Ryan came from school all excited yesterday. He said, "Guess what I did at school today?" I said, "You got a 100 on your social studies test?" He said, "No", "You won the spelling bee?" "NO" "UMM you got a home run in kick ball?" He said "no mom, even better, I fit a mitten over my head at recess!!!" Oh why didn't I guess that??? His endless talent never ceases to amaze me. I am so unbelievably proud!!

I spent half my morning trying to talk Maggie out of bringing my wedding album to school today for show and tell. She always wants to bring something "cool." I didn't feel the need to explain to the whole second grade class why Maggie's older sisters are actually in the wedding album. Thanks to my wonderful negotiating skills we went with the "rock" that she gave me from her camping trip this summer.

I spent two hours in Urgent Care last night waiting on sports physicals for Erin and Shannon. Erin needed hers by Monday so she can try out for soccer, Shannon needs hers in a few weeks for cheer leading. Last year we went on Sunday to get the physical, this year we are way more prepared. Had we actually planned ahead like normal people we could have went to her pediatrician and payed the 15 copay vs 35. Of course they all need new spikes to start soccer season. Kelsey's are held together by tape, Ryan's are two sizes too small and they don't make tape strong enough to hold Erin's together. Shannon has decided to hang up her soccer cleats in exchange for cheer leading. She exchanged one ridiculously expensive sport for one that costs even more. Fabulous!! Erin called me this morning and asked me the name of our insurance company. I said "Oh God, did you wreck the car again?" She said "No mom, our health insurance, you never filled that out on my health form for soccer." Whew!!!She scared me for a second!!!

Lauren came home on Monday to get her haircut. It still aggravates me that she has the same haircut as me. She looks just like me, minus the wrinkles, the fat, and the stray hairs growing out of her neck. Does she really have to steal my haircut??? She mentioned to Shannon that she was slouching in her chair at school and she caught a glimpse of her butt at that angle. She said, "Oh my God, my butt looked so flat, it looked just like moms. I went right home and did some squats." Shannon said "I would die if I had mom's butt." I said "Umm excuse me, I'm right here listening." I don't think they cared. I hope they both get my flat butt and the stray neck hairs someday.

I had Lauren take me to go watch Shannon cheer for districts in basketball. Sam had an intramural basketball game at 9:30 and I was meeting Dave there. I didn't want to have two cars. He was coming from Chesterfield with Kelsey. I had Lauren drop us off at Sam's college after Shannon was done cheering. It was quite the difference between the high school basketball and Sam's team. The name of Sam's team is the Sam-O show. She is so unique on the court that she had a whole team name after her. I'm thinking it's not because of her skills. The t-shirts even have a screen print picture of Sam on the front. When she was in grade school we used to play at a gym that had it's concession stand behind the basket, up a small flight of stairs on the stage. The problem was that my darling daughter has many qualities and a soft touch isn't one of them. She used to over shoot the basket and all the spectators sitting on stage would have their nachos and soda's flying. Watching the Sam-O show brought back memories of the flying nachos. She was upset that they lost, she never was a very good loser. We had to run by WalMart on our way home. Shannon needed blue poster board for school. My "flat" butt finally got home at 11:00. I am much too old to be be out past 9:00 but the Sam-O show was worth it.

Erin gave up going to Quick Trip for anything other than gas purchases for lent. Shannon is a little upset about this considering she usually gets a free QT donut every morning from her big sister. Shannon hasn't decided what she is going to give up yet. She said she was thinking about just trying to be nice but she thinks that might be too hard.

Yeah Hooray!!!!!! Our TV is finally fixed. It went out about a month ago. We have kept it unplugged hoping it would fix itself. No such luck. The TV came with the house and has a custom made spot in the wall. Replacing it wasn't really an option. The TV is 65 inches and it is 7 years old so it has the big speaker on the bottom. In order to replace it we would have to re construct the cut out in the wall and buy a TV stand for the bottom, not to mention the cost of a LCD or plasma big enough to fill the hole. We would have to sell one of our kids on the black market. (not necessarily a bad idea, Erin anyone????) Instead I had a repairman come out to the house. The poor guy was exposed to typical after school conversations. Shannon only told Erin that she hated her three time. Ryan made his specialty Ramen noodles after school. Erin asked for a bite and of course he refused. Erin found one frozen pizza in the back of the freezer. Ryan then offered her a bite of his Ramen noodles if he could have some pizza. Shannon had a friend over after school. She only wanted one piece of pizza, a soon as she mentioned that she didn't want her other piece, Ryan, Maggie and Erin practically attacked each other trying to be the first one to get the extra piece. This was the first time this friend of Shannon's has been over, I doubt she will be back. The whole time this family fun was going on, the TV repairman was 10 feet away working as quickly as humanly possible. I'm sure he couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. "Trust me buddy, I feel your pain."

