college. We sill haven't decided where, but we know it will be somewhere not in the state of MO. One of my friends asked, what will you do with your blog without daily Erin/Sybil material. With that her husband quickly responded, "poor Dave." Yup poor Dave is right, he always supplies me with plenty of material.

2010 will also be the year of our twentieth wedding anniversary. I know I make fun of Dave frequently but can't imagine my life with a man that could go to the grocery store without help, could go through a drive thru, could order a pizza by himself or match his own clothes. I am glad I picked the village idiot before someone else grabbed him. He is quite the catch. I hope our next twenty years are slightly less, OK extremely less "fruitful" and just as entertaining as the first twenty.

It is crazy to imagine that in 2020 we will almost be empty nesters. Maggie will be a senior in high school picking out a college just like Erin/Sybil. Sam will be a successful accountant still trying to figure out the meaning of life, Lauren and Mike will be married and Mike will be wondering why he didn't heed our warnings, Erin will be in a mental institution getting help for her personality disorder that her mother caused by calling her Sybil, Kelsey will be playing soccer somewhere pretending like she is an only child, Shannon will be laying on a couch somewhere in a trailer park watching TV, and Ryan will be incarcerated. Or maybe they will all be happy successful well rounded members of society. Yeah Right!!!

Christmas Eve I worked until 2:00 while Dave was in charge at home. I had two new DVR's installed the week before and the one in my bedroom wasn't working. They sent out a technician to fix the problem on Christmas Eve. Erin decided to give the guy an early Christmas present when she came downstairs wearing nothing but leggings a bra and a Christmas smile. She ran up the stairs and asked why no one bothered telling her that the cable guy was still there. Great Erin, now I will never get my DVR fixed, I guess I will be setting an extra plate for Christmas dinner.

Lauren got home from work right before we left for Christmas mass. She was planning on going to mass in the morning and was exhausted after working eight hours. We talked her into just going with us. She said " fine but don't expect me to stay awake." She went downstairs to change and came up in a form fighting blue dress and go go boots." I think she was bringing baby Jesus the gift of cleavage. I decided to pick my battles and take a deep breath and sit all the way at the other end of the pew so no one thought the kid with her boobs hanging out belonged to me. I suggested she sit on the other side of the cable guy who was next to Erin.

The kids had a nice Christmas despite Dave AKA village idiot Santa wrapping his only son's gifts in pastel pink and green paper. Smart Santa AKA me used dark green and red paper for the gifts that I wrapped. Despite the pink paper, everyone had a nice Christmas. Kelsey got a cell phone so all is finally right with the world. She can finish her eighth grade year no longer in shame as she was the only kid in the world without a phone.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day our land line phone was out. Erin's friend the cable guy hooked something up wrong and our phone was dead. I called the cable company and they sent someone else out. He came early Sunday morning. I am sure the technicians were fighting over who got to come to the house of ill repute. This time it was grandma who came out of the bathroom half dressed, bra less and toothless. I'm sure when the technicians compare notes, no one will believe the first guy!!

Saturday we had Christmas at our house with Dave's family. I made a "special " drink with Citrus Vodka and Squirt soda. My sister in law and I drank a few too many. The problem was that after everyone left, we went to a party for Lauren's boyfriend Mike's parents. It was a surprise 25th anniversary party. I am not much of a drinker and I don't think I have EVER shown up to a party already "happy." All I know is this morning my back hurt so bad I was walking like I was 90. I think it may have been the dancing combined with a little air guitar. It really wasn't my fault, they played Jessie's girl. Lauren said, "way to go mom, way to impress my future in laws." I guess if Mike's family doesn't like us anymore, she can always give the cable guy a call.

Tis the season to be ready to ram my head against a wall over and over again. No matter how hard I try, there is never enough time. A girl I work with just brought her son's Christmas Pictures in. He is about six months old and absolutely adorable. She has three pictures sitting on her desk. He is wearing a Santa Suit and in each picture and is sitting in front of a big white letter, the pictures spell out JOY. I thought of a great idea. This Christmas I will pose each one of my little blessings in front of a letter of my choosing. I have just enough kids to display on my desk ANARCHY.


Before I left for work last night Kelsey informed me that she needed a rob your neighbor gift for her Christmas party at school in the morning. I had Erin run by the grocery store for me to get ingredients so I could make cookies for the teachers when I got off work at midnight. I asked Erin if she wanted to make the cookies for me while I was at work. She said, "Umm no I don't really want to."

