Motherhood by definition is; the state of being a mother. (I actually looked it up.) 

I am far from wise but what I do know is that motherhood in all of its forms is a gift; the good, the bad, and even the ugly. One common theme throughout motherhood is that every mother believes that God gave her the most beautiful children in the world. Clearly most are wrong because my children truly are the most beautiful…Am I the only one who thinks that? 

I became a mother a few weeks after my 18th birthday. I weighed 137 pounds when I delivered my first baby. I remember thinking that I was the fattest girl in the whole world. That makes me laugh out loud today. 

Raising kids is the hardest job on the planet but it is also the biggest gift. Even the shittiest parts of motherhood are beautiful when you pull back all the layers. I have learned that the early years are super hard but they are also super easy. When my Erin was little she was full of energy. She wore me out like no other toddler, she walked at 8 months and could climb like spiderman. How does a toddler learn to climb up a refrigerator? Especially a refrigerator with a missing handle because she snapped it right off. I somehow survived those years and even survived her teenage years of drunken high school parties disguised as “Mom, I’m going to the movies.” With each stage of motherhood, the job seems to get harder and harder. Now she is a successful ICU nurse and takes care of some of the sickest kids in St. Louis. I no longer worry about her falling from a high cabinet or drinking too much at a high school party.  Now my worries are for her broken heart as she watches some of the strongest mother’s fighting along side of their children who have been given the most unfair, worst set of circumstances. 

One of the advantages for me of becoming a mother at such a young age is that I never really had a chance to realize what the job entailed. My biggest concern was whether or not the stretch marks across my hips would go away. I mean…Oh My God….I thought I might die. Fast forward a decade and a half later, the stretch marks are small potatoes compared to seeing your kid sad after not winning a student council election or not making Varsity soccer. Why didn’t anyone tell me this? Or did they…would I have listened? 

Yet the triumphs are so much sweeter. Seeing your oldest become class valedictorian when you took motherhood 101 instead of getting a high school diploma is pure joy. The pride of motherhood is indescribable. Even during times when things are less than perfect there is always a silver lining. Life is certainly unpredictable and has many ups and downs. Motherhood is such a privilege and I am thankful that God entrusted me with seven of the most talented, good hearted, caring, beautiful children. He also entrusted me with seven of the most difficult, wild, messy, obnoxious and rude children in the world, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The last couple of years have really taken their toll on me. I never thought I would be the type of mom who wasn’t involved in the day to day activities of my kids. Since Lauren’s accident I have lived away from my family for long periods of time. I have lived in Beverly Hills, Downtown Chicago, St.Petersburg Florida (twice), and now I reside in Omaha Nebraska. When I was younger I went from my parent’s house to owning a home as a newlywed. In the last 2.5 years I have lived away from my family in five different apartments alone. This time has definitely taken a toll. This is not the job I signed up for…but that is part of the mystique of motherhood. Do any of us really sign up for the crappy parts? 

Today I actually googled, “The best product for under eye bags”. How did I get here? I guess what I’m trying to say is that motherhood is so much more than “the state of being a mother.” It is the hardest thing, the saddest thing, the funniest thing and the most glorious thing all wrapped up in a shiny bow. It is who I am and I have loved every second of it. Well, not the new bags under my eyes…those really suck… That’s all the wisdom I have for now, I’m headed to Target to pick up the  Olay Regenerist Anti-Aging Eye Roller.