Change is Hard

Big Changes For 2016

     I have been away from home since July 3rd. I have had a few trips back during that time, the longest being over Christmas.  I have a new appreciation for the phrase “There’s no place like home.” I have loved every second that I have been able to spend at home but I realized during my time at home that things have changed since I left. 

     2016 will be a year of changes. I am starting the process of packing up my apartment  in Omaha and getting ready to come home. Lauren is now in a simulation apartment on campus at QLI.  They are giving her less support in her daily activities and are trying to successfully lead her down the path to more independence. Her speech is slowly improving and she continues to defy the odds. I will be home  February 1st.  I will fly to Omaha every weekend to be with Lauren. This will be tough for me to leave but I know she will do better in Omaha without me. Independence is something all parents want for their kids. I survived her first day of kindergarten, her driving, her going off to college and her moving to New York...I will survive this too and she will be stronger for it. It is best for her to be able to push herself. She can do this! She has had almost three years of preparation living with such a pushy mother. 

     Another change for 2016 involves Shannon and Kelsey. Previously they had access to my bank account and would transfer money whenever their accounts were running low. College is expensive so this year I am giving them each a monthly stipend.  They can use this money for whatever they want. I pay their utilities and rent so the money I deposit twice monthly is basically for food and recreation aka Vodka. So far I have received half a dozen SOS calls because their funds are drying up quickly. Shannon just received a $20 advance for February. I’m sure once Kelsey reads this my phone will ring.

     Back in October I purchased a few flights when Southwest had a good sale. I flew home Monday for a short 39 hour trip. While I was home, I observed that Dave has really staked his claim as king of the castle. He is a bit quirky and likes things a certain way. For example he mentioned to me  “We make the bed every morning now.” Oh do we? It was nice to be home but I felt almost like a guest (a very bitchy outspoken guest but still a guest). My dishes were all rearranged in the cabinets and my bathroom no longer had deodorant, shampoo, conditioner or body wash. The girls had swiped that long ago. Watching TV with my husband has never been easy but now that he has had complete control of the remote for 7 months it is brutal. Tuesday evening I watched  7 minutes of The Big Bang Theory, 10 minutes of the Blues game, 6 minutes of an incredibly boring World War II program and 8 minutes of Tosh.0. I realized then that I only have a few weeks to devise my plan to successfully overthrow the current regime in the house and regain control of the house, TV and the skillfully made bed. I am pretty confident that it will be like taking candy from a baby. My prediction is that he will be watching Lifetime movies by Feb 3rd.

     Monday night Dave asked me if I would mind cleaning his shower while I was home. A little back story on the shower…When we were under construction to modify our home it was difficult to add a master bathroom in the space that we had. Our contractor suggested we modify the plans and install a tub/shower combo. I am a bath person and wanted to keep them separate. In order to do so, Dave’s shower had to be pretty small. My bathtub is shorter than a standard tub but much deeper. Now that everything is done, I feel pretty bad and wish I would have conceded and done the tub/shower combo. If you take the size of a shower in a stateroom on a cruise ship and cut it in thirds you would have the dimensions of Dave’s shower. If he gains any weight he may have to spray himself with Pam in order to fit. 

     Because I have  always been  a submissive wife, (did anyone buy that?) The next morning I sprayed down the shower walls with bathroom cleaner and went downstairs to do some work for my online classes.  An hour later I went back upstairs to tackle the shower. The soap scum and hard water stains were pretty bad. Seriously did he not think to do this anytime in the last 7 months? Last April I tried to hire a cleaning lady. The week she was supposed to start, she broke her foot. She told me she would get in touch as soon as she was more mobile. I have yet to hear back from her. I think someone may have tipped her off about us and she headed (limped) for the hills. 

     After scraping the soap scum off my brand new beautiful bathroom tile I decided it was time for my quirky husband to make a change for 2016. I hid every last bar of his coveted Irish Spring soap. Who still uses bar soap?  And those that do, why Irish Spring? I bought him some manly smelling body wash and placed it in his mini shower and patiently waited for the shit to hit the fan. He was less then pleased with me when he realized operation soap modification was in full swing. I explained to him that I had tucked away his Irish Spring in a very special place and he could have it back on Feb 1st.  I left for the airport a few hours later…I did not make the bed.