Ryan had a 6:00 baseball game tonight. He had spent the night at his friends house last night. He called me around 4:00 and asked me if I would get his baseball uniform together and find his contacts under the sink. I told him I would come pick him up so he could find his own stuff. He has a tendency to be a tad bit helpless. (The males in my family share that special trait. ) Thank God there are only two of them. He found everything but his contacts, the box was empty. I knew we had bought a year supply and he has only been in contacts a few months. He has had a couple of eye infections so it was possible he had went through a few extra pair but no way could he have went through the whole years supply. After questioning him and searching under my bathroom vanity, I found a full box of contacts on Dave's side of the sink. My genius son had been taking Kelsey's contacts and wearing them. That would have worked out great if they had the same prescription. The good new is that he has a whole years worth of contacts left. The bad news is Kelsey will have to be blind for a while until the money gods, throw some extra cash our way.

I am still trudging along on my diet, I have lost 30 pounds and I have 13 more to go. I'm thinking it would be so much easier to cut off one of my legs to lose that last thirteen pounds. I just want a piece of cake, is that too much to ask??? I could use a little comfort food. Two of my kids have had surgery this summer, one kid is a contact thief and my dog filled up my favorite pair of flats with urine. If I cut off my leg, I could still wear the shoe that didn't have pee in it as I hopped up to the table for some cake. Ok so maybe that isn't such a bright idea. I will continue to do my Jillian workouts and run on the tread mill. I think it is obvious that little Miss Jillian from the Biggest Loser has never given birth to any eight pound children. Her workouts are filled with jumping jacks and jump rope exercises. When I do these workouts, I have two choices, workout with a bucket strategically placed underneath me or borrow a poise pad from my diaper wearing dog. I am such a sexy beast!!!!

We had a crazy weekend. Lauren's best friend Diane got married on Saturday. I got up early and went to the Bride's house to help the girls get ready. I did Lauren's hair and make up and put individual false eyelashes on all the bridesmaids and did eye makeup on four girls. The bridesmaids got dressed in the balcony of church, as they were changing and I watched their skinny little bodies with next to nothing dental floss as underwear, I decided it would be best for me to take my girdle and get dressed downstairs in the bathroom away from all the skinny girls. I sat down for the first time all day in my pew just in time to watch the beautiful bride (and beautiful maid of honor) walk down the aisle. The wedding was beautiful and the reception was very nice. Dave and I were discussing how quickly the tide has turned, it seems like we have just finished wedding season with our friends and now suddenly it is our daughter's friends getting married. How in the hell did that happen. We can't be that old, Can we???

Lauren had surgery this morning, it has been a rough summer for the Murphy girls. She has been having horrible cramps for years and the doctor suspected that she had endometriosis. They did laproscopic surgery and that is what they found. The doctor said our next step is to put her in a temporary state of menopause for six months. I never thought my daughter would go through menopause before me. She told Mike, "Sorry Mike, you get to go through menopause with me twice." Poor Mike, he is definitely a keeper. When she woke up from surgery she was really groggy and kept asking me if her stomach was big. I kept assuring her that she was the same size that she was an hour ago, she would wait five minutes and say, "mom, is my stomach big?" Again, NO!! She would wait two minutes and say, "Did you put my belly button ring back in." Ummm, no, they went in through your belly button, putting a ring back in wouldn't be such a good idea. Two minutes later, "Mom, is my stomach big." "No, Lauren." A minute later, "Do I have stretch marks?" I then apologized to the nurse and explained that she is a tad vain. She still had her fake eyelashes on left over from the wedding. The nurse said they taped her eyes shut when she was under anesthesia and they were careful taking the tape off so she wouldn't lose her eyelashes. She must have thought we were really weird. Who wears fake eyelashes to surgery? I helped her get dressed and decided the dental floss she had as underwear would not be much protection for Erin's shorts. They gave me a pair of sexy, one size fits all disposable underwear for her. They kind of reminded me of the sexy girdle I wore to Diane's wedding. When we got in the car she was looking at the pictures that they gave her of the inside of her uterus. She looked at me as serious as she could and said, "Mom, you are not putting these on facebook." "Oh, honey, I wouldn't do that, I was saving them to send out as our family Christmas card next year.

I have been seriously neglecting my blog lately. I do have a very valid explanation however; My beloved pooch Seamus lifted his leg and peed on my laptop. Apparently dog urine completely shuts down a computer system. WHO KNEW?? We have two other computers, one has a virus and the other has a bad keyboard. As long as you don't need a space bar an e or a t, it works fine. It kind of reminds me of the old days when I started my washing machine with pliers and the bottom part of my dishwasher was held up with some well placed Lego's. Good Times, Good Times.

Lauren's best friend is getting married this month. They started the bachelorette party at our house with drinks and appetizers. The party bus picked them up and drove them around bar hopping all night. They ended up back at our house at 2:00 AM. I woke up to my bedroom door ratelling. Dave got up and used the bathroom, while he was gone, the bride to be climbed in bed with me. Dave came out of the bathroom to 10 drunk 21-24 year old girls sitting or standing around our bed. I'm sure somewhere deep down it could have been some sick fantasy of his, but I'm sure whatever vision he may have had would not have included his wife and or daughter. He stood over by his closet with a look on his face that said, please help me, get these drunk girls out of our room. Luckily they all settled in to beds upstairs shortly after that and we were able to get some sleep.

Erin's soccer team won the high school state championship this weekend. It was without a doubt the best game we have ever watched. They were tied 1 to 1 after regulation. They had two 15 minute overtimes and went to penalty kicks. Lucky for us the good guys came out on top. Erin is still not able to play because of her surgery. It was hard for her to sit on the bench and watch but she was a trooper. Her head is healing nicely, she has one spot that is a little questionable but we are watching it closely and keeping our fingers crossed that it will be OK. She goes back to the doctor at the end of June.

My kids are already bored this summer. I'm afraid that Shannon's body imprint will be permanently embedded in my recliner. Maggie is the only one that ever answers the phone when I call home to see what everyone is doing. She usually responds with "Nothing." Dave was off work today, he slept until after noon. Do I really have another lazy teenager in the house. I gave him one task; to get to the bank by 2:00 to make a deposit. He was finally up and showered by 1:30 plenty of time to get to the bank. I might kill him in our golden retirement years, hasn't he realized yet that when I give him a task that I want it done in a timely fashion, not as close to the deadline as possible. He is soooo lucky that he is cute!!