I have Maggie's First Communion in less than three days and my house is still a disaster. Grandma did all the grocery shopping for me so that is one less thing I have to do. Of course she bought aluminum foil from the dollar store instead of spending an extra 75 cents to get foil that actually closes around your container. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. I have an appointment tomorrow to get my hair cut and colored. Wednesday I had 45 minutes to go to the mall and pick out a new outfit for me to wear to First Communion and I had to get Maggies' necklace and earrings. I felt like OJ running through the airport practically sprinting from store to store. My clothes are all too big thanks to my new diet but I didn't want to spend a fortune on a new outfit when I plan to be even smaller by my 40th birthday. That is the plan anyway, lets see how I do with Maggie's whipped cream cake on Sunday.

Erin has had a nightmare with her prom dress. First it was too big, we had it taken in, it was still too big. She took it in again. New problem, she couldn't get It zipped. We took it back to the seamstress and she let it out. Erin is on her way back from a soccer game in Kansas City so she hasn't tried it on yet. I sure hope third time is a charm. She is getting her Senior pictures taken on Wednesday, we are trying to fit everything in before her surgery. I talked to her pediatrician today about possibly getting a second opinion. She agreed it wouldn't be a bad idea but we don't have much time. Hopefully I will be able to get in early this week and they may find a less invasive way to treat what she has going on. I doubt it, but I will feel better knowing that we explored other options. I have heard of four different people this week that have been diagnosed with cancer. One of which was a classmate of Erin's in grade school. It is so hard to understand why bad things happen to such good people. I don't think I can take much more bad news this week.


I had a decorating committee meeting for eighth grade graduation. As soon as it was over I headed to Ryan's 8:00 baseball game. While I was at the game I heard all the mothers talking about getting their boys costumes together for the project tomorrow. Me and little Mr. Murphy had a long talk in the car at 9:30 why it wasn't a good idea to have your mom throw a costume together at 9:30 at night. He has to be someone famous from MO. He chose David Cook, the American Idol winner. We found a pair of jeans, brown T-shirt, wooden cross necklace, microphone and Rock Band electric guitar. Not bad for a 5 minute costume.

Dave is running a six mile race on Saturday, he turns 40 on Sunday and must have something to prove. I notice he didn't challenge Lauren's boyfriend Mike to try and beat him this time. I think he learned his lesson after the St. Pat's Day run. I get tired when I have to drive six miles, I wouldn't even consider running six miles. Who does that???

We got bad news this week so I haven't felt much like being funny. Erin has to have some surgery due to some long term complications she has as a result of several surgeries that she had as a toddler. Life doesn't slow down even when you are sad. We still have a million soccer practices, baseball games and spelling tests to study for, so keeping busy is not a problem. Ryan had an 8:00 baseball game last night. I got there late and saw his batting glove in the car. I brought it over to him in the dug out feeling like the hero for bringing him the batting glove that he forgot. He said "Thanks mom, dad's golf glove will be very helpful in my game tonight." I tried, at least I finally figured out that his cup goes small side of the triangle down. Who Knew??? Maggie has a 7:30 AM game in Collinsville tomorrow morning, that is most definitely a dad job. When he learns how to give birth he can sleep in and I will be happy to take the early games. Ryan has a game, Sam has a game and Erin is in a tournament. I'm thinking of staying in bed with the covers over my head. I was up at church earlier tonight and when I went to the bathroom, the lighting was so good that I noticed the inch and a half long blond hair that grows out the side of my nose. How in the hell does that happen, one day this long hair just appears. Getting old is so much fun. Erin had a soccer game on Wednesday, when I pulled in the parking lot I saw a sign with the date and time of the NHS induction ceremony posted. It would be nice if my daughter would have shared that information with me. Normally I get about twelve hours notice so I'm actually ahead of the game because I saw the sign. I can't wait until they have their own kids!!! Kelsey, Ryan and Maggie had the jogathon today at school. Ryan and Kelsey almost killed each other over a pair of shorts. Apparently we only have one pair of big gym shorts and Ryan had them on. They were past Ryan's knees and he felt that whomever got them on first, gets to wear them. We have several pair of smaller shorts but they are the old cotton style, not the mesh shorts that they like. He refused to wear the smaller ones so he ended up wearing school pants instead. I guess I will have to fit in gym short shopping in my weekend somehow. Anything to keep the peace. I'm sure they will find something else to fight about.