Lauren's car is finally fixed, we picked it up this afternoon. We have an appointment on Tuesday to get the jeep fixed. I have a feeling we will become great friends with the employees at the body shop. Shannon will be getting her permit soon. That is if she ever decides to open the book and study. Dave tracked her down at Pizza Street when she was having lunch with her friends for her birthday. He went to the license bureau and picked up a drivers manual book for her to study. She just hasn't been able to find a spare moment since November to actually open the book. Come to think of it, I don't think she has found a spare moment to open any of her school books either.

Dave has put out a Murphy email challenging everyone to try and beat "the old man" in the St. Patricks Day Parade Run. I have a feeling "the old man" will have quite the bruised ego when the run is finished. Sam will be so determined to beat all of her siblings, she will probably place first overall. She is the same kid that would maul anyone who got in her way, just so she could be first out of the van and in the house. It didn't matter if you were big or little or if you could walk or talk, she was going to knock you down if she had to. It is of utmost importance to be first. She was Valedictorian after all!!!

It has been quite a week. You know the old saying, "If mamma aint happy, nobody's happy." Well the Murphy's used that expression with a slight twist this week. "If Erin's not happy, nobody's happy!!" She stayed home from school sick last Thursday and still has whatever it was that she had last week. She basically has the same symptoms as the rest of the house, cough, cold congestion, it seems that her and her father must be cut from the same cloth because she feels that she is the sickest kid in the history of the world. Now mind you this is the kid who underwent 8 major plastic surgeries, blood transfusions root canals, mono and wisdom teeth extractions. Heck she was eating chicken and garlic bread the same day she got her wisdom teeth out. She seems to have an unusually high tolerance for pain but when it comes to the big stuff but when it's something like the common cold she morphs in to a miniature Dave Murphy. She was off school Monday for the holiday and they were off school for some reason on Tuesday. She stayed home on Wednesday and braved the elements and went Thursday and Friday. We went to the doctor on Wednesday and she prescribed some antibiotics for her. Of course Erin's response was "see, I told you I was sick, even the doctor believed me." I don't think I ever argued the fact that she was sick I just didn't see the need for all the cruelty that was being enforced by Sybil to her siblings as a result of this debilitating illness. Last night she was begging me to call her dentist at 9:30 at night to get an emergency dental appointment because she had such a bad tooth ache. I explained that tooth pain is often a result of sinus infections. She refused to believe me until she looked it up on Web MD. She said "Oh my God mom, I have a maxillary sinus infection." I said "Oh God Erin, hurry up call 911. That is a fancy name for teeth, get over your self. Grandma gets on Wb MD with every ache and pain she has, she now has every kind of cancer, heart disease, endocrine problem, and she probably even has symptoms of gonorrhea. They need a tab for The Sky Is Falling for Erin and Grandma. Maybe I should have become a nurse my passion is overwhelming.

Ryan lost his winter coat sometime over Christmas break. We had been so many places it was hard to remember where he could have left it. He does this every year. He gets hot while he is playing, takes it off and forgets that he has it with him. He has been wearing one of his hoodies to school since he doesn't have a coat. We don't have any hand me downs that aren't girly so he has been just fine with his hoodie. Normally it's fine but there have been quite a few bitter cold days in Jan and Feb. Luckily on those days school has inside recess. I was on the phone with my sister this weekend and I walked in Ryan's room looking for Maggie's shorts to her soccer uniform that always disappear and what did I find hanging up in Ryan's closet but his missing winter coat. I could have died. My sister started laughing, she said "I hung it up when I cleaned his room for you at Christmas." The party we had when I was "taking one for the team." and throwing up, she helped me out by cleaning for me. My kid has went to school looking like an orphan for months and his coat was right where it was supposed to be the whole time. Fabulous!

I overslept two days this week and the kids had fifteen minutes both mornings to get ready for school. Poor Ryan my patience with his little, helpless self is normally pretty thin but try to cram in an hours worth of berating in fifteen minutes, that is quite a feat. Don't worry I'm a professional, I managed somehow. I think my wonderful maternal words of wisdom for the day were, Ryan you are lucky I'm not a violent person because I would love to hit you right now. The following morning I informed all my offspring, no one would be going to bed without picking up all of their mess from the night before. I was tired of waking up (late) to a messy house. The new rule would be strictly enforced starting today. Kelsey informed me that Ryan announced to the whole carpool that his mom said that she wanted to hit him. Ryan said "I did not, I only told Jason." Kelsey said, "Do you think no one else heard it." Well on the bright side if DFS shows up on my doorstep, thanks to the new rule the house will be clean.

