What Is Aphasia?

     What is Aphasia? …….Aphasia is a condition that robs you of the ability to communicate. It can affect your ability to speak, write and understand language, both verbal and written. That is the technical definition that I found on the web……

     To me, Aphasia is so much more. Aphasia is heartbreaking, sad, frustrating, unfair, and hilarious all in one. Watching a loved one search desperately for simple words isn’t easy. Often times I help by finishing her sentences. (I have been doing that for my husband for years.)  I know I’m not “helping” when I do this but I can’t help myself. I hate to see the pain in my daughter’s eyes as she searches for such a simple word.

     I have Googled the word Aphasia so many times that I think I have worn out those letters on my keyboard. There is no quick fix for Aphasia, trust me I’ve looked. Two years ago my daughter was hit by a car and had a portion of her left temporal lobe removed. Aphasia didn’t rear its ugly head until 6 months after her accident.  It was always there, but in the beginning we had bigger hurdles to pass before we were even aware of the Aphasia. Hurdles like; brain swelling, emerging from a coma, learning to hold her head up, sit, walk, swallow etc. My daughter is tougher than the average bear. She has faced every obstacle like a true warrior.

     Aphasia seems to be the obstacle that is keeping her furthest from the finish line. Just like an episode of Ninja Warrior, she has barreled through so many tough obstacles on the course of life. Aphasia is similar to “The Flying Shelf Grab.” She is so close, she makes contact with the shelf, but she just can’t hold on. She is undoubtedly a crowd favorite and has an army of supporters.  She will get this….I just know it. In true warrior fashion she will regroup and work hard to regain what was lost.

     I have watched in awe from the sidelines as the child I gave birth to emerged as such a fighter. She started life with an APGAR score of 3 and proved herself as a fighter on her very first day of life.  As a mother I have learned to roll with the punches and laugh when things aren’t always so funny. In the beginning when she was regaining the ability to speak she never called me by the right name. I was often referred to as “grandma” or “Jason” or whatever garbled sound she was able to make. I have spent hours in doctor office waiting rooms being yelled at in incoherent speech due to my daughter’s frustration. Again, I had to look to my sense of humor to manage as a room full of patients stared and wondered what the hell was going on in the corner of the waiting room.

     Things are still not easy; having a loved one who doesn’t always understand simple words is tough. The brain is so complex that even the experts stand back and scratch their heads. I am committed to finding the absolute best when it comes to rehabilitation for my kid. The problem with Aphasia is that no two cases are alike. There is no cookie cutter plan of action. Rewiring ones brain isn’t easy, especially when the main pathway to language (left temporal lobe) is not just damaged it is gone. It is similar to crossing a bridge that is no longer there. I am confident that we will find a way to either back up and find an alternate route or rebuild a bridge that is stronger than the original one. It will take some time but we are in this for the long haul.

     Brain injuries and Aphasia don’t give a clear-cut diagnosis. Experts can only say that patients continue to improve years after the injury. Rewiring the brain takes time and patience. No two injuries are alike and no one knows what makes one patient improve while another does not. Often times I field questions from people like; will she ever be normal? What I want to say is “Will you always be rude and stupid?”  Instead, I bite my tongue, smile and say; we are hopeful, and please continue to pray for her recovery.  I then say a quick prayer that this person gets a terrible case of explosive diarrhea next time she wears her favorite white pants.