Big Families

My sister sent me this in an email a while back. I just came across it and thought it was worthy to post. I wish I knew who the author was so I could give them props.....Big families are often criticized and raked through the coals by the media. Funny though how children of big families are normally the best behaved and most well rounded in the room, this article helps explain why. It's kind of long but very well written....Enjoy!


A woman said to me recently that my five children were very well behaved.It’s one of the best things I can hear so I thanked her. Then she asked me“how do you do it with so many?” I told her that I don’t think I’d be a very good parent of one child or two. She didn’t believe my answer but honest to goodness, I sometimes think that having many children is easier than just one. Why big families are easier: Patience. I never have toteach patience. My children know that I can’t drop everything for them ifI have a baby in my arms. Work Ethic. My children have learned to workbecause there are always chores to do in a small house packed with littlemessy lunatics. And they all learn quickly that sometimes they have to cleanup a mess even though they didn’t make it. Humility. My children havelearned it’s not always their turn. They’ve accepted they can’t alwaysget their way because other people have to get their way sometimes.They’ve learned that some children are better at certain things than theyare. Foreign language skills. You can learn a lot of Spanish by watching tenyears of Dora the Explorer that you just can’t pick up in two. And nowwith the Diego spin off I’m practically fluent. Laughter. The childrenhave learned to laugh at the insane non sequiturs of younger siblings.They’ve learned that laughing just feels better when seven people aredoing it along with you. Competition. Do I really need to go into this?Everything is a competition in big families. The children compete over whoreads faster, who drinks their milk faster, who gets to the bathroomfirst…etc. Everything is a competition and they’re all keeping score.Balance. The floor of the front room of my home is a minefield of toys andchildhood paraphernalia. Just walking through the room requires great skilland balance. I’m absolutely convinced my two year old will be a favoritefor Gold on the balance beam in the 2016 Olympics. (She might have to layoff the cookies a little but I’ll deal with that later.) Life isn’tfair. Sometimes you just give it to the baby because you want a littlequiet. Not all the time. But sometimes. Just say “No.” Being able to say“no” may be the most undervalued skill in this world. The need to beliked is pervasive. The need to be cool even more so. Having brothers andsisters teaches children to say “no” about 143 times a day. It’s agood skill. Praying. They learn that nothing beats praying together as afamily. Nature/Nurture. Having many children has taught me that nature has alot more to do with who my kids are than nurture. This is helpful,especially when your children misbehave you don’t have to feel bad aboutit. Just say “Stupid nature!!!” and blame your spouse’s genes.Namecalling. You can occasionally call your child by the wrong name andstill not be considered a terrible parent. They know who you mean just fromyour tone. Sometimes if you need something done you can call the wrong nameand someone will still show up. That helps. Spying. My children have learnedthat they can’t get away with anything. I have spies who look a lot likethem who are willing to drop the dime on them for anything. Even at schoolI’ve got a child in just about every grade. If they do something I’llhear. That keeps them nervous. And I like keeping my kids a little nervous.Friendship. The children have many friends. They’ve got girly friends,crying friends, fun loving friends, consoling friends, and crazy friends.And they all have the same last name. And they’ll be there forever foreach other. No matter what. Love. I think my children have learned to lovebecause there are others around them to love and who love them. I honestlycan think of no better way to teach children to love than siblings.

I woke up yesterday to the sound of Shannon's pleasant voice screaming. "Pick up my lunch." From what I gathered in the few seconds that I had to process the situation....Shannon must have dropped her lunch and she was demanding that Kelsey pick it up for her. I accessed the situation and decided that it would be best for me to stay in bed, pretend that I was still asleep and just say a quick prayer for Kelsey.

I took Erin and Lauren to lunch to celebrate Erin's birthday. They both heard the "Pick up my lunch" outburst this morning as well. I love how the whole family jumped to Kelsey's rescue. Lauren told me that Shannon had tried to wake her up to move her car and she wasn't budging. That may have been the first thing to light my little red heads fuse. We have all learned it is best to let crazy Shannon vent and just stay out of her way.

When she got home from school I asked her why she was such a raging lunatic this morning. Her story went kind of like this; "We were running late and I asked Kelsey to see who's car was parked behind me and she said, "Lauren's." I asked Lauren to move it and it and she wouldn't. Turns out, Kelsey is so stupid it wasn't even Lauren's car it was yours." Then she was wasting time looking in the mirror instead of helping me find my keys. I dropped my lunch and asked her to pick it up because she was wasting time looking in the mirror obviously because she is so stupid. It's not my fault that she is so stupid"


Kelsey's version, "I heard Dad leave this morning and when I heard his car start I thought that maybe he went outside to start our car so it would be warm. Shanon asked me to help find her keys....I started to walk towards the front door to see if her car was running. She accused me of wasting time and looking in the mirror when I was just headed to look outside to see if her keys were in the ignition. Then she made me pick up her lunch. She is psycho, I hate her."