Ryan stayed home from school sick today. I took a day off from work yesterday for a funeral so I couldn't take another day off. I left him home with grandma and had Dave come home for lunch to check on him. I called home to check in and Lauren answered. She said "Don't worry mom, I'm taking good care of him." I thought to myself, "That's exactly what I am afraid of. She spent the day educating him on the different impostor designer hand bags that she bought in New York. He now knows what the black market and retail prices are on most designer bags. Today was quite educational for him. I have a sneaky suspicion that next time he is sick he will crawl to school so he doesn't have to learn fashion facts all day." Grandma was a little upset, she felt all the girls in the fourth grade class at Assumption would be absolutely heartbroken that her perfect, incredibly handsome grandson wouldn't be attending the Valentine party today. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it is the same kid who went to school this week looking like he hadn't seen a bar of soap in months. I'm quite sure the girls survived without my little slob!!!! She gave Lauren money to go get him some lunch. He was not to pleased that she didn't get his burger plain like mom does. Nurse Nightingale was less than sympathetic to his needs. Dave said, Lauren is not a very good nurse. I explained that he is a husband in training, his wife will thank us someday. He is not going to be a carbon copy of his dad when he is sick if I can help it. Dave said "When I was sick as a kid, my mom would let me lay my head on her lap and she would scratch my scalp while she read the paper or knitted." I said, "good for her, I don't read the paper or knit and you are still helpless."

Dave came in to the living room and said "Call your oldest daughter and ask her who's autograph she is waiting in line to get?" I called and asked and she laughed and said, "Oh, I got out of line, I decided I really didn't want his autograph." UMMM Who???? She said "Ron Jeremy the porn star" Her college had a debate with a porn star and a minister and she went because she thought it would be interesting. She said the minister came off as intelligent and the porn star sounded like an idiot. Wow, that's a shock. I asked her why her college would even host such a debate, is it really a big question as to whether or not porn is bad??? She said it was in honor of Valentines Day. Oh why didn't I think of that, Saint Valentine/ Porn,what a connection. What is this world coming to????

I have a bad habit of not paying enough attention to my kids in the morning when I am in a hurry to get out the door. If they aren't fighting or asking for anything, I trust that they are ready for school. Don't get me wrong, we pass each other several times sharing a sink or a mirror or a hairbrush etc, etc. One of my many pet peeves with my only son is that he spends 30 seconds getting ready and falls back asleep on the couch. Today was no exception, when carpool came Ryan got up and walked past me. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that his shirt was a wrinkled mess and his hair was sticking up. I said "Ryan, your shirt is wrinkled and you didn't wet down your hair." He said, "I'm fine mom, I gotta go." I got home from work early today before the kids got home. Ryan walked in and as soon as I saw him I was horrified. That wrinkled shirt that I caught a glimpse of out of the corner of my eye this morning was not only a wrinkled mess but it was absolutely filthy. I said "Oh my God, was that shirt dirty when you put it on?" He said, "umm, I didn't have time to go down stairs and get a clean one this morning." Oh why oh why didn't I buy him a shock collar for Christmas instead of a unicycle? I said "you slept on the couch for thirty minutes this morning and you didn't have time to get a clean shirt, wet down your hair or tie your shoes?" He said "no and I didn't have any money left on my lunch card either, I forgot to give you the note yesterday, it was Papa Johns day and all they gave me was a cheese sandwich and a white milk because my lunch card had a zero balance." Oh that is fabulous, not only is my kid the smelly dirty kid, he is the "poor, hungry" smelly dirty kid. I told him that tomorrow he is going to school with a fifty dollar check for his lunch card and he is going to have the whitest crispest shirt in fourth grade. He better hope that he doesn't go back to sleep on the couch tomorrow morning. He might just accidentally get hit in the head with a skillet if he does!!!