Dave is still in charge of the grocery shopping because I am still on my diet. He was off work all day Friday and spent the whole day watching the soccer channel. I'm surprised he didn't get bed sores. I sent him to the grocery store when I got home from work. I was making breakfast this year for Easter so we needed simple things, eggs, milk, bacon, pancake mix, cheese, ham, green pepper ,sausage, bread etc etc. I figured he could handle the task. I was going to work out on the Wii and I gave him strict instructions not to call me with fifty questions while he was at the grocery store. He did call me twice asking where certain items could be found in the store and what brand should he buy? The second time he called, I gently (OK not so gently) reminded him to leave me alone. I had a million things to do, I still hadn't colored eggs with the kids. I hard boiled them on Friday so they were ready to go.

I got up early Saturday and we colored eggs first thing. Erin was in a tournament so we headed to her game shortly after I cleaned up the egg mess. Dave was the Godfather for a close friend of ours who was becoming Catholic at the Easter Vigil so we headed to their house after Erin's game. They live about an hour away from our house. We didn't get home until close to midnight. We still had to do the whole Easter Bunny thing when we got home. Maggie woke us up bright and early at 7:00 so she could try and find her Easter basket. She gave up candy for lent so she didn't want to waste any time. The kids went to 10:00 mass with grandma. Dave and I went the night before so I stayed home to get breakfast ready for the little vultures. I cooked three pounds of bacon, french toast, Belgian waffles, sausage and pancakes. I hadn't even gotten to the omelets before they started putting in orders for their third and fourth helpings of french toast. Of course I got to enjoy my scrumptious soy shake as all my skinny family members enjoyed my hot breakfast. Dave's sister arrived with her family in time for round two of my pancakes and waffles. When she got there she snitched on her baby brother. She said, "I have to tell you, Dave called me from the grocery store on Friday, he said you told him he couldn't call you anymore to ask questions but you didn't specifically say he couldn't call anyone." How does that man function?? He runs three water districts with over 40,000 customers and he can't handle the grocery store???

Erin got a flat tire on Saturday night and left her car at Wal Mart. Dave finally got around to changing it today. He was too tired on Sunday after eating a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon to move. He went home at lunch today to have Erin go with him so she could drive the car back. When Dave got home Erin was screaming at Kelsey because she lent Kelsey her indoor soccer shoes that she needed for practice and she couldn't find them. Kelsey insisted that she returned them but Erin wouldn't hear of it. When they got to Wal Mart, my genius daughter realized she didn't bring her keys so they had to go back home. By this time Erin had to leave for soccer practice so Lauren had to go help Dave instead. That went over well. Dave changed the tire and found Erin's missing shoes in the trunk of her car. I think she owes little Miss Kelsey a bit of an apology. She called me today to tell me that she officially had a prom date. I said "How did you ask him? Please tell me you didn't send him a text message." Of course she said, "I sent him a text." Great, his little brother was probably playing with his phone. You might be going with a second grader. Texting, what a racket.

Yesterday I had my very first conference call at work. I might have actually felt important if my cell phone as well as my other line on my desk phone weren’t ringing consistently through my whole conference call. Erin, Dave and Lauren all called during the call. In Dave’s defense he only called once, he had enough sense to realize I was unavailable. I was afraid to put the conference call on hold to answer my other line, if my phone played music when I put someone on hold, everyone would know.