It looks like everyone in the Murphy house has the Christmas spirit. Fa, La, La La La La La LA La.



Speaking of lunch, Maggie forgot her lunch that morning. I got a note from the cafeteria manager that stated that my child showed up without a lunch or money. She was given a cheese sandwich and white milk. I owe them $1.75 for the stale bread with cheese. The letter also stated that if my family was having financial hardships that I should please contact the church and they will refer me to the proper agencies to help. It also stated that they post lunch card balances every Thursday. Oh I'm sorry...I didn't check my lunch card balance first thing this morning? What was I thinking, that IS the most important thing that a working mother of seven has to do less than two weeks before Christmas.



I responded with, "Thank you for the compassion, shove your cheese sandwich up your ass, she didn't eat it anyway." (Or I quietly sent in a check) Are you kidding me, one forgotten lunch and they are ready to refer me to outside agencies?? Did they not realize that the whole house spent their morning on lock down with a crazy red headed lunatic on the rampage? No wonder Maggie forgot her lunch....she was afraid to get out of bed. If you want to refer me to an outside agency....How about Homeland Security? I am living with a terrorist.

Girls Weekend 2011

Some of my favorite people!

This weekend was a highly anticipated girls weekend with three of my oldest friends. We were headed to Kansas City to see Rick Springfield. We checked in to our hotel around 4:00 pm and started getting ready. My three friends all shared an apartment together in 1990. I spent a ton of time over there on the weekends. It was so much fun getting ready together, just like the old days. We used to wear tight Jordache jeans and stilettos. Sebastion spritz hairspray was used to cement our big hair into place.

We have replaced the hairspray with smoothing serum and flat irons. Gone are the Jordache jeans and stilettos. Now we wear mom jeans with spanks underneath and slippers that look like shoes...well not all of us, just one of us wore slippers (sorry Rhonda). I do have to admit that I did offer her $100 for her slippers at one point during the evening. I wore spiky heels to try to make myself look thinner. Once I saw the pictures I decided that they didn't make me look any thinner, but they did make me feel ancient when 5 minutes into the evening I was super jealous of Rhonda's slipper boots.

We had great seats at the concert, 3rd row center. The warm up band was called Drew6, the lead singer's name was Drew and they had 5 people in the band. They were pretty good but not too good at math. Rick was amazing as usual, he did not seek me out and ask me to run away with him. He is so shy, I know he was thinking it. I guess he will just have to wait to ask me until the next time he sees me.

We headed over to the KC Light District to have a few more cocktails. The evening became a little fuzzy from then on. I do know that a mechanical bull was involved and Rhonda aka slipper lady landed on me and snapped my neck a bit. The video clearly shows me holding her waist so tight that I actually pulled her off the bull right on top of me. We did sign a waiver first on an IPad. We typed our own names, we were a little unsteady at this point and I believe our waivers may have been under volkern and Rghoma instead of Colleen and Rhonda. I think I found a loophole for my neck injury lawsuit.

I learned who my real friends were this weekend. I got a little sick this morning. I never was a very good drinker and very rarely drink. My friends were all sleeping when I began dry heaving in the bathroom. Carrie jumped out of bed, found a clip to pull my hair back and got me a bottled water. Rhonda and Katie jumped out of bed as quick as they could to find the camera and the video setting on their phones.

We shared a ton of laughs and some of us, not mentioning who, but some of us got our money's worth out of our poise pads this weekend. I am so lucky to have such great friends. They don't have the same obsession with Rick Springfield as I do. They set time aside just for me. I am truly blessed. We have added a million more inside jokes to our high school vault of inside jokes. I can't remember a time that I have laughed so hard in a long time. Between the four of us we have 20 kids and 1 grandchild. Getting away for a weekend isn't easy. Without our wonderful husbands at home taking care of all our kids schedules and sporting events it would not have been possible.

I did get a lecture from Lauren the professional drinker on how it is not necessary to drink to have a good time and that there is absolutely no excuse to get myself in that kind of shape. I think she has my mom lecture quoted verbatim. At least she has heard me all these years, even if she hasn't always listened.