Ryan decide that he was going to try and beat the pogo stick world record this weekend. Apparently the world record is 24 hours. He gave it great Murphy effort and made it 53 minutes. He tried to take a drink of water while jumping and fell after a valiant effort. When he came inside he was dripping with sweat and the inside of his knobby little knees were rubbed raw. I told him to go take a bath to clean his pogo stick injury. He decided he was going to search the Internet to find a different world record to beat that doesn't involve a Pogo Stick. Dave and I had two parties to go to on Saturday, three of his grade school friends were having a 40th birthday party and one of our good friends also had a 50th birthday party. I went to the 50th party and he went to the 40th. He told me he would meet up with me later if he left the party early. I didn't expect to see him, I figured we would meet up later at home. He had tried to call me several times to find out where the party was. I had left my phone in the car. He said he drove around to three different bars in Florissant looking for a white jeep with a smashed in front end. Third times a charm. He got there around midnight, my heart pitter pattered when he walked in. It is nice that after twenty years together, he's still got it. I sure hope he doesn't read my blog today.

Ryan came in our room this morning whining about the pain in his legs. His little attempt at stardom ruined him for life. He couldn't even walk without shuffling his feet. He practically crawled across the floor and climbed in bed with us. He said "I can't go to church, I can't move." I assured him, he would be fine. We usually go in through the church basement and take the stairs up to the church. The parking lot is at the bottom of a pretty steep hill. Ryan asked if he could take the elevator, I said "knock yourself out." A few minutes later he got in our pew giggling. He had Kelsey and Maggie with him. They tried to take the elevator but couldn't figure out what floor they were on. The elevator door opened and closed several times but the elevator never moved. I explained that if they hit floor number 1 and nothing happened, number two may have been a good choice. It seemed a little to complicated so they took the stairs instead. Today was anointing of the sick, instead of Dave crawling up the alter like I pictured last week, his pogo stick boy wonder wanted to crawl up there instead.

Lauren gets home from New York tonight, she had a really good time and made lots of good memories. She even had her two seconds of fame outside the window of the Today show. Sam is going on a fun trip for spring break. Me I'll just stick around here and watch my son try to break world records. What more could a girl ask for.

Erin had to leave for school early this morning, she had to pick up a girl that she normally doesn't take to school so she had to leave twenty minutes earlier than usual. She woke up this morning, glanced at her clock and panicked, she thought it said 6:30. She woke Shannon up and started yelling at her to hurry up they had to leave in two minutes. Shannon bolted out of bed and started getting dressed. Erin yelled at her to grab her skirt and finish getting dressed in the car. Shannon was still a little disorientated from being terrorized in the middle of her peaceful slumber. She looked at the clock, then flipped open her phone, it said 2:30 AM, her eyes were a little dry from her contacts so she flipped open her phone again and sure enough it said 2:30, she then said "how early do we have to be there?" Erin realized what she did and they both fell back into bed belly laughing. Poor Shannon, she was such an obedient little freshman.

The body shop called me today and gave me an estimate for Dave's car, it will be a little over 2,000 and Lauren's car is a little over 9,000. Thank God for insurance. Those Murphy girls are expensive. I had Erin take me to the shop to pick up Dave's car, we are going to wait to get it fixed until we get our tax refund. We have a $500 deductible. I thought Erin would kill me on the way there, it's amazing that she doesn't get in more accidents. She almost caused 12 on the quarter mile drive to the body shop.

Ryan got his contacts in this morning like a champ. Dave left this morning to go out of town. I was ready to kill him this morning when I went to brush my teeth and my toothpaste was missing. At least he doesn't take my make up and hair products like Erin and Lauren . That would be a whole new set of Murphy dysfunction if he did. Lauren called me at work to tell me she was taking my silk infusion (hair stuff) with her to New York because she was out. I told her that I needed it and she couldn't have it. She said "I already have it in a plastic bag." I said, "then take it out of the plastic bag." Why would I need beauty products, I'm old? Erin asked if she could sleep with me tonight and then she remembered that I snore and said Oh no, never mind. Like I want to get woken up at 2:30 am by a raging lunatic anyway.

Dave made it through the night even though he has the worst sinus infection known to man. I kept a phone by the bed, just in case he needed an ambulance. Later tonight if he is a good boy I will make him some chicken soup and read him a bed time story. I'm thinking maybe I will read him the story of "THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF." Lauren called me at work today all excited. She has been looking for a summer internship in the fashion industry. She got an email from Coach in New York, they want her to go there for an interview. They picked 80 applicants to be interviewed out of the several hundred that applied. They have 40 spots available. When I talked to Dave later I asked him if he had talked to her yet. He said "yeah, I'm just worried she won't be able to afford the rent in New York." I said, "Oh it will work out, she has talked about enrolling in some summer classes and staying in a dorm or maybe she could stay at a youth hostile, after all it is only three months." Dave said, "Have you met Lauren??" "I'm sure she is picturing a Manhattan apartment with a spectacular view, can you picture her in a youth hostile sleeping next to people who sleep in their own urine?" This could be an adventure for her for sure.