I had 4 cookie tins and 6 teachers to bake for. Before I left, I asked Kelsey to have her dad buy two more tins and her rob your neighbor gift. I received a message on my cell phone from little Sybil a while later that said, "Mom I am going to a hockey game so I definitely won't be able to buy the tins or make your cookies, I guess dad can do it, bye." I got home around 12:30 and Dave was in bed reading. I asked if he bought the tins and the rob your neighbor gift. He said, "no I figured I could go to QT in the morning." I said, "I'm sure every eighth grader would love a $5 gas card." I sent him to Wal Mart!!

Erin was sitting at the counter when I was mixing the cookie batter. I asked her to take two steps behind her and get the eggs out of the fridge for me. She looked at me like I was crazy and said. "I'm really tired, I don't feel like getting up." My poor baby, she was just exhausted from getting all dolled up in her new $98 dollar jeans and flirting with CBC hockey players all night. She really needs to get some rest, I was starting to worry about her. I was being so selfish to ask her to hand me the eggs. I will try to not be so hard on her in the future.

I was just about finished with my second batch of cookies when the phone rang. Who else would be calling at 1:30 in the morning other than my one and only. Of all the boys in the village, why oh why did I have to marry the village idiot. I answered the phone to hear, "Punkin, where would one find cookie tins??" I directed him through Wal Mart over the phone and wondered when a trip to the store wouldn't require a phone call. I finished the cookies at 2:00 AM and called it a day. FA LA, LA, LA, LA.

I have been working at Macy's for extra money for Christmas. Why is it that I don't have any extra money???? Tuesday I had to work until midnight. When I came out of work my van was parked in front of the building and the engine was running. I thought "Why is my van here? I didn't park here." I saw Dave's car parked behind it. He can still WOW me after all these years. He told me when he picked up Kelsey from basketball practice it was 20 degrees and he knew that I hate to be cold and he didn't want me walking across the cold parking lot. Yesterday however, I was barking out orders as usual on the phone before I left for work. He said "Don't be surprised if you come out of work tonight and I am standing there with a bucket of water to throw on you." Luckily for him, he can still Wow me and make me laugh.

I am working every day between now and Christmas, it is actually a blessing in disguise, not only am I making extra money, it is keeping me from excessive shopping and spending money on stupid stuff that my kids who have everything don't need. On the downside, I have to bake cookies for the kids teachers and Dave doesn't even know how to turn the oven on much less mix ingredients and bake. I guess I will find time somehow so no one breaks a tooth on a cookie.

My kids draw names on Thanksgiving and get each other gifts that they exchange on Christmas Eve. This year my genius son forgot who he has, but does remembers that it is a sister. That really narrows it down. Hopefully we figure it out so World War III doesn't break out on Christmas Eve.

Ryan asked if he could just stay home from school next week, they only have two days of school. He said on the last day it is just their Christmas party and he is tired of playing two hours of Christmas bingo like he does every other year. I told him for $500 a month tuition he will go and play Christmas bingo with a good attitude and a great big grateful smile on his face. Maybe I am a little testy because I am working two jobs. Last night he kept walking around with his pants too low. I warned him at least three times to pull them up. Finally I just said, "take off your pants and give them to me, you have lost your pants privilege for the day." He may be playing Christmas bingo in boxers if he doesn't watch it.

It has been a crazy week. Sam's college soccer team was in the final 4 NCAA soccer tournament in San Antonio. We couldn't afford to go so Sam arranged for Dave to be a chaperone so he could go on the bus with the students. The athletes flew down to the tournament and Wash U paid for any of their students that wanted to go, to ride a big bus down and they paid for their hotel rooms. Dave got to ride a 16 hour bus ride with a bunch of college kids that he has never met:(

I was starting a new job at Macy's for Christmas so I couldn't go with him. Grandma is out of town visiting her favorite grandchildren, I have a feeling that if I went, Sybil would have thrown quite the party in our absence. Dave had a good time and was thrilled for the chance to see our daughter get the chance to play in the final four. We make ourselves crazy driving to soccer practices and games for years and years, making it to the final four is a chance in a lifetime opportunity for a soccer family like ours. I am glad Dave was able to go. We won the first game in penalty kicks, but lost the championship game 1-0. Not too shabby to be 2ND in the nation for Division III women's soccer. A picture of Sam holding the trophy was in the paper the next morning. Pretty cool.

