I have now been at Cedars for  little over 5 weeks. It's funny how 5 weeks can feel like just a day as well as years all at the same time. You always hear that your life can change in an instant but never really stop to think that saying would apply to you.

In my old life, with the start of summer, I would be trying to plan my day around the optimal sun time. In my new life I catch a few rays on my daily cry out on the bench in the hospital patio where I allow myself to have no more than 20 minutes daily to feel sorry for myself. I use that time to go through the Why Me questions to God.

I have always been a very active on the go person. Relaxing wasn't something I really enjoyed or did. I wouldn't have had seven kids if I enjoyed quiet time. I know its crazy but I actually enjoyed the chaos that normally surrounds my day to day activities. I am trying to learn how to appreciate the quiet. Sometimes the silence is deafening.

I am using this time to write Lauren and my story.  I have always loved to write and have often talked to Lauren on how I wanted to write my story in hopes that it would help other girls faced with teenage pregnancy. She always encouraged me to begin writing our story but I just wasn't ready to relive the pain of my past.

I guess when facing the pain of the present reliving the past kind of seems like a cake walk.

 I am not always the best writer, my spelling/punctuation/grammar isn't always ivy league educated caliber but nonetheless I do enjoy writing. It is a good outlet for me.


In my perfect world we will have a moment like in the movie the Notebook when I read our story to her and she will look at me and be whole again. I know that is far fetched but at least it gives me something positive to do as I sit in her hospital room 14 hours a day waiting for her to move or show some sign of awareness of her surroundings.

I am hoping to be able to present to Lauren our love story when she is better because in my heart I believe she will get better. I have no other choice but to believe that. She is a fighter and my family needs their sister back. We miss her laugh, we miss her thoughtfulness with her texts and random gifts that show up in the mail. We miss her ridiculous lipstick shades and her pushiness and her drive and her love. We just miss everything that is Lauren Murphy.

I think the staff here thinks that we have lost our minds. She has personalized hospital gowns, a hot pink blanket and colorful fancy socks. Her best friend Courtney always puts on her lip gloss and gives her weekly manicures.

I shaved her armpits and her legs last night and have been keeping up her perfectly groomed eyebrows. Once her hair grows back a bit more she will surely be due for a highlight. The highlight may be a bit harder to hide from the nurses but no worries, I'll find a way.

Surgery is scheduled for Friday and then hopefully we will be in Chicago by mid June at the latest. I have given 100% of my focus to Lauren since the accident and I have a husband and six other kids who need me as well. This is very difficult for me as I have always been there for everyone. I know my kids have been well cared for but its not the same. Once we get settled in Chicago I will be forced to find a balance of my two worlds. It wont be easy but it is needed. Murphys don't quit and I am no exception.

Thank you to everyone who has kept Lauren as well as the rest of my family in your prayers. She is making great strides and I firmly believe it is  due to all the prayers, love and support that we have received. The amount of love the Murphy's have received helps me continue to put one foot in front of the other.