I took Ryan to the eye doctor tonight. Why can't my kids have good vision and straight teeth. So far Erin is the only one who hasn't needed glasses or braces. I guess God decided since he gave her so many lovely endearing personalities that he would help her see and give her a beautiful smile. I will remember to thank him for that in my prayers tonight, or maybe I will beg him to give her one pleasant personality and a snaggle tooth instead. I was afraid Ryan would have trouble putting contacts in but he did great. They had him put them in and take them out three times. When we got home he took one out and put it back in to show Maggie. Of course this along with everything else in the Murphy house became a competition between, Ryan, Kelsey and Shannon (mainly Kelsey) as to who learned how to put contacts in and take them out the fastest. Oh I sure wish our big screen tv wasn't broken so they could be couch potatoes instead of picking fights with each other. We have other TV's but they prefer to hang out in the kitchen and terrorize me.


Lauren leaves for New York on Wednesday. Mike surprised her with a new digital camera for her trip. She told him she loved him for thinking of her but didn't want him spending so much money. She said "I'll just use your camera and we can take this one back to save money." I said "Oh Lauren, you should have kept the camera.." When Dave and I were young he got me a beautiful pair of pear shaped diamond earrings to match my wedding ring. They were absolutely beautiful. I made him return them because I didn't want him to spend so much money. Saturday I had to borrow a pair of fake diamond earrings from my seven year old to wear to a black tie event. The earrings came on a piece of cardboard with 11 other pair of high quality earrings for $6.00. My ears are still itchy from wearing them. I sure wish I had those beautiful pear shaped earrings from 15 years ago. Lauren will think of this story someday when all she can afford is a Walgreen's disposable camera. Mom always knows best!! She has to be at the airport on Wednesday at 4:00 AM. I told Dave that sounds like a dad job to me. He reminded me that he is going out of town on business tomorrow so it looks like it is a mom job. I thought about it for a while and decided after 22 hours of labor with her, I deserve to sleep in. That sounds like a boyfriend's job. Sorry Mike, I like my sleep, she's all yours.

You know you have been married a long time when you get a night away from the kids in a nice hotel, and you are a bit disappointed when you open the door to your hotel room and only see one bed. I think we were both looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday morning with no soccer or basketball. Having a bed all to myself would have been awesome!!. The dinner we had on Friday was nice but I was ready to turn into a pumpkin by 11:00. Dave and I were both starting to get sick. We started sneezing in the car the whole way to Jeff City. Dave is always hot and I am always cold. I knew he would turn the air conditioner on as soon as I fell asleep. I woke up around 3:30 burning up. The air in our hotel was broken, it had two temperatures, warm and sweltering. Dave was awake, he had just got back from buying sudafed. He opened a window and we were finally able to get some sleep. The maid service came in our room around 9:00 and woke us up. I guess they wanted us to feel at home. We finally gave up trying to get some extra sleep. We got home around 1:30 on Saturday, I started working on our taxes. Ughhhhh. Dave never did get his W2, but I decided to do as much as I could without his.I finally started to get ready around 5:00 for our other function that we had. By this time, Dave and I were both feeling awful. Of course Dave was much worse than me, in fact I think no one in the history of the world has ever been as sick as my dear husband. We were running late as usual and it was a miracle that we made it there without me punching my whiny husband in the eye. He slept the whole time I worked on our taxes. Does he expect me to wave a magic wand and look perfect?? I could get ready as quick as him If my hairline receded as far as his has. We finally got to the dinner and had a good time and headed for home at around 11:00, that seems to be my breaking point. We had to stop at the grocery store on the way home so Dave could buy stronger sinus medicine. Sudafed just wasn't doing the trick. Finally we both got a good night sleep, I'm not sure if it was the new sinus medicine or pure exhaustion but whatever it was it worked and we both slept like babies. We slept late and went to noon mass. The priest mentioned that next week was anointing of the sick. I couldn't help but picture my husband crawling up the alter on his hands and knees next week in his bath robe for anointing of the sick. I made him some chicken soup and grilled cheese when we got home. I sure hope he pulls through this terrible illness. We went to a Superbowl party tonight. We were both a barrel of fun. NOT!!!!! The kids had a good time and it was nice to see so many of our friends but I couldn't wait to get home to my own bed. I sure wish I had someone to make me chicken soup and grilled cheese.