I woke up early Saturday morning and thought that I had the flu, I was dizzy and throwing up. I took it easy all day Saturday and felt a little better. I called in sick for my second day at Macy's. I'm sure I made a great impression. The next night I woke up feeling like I was violently spinning, I ended up in the ER all night. Poor Dave after getting home from a 16 hour bus ride with a bunch of kids that he didn't know, he got to sit in the ER for five hours with me. They were going to do a cat scan and the Dr. asked if there was any chance that I could be pregnant. I said, "Well I don't think so, but we don't use birth control so I guess it could be a possibility." She decided to do a pregnancy test to be on the safe side. When she left the room my loving devoted husband muttered, "God help you if you are pregnant, I will leave you here, I swear" He was kidding, I THINK!! Everything came back fine, no baby, no tumor just a bad case of vertigo. I saw a specialist on Monday and had a balance test on Tuesday, I follow up with him on Thursday. I feel a little better aside from leaning slightly to the left and running into a few walls.

Lauren called me on Monday to see if St. Nick had put anything in her shoe over the weekend. The Feast of St. Nick is one of those traditions that is a hit or miss depending on whether or not I remember or pay attention to the date. Considering St. Nick is spinning around feeling like he is on a bad acid trip, he skipped right over the Murphy house this year, come to think of it, Santa may skip us over as well.

I had about five minutes before I left for work at Macy's tonight so I cuddled up with Maggie on the couch while she was watching Tarzan. My favorite thing in the whole wide world is cuddling with my kids under a blanket watching a movie. Ryan is my best cuddlier only he never watches a movie with me without farting on my leg and fanning the blanket. Why can't he just be normal?? Before I left for work Maggie said, "Thanks for spending time with me mom!" I felt so bad, I am always so crazy busy, she was happy to have just those five minutes of cuddle time. Not only that, she was happy to be able to watch a cartoon instead of one of the 50 episodes of Criminal Minds that Erin is always making her watch on the DVR. She is now an expert on serial killers thanks to Erin. No visions of sugar plums are dancing inside little Maggie's head at night, she is learning how to kidnap, rape and kill.

Nothing brings out the Murphy dysfunction more than a holiday, nothing that is other than a holiday combined with the annual Christmas card photo shoot. I put the turkey in the oven around 10:30, I asked the girls to be ready for pictures at 11:00, that gave me plety of time to get back to the house before the turkey needed to be basted. Lauren rolled in the house at 10:45 with a hang over and offered anyone that was willing $300 to do her hair and makeup . Sam showed up at 11:00 ready and a little aggrivated that she is the only one who was ready. Erin/Sybil didn't even roll out of bed until 11:15. We were finally ready at 12:30.

We went to a nearby park, the ride was actually kind of fun, Maggie started a game in the van. My name is Anna, my husband's name is Aaron, I live in Alabama and I sell Apples and so on. The kids, especially the older ones had fun playing a dumb little car game just like when they were little. For a moment I though, wow, what great kids I have, I think they really love eachother. When we got to the park everyone was complaining because it was freezing cold. I took a few shots and Lauren stepped in dog poop in her Ugg boots. She was less than pleased. I always take 50 to 100 shots trying to get one where everyone has their eyes open and looks happy. The cold temperature coupled with Lauren smelling like dog poop shortened the photo shoot. We did our last couple of shots in a tree. We have done that before on a Christmas card but the kids were smaller. Erin got mad at Ryan (surprisingly) and Shannon got mad at EVERYONE. She announced "I hate Thanksgiving" and stormed out of the tree crying, Ryan's water works followed shortly after. The picture above is the last picture from our family field trip. Normally we have at least one kid crying during the family Christmas card. This year we had two, I 'm sure we can go for three our four next year. The ride home was silent other than a few complaints about Lauren's dog poop smell. I thought about starting a new game, My name is Colleen, I wish I was in Colorado selling coconuts and my husbands name was Carl!!

Today Ryan told me he got in trouble AGAIN in gym class. I was wondering why he snitched on himself until I got the email from his gym teacher. She must have warned him that it was coming. It said, "Dear Mr and Mrs Murphy, Ryan was disruptive in class and doesn't listen to me." I thought about responding, "welcome to my world". Instead I emailed back "I would love to help you out with this matter but Carl and I are in Colorado selling coconuts!!"