When my call was over I called Lauren to see what could possibly be so earth shattering. She said “Mom, you need to ground Shannon, she is being so mean.” I love it when I get parenting advice from my kids, how did I ever survive without them?? Shannon has had a bad couple of days; Kelsey used her own money and bought the shoes that Shannon wanted. Granted Shannon doesn’t have a job and her birthday is not until November so her cash flow is at an abrupt halt. She still feels her little sister should have shown proper pecking order with the shoes and bought something else. My five youngest kids had a dental appointment that morning. Erin was bringing herself after soccer practice and grandma was bringing the youngest four. Erin called me from the dentist office wondering if she bought her prom jewelry, would I transfer money in to her account. “Well of course, I already bought the dress and shoes, why don’t you throw in a few tans as well.” After all, I am the money tree. While I was on the phone with Lauren I could hear grandma in the background. She needed Lauren to move her car. Lauren was more concerned with stirring the pot trying to get her little sister in trouble than helping her 71 year old grandma. She could have actually taken her siblings to the dentist for me, but of course she has that whole “what’s in it for me attitude.”

Dave was a nice dad and took Shannon and some of her friends to see the midnight showing of the new Hannah Montana movie last night. He dropped them off and waited in the parking lot reading a book and brought them all back to our house at 2:00, Yikes!! I was asleep by 9:30. I’m the only one who had to work today. The girls woke me up giggling a few times. I was just happy to hear Shannon laughing for a change so I didn’t complain. It was just a few hours earlier that she told everyone she hated them over a pair of Nike’s.

I had a crazy weekend. Friday my best friend from grade school had a 40th birthday party. I couldn't eat because I am still on my crazy diet and I drank water all night. At one point my husband disappeared for about an hour. I told my friends that the last time he did that to me was New Years Eve about 15 years ago. We went to a New Years Eve party at the Knights OF Columbus Hall a few blocks from our house. He disappeared for about 30 minutes, when he came back he told me that he ran home to poop. So of course my first thought Friday was, "this bar is 40 minutes from our home, I may be here all night!! He finally came back to the table, he had been in another part of the bar listening to the band. He loves live bands, of course I find them annoying and loud. We have so much in common. The next morning we had a garage sale so we had to get up at the crack of dawn to move cars and get everything organized. Kelsey spent the night with a friend so she could go to the home opener for our new Women's Professional Soccer Team. She got to go on the field and walk with the players during the opening ceremony, she was in heaven. We had another 40th birthday party on Saturday for one of my close friends. Again, food was off limits so I drank my water last night and watched everyone else eat drink and be merry. My husband who never drinks, drank enough for both of us. We didn't get home until after 1:00, I am getting way too old for that. Sam was bringing her new boyfriend over for breakfast. I always make a big breakfast and we figured it would be a good time for him to meet everybody. Everyone usually stays home in the morning if they know food is involved. We cleaned the house and warned everyone to be on their best behavior and to act like a normal family. Mike is still getting over watching the way we "toss" bacon across the table when someone can't reach it. I got up at 8:00 to start cooking, I knew Dave would not be perky this morning so I was pretty much on my own. Maggie started calling Sam to see where she was around 9:00. She finally called back and said she was on her way. A few minutes later the front door opened and Mike and Lauren walked in, Lauren went straight to the powder room to throw up. She was at a bachelorette party the night before. What an impression we were going to make with this new kid. Hung over father, drunk sister, what a classy family we are. Everyone finally arrived and breakfast was good. Sam mentioned that she also went to the St Louis Athletica game last night. I said, "Did you see Kelsey, she was supposed to be carrying a flag on the field?" She said, No, which flag was she holding??" "Umm, the flag attached to the kid that looked exactly like your sister, strawberry blond hair, blue eyes....." She doesn't think I'm funny. There was a lull in the conversation which Mike found to be the perfect time to notice and to share with everyone that Lauren had puke in her hair. Soon after, Dave spotted a turtle in the back yard and Ryan and Maggie brought it in the house. Doesn't everyone have drunk relatives as well as reptiles crawling around the living room??? I wonder if Sam's new boyfriend is looking for a new girlfriend yet?