Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Birthdays Are Overrated


Last Sunday October 5th was Lauren’s 27th birthday. Some birthdays are better than others. Life is often unfair and just plain hard.

Sunday morning we were in Indiana for my nieces wedding. We stayed in a hotel and Lauren slept well and started her morning in a good mood. It was a typical morning other than being in a hotel. Her behavior was pretty normal. We got dressed, checked out, stopped for gas and coffee and headed to my nephew’s house 20 minutes away to pick up the rest of the Murphy group. We were planning a big birthday breakfast for Lauren.

Within a few minutes of arriving at my nephew’s house, Lauren starting walking around in circles, similar to a dog chasing his tail. I walked over to her and noticed her gaze was not right. I asked, “Lauren, are you having a seizure?” Not sure why I asked her, clearly she couldn’t answer me? She stared motionless for about a minute before the convulsions started. The actual clonic part of the seizure lasted about 4 minutes. We called 911 and could hear the sirens just moments after the seizure stopped. Kuddos to our first responders for getting there so quickly.

This was Lauren’s third seizure, I have witnessed all three, Erin has been there for two and the rest of the kids as well as Dave and my nephew had to witness this last one. Watching a person seize is very unpleasant. It is a helpless feeling that is hard to describe. All you can do is hope and pray that the seizure ends quickly. From what I have been told by health professionals, seizures do not cause more damage unless they are the kind that last over 20 minutes. In some cases patients even show signs of improvement after a seizure.

The paramedics checked her out and determined that she seemed ok and they could transport her to the ER or we could just let her rest. The ER would most likely just tell me to follow up with her doctor. We decided against the hospital and let her rest a couple hours before we headed back home. Within 2 hours of our car ride, she was singing in the car. Clearly she was less unscathed than the rest of us.

I called her doctors office bright and early Monday morning, and again in the afternoon. I have had issues in the past with her doctor returning calls or emails. Welcome to the world of TBI’ S and brick walls. I have made my way through more than my fare share of brick walls along this journey.

Lauren had therapy at 1:00 on Monday and I decided to bring her even though I still hadn’t heard from her doctor. She seemed back to her old self and I didn’t think cancelling therapy would be necessary.  I am a bit of a multi tasker so I decided to run by West County Mall while she was at therapy and exchange a dress I had ordered online at Nordstrom for Sam’s wedding in a bigger size and a different color. With all the comfort food I ate Sunday and Monday I should have ordered it two sizes bigger.

As I walked in Nordstrom, in the words of Ms Oprah Winfrey, I had a bit of an Aha moment. Nordstrom for me in the past was always just a cut through store for me to get to my car. I always loved that store but the price point was a little out of reach. I have always been a Marshalls, or Target kind of girl. A few years ago, Lauren got me a pair of jeans from Nordstrom for Christmas. They were too small (why is everything always too small?) so I retuned them and got a different style and size. I remember shopping and thinking, “wow, I love this store. Not only do they have pretty things they actually come to the dressing room and alter them for you.” They don’t do that at Target. A whole new word opened up for me that day. I remember thinking how that as soon as I got my last kid through Catholic high school I was going to become a faithful Nordstrom shopper.

Yesterday as I was in Nordstrom I literally laughed out loud thinking how just a few years ago Nordstrom was one of the biggest goals I had on my life plan. Could I be any more shallow?  I looked at a few of the sale racks and thought to myself. “I have absolutely no desire to wear anything in this store.” All I really want is for my kids to be healthy. I would sell my soul to the devil and walk around Nordstrom naked if I could have my old life back.  5 minutes into my Nordstrom trip I realized I left my phone in the car and sprinted towards the parking lot. I was still waiting for the doctor to return my call and I didn’t like being unreachable in case Lauren had any issues.


I had no missed calls but decided it was best for me to get gas and head back towards therapy in case Lauren needed me.          
I never did receive a call back from her doctor on Monday. I finally talked to someone in his office Tuesday that relayed that he would set up a phone call meeting to discuss her seizure on Friday? What??? Friday….you have got to be kidding me, 5 days after her seizure?

Unfortunately I had to pull out my mama bear claws again and after three more phone calls and lots of tears on my end. The doctor agreed to call me 30 minutes later. Why do I have to cry to get the medical attention that my daughter deserves? There has to be an easier way. Is this doctor so busy that an 18-minute phone call (according to my call log) had to be scheduled 5 days after a 5-minute grand mal seizure?

Starting tonight, her anti seizure medicine is being increased and I hope and pray it doesn’t turn her into a zombie. It took her over 8 weeks to adjust when it was first prescribed back in July of 2013. I guess this is just another little bump in the road of life. We will make it through; we always do Murphys Don’t Quit!

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