Ryan is excited because the school is having a spelling bee. The Murphy kids are all competitive whether it is a meatball eating contest or a spelling bee. They hear the word contest and start to foam at the mouth. Ryan has never been a good speller but insists that he will win the spelling bee. He has been walking around all week with his spelling book asking everyone in the house to quiz him. He was getting desperate so he asked Erin/Sybil, she responded with, "I would rather do ANYTHING else, other than help you study." He responded with, "OK, will you lick my belly button please?"He even got a little giggle out of her before she gave him a love pat/smack.

Shannon is officially 16, she is not going to try to get her license until she can drive a car without running a stop sign. She really struggles with that. She thinks they shouldn't be off to the side, she says it is confusing. She will be the first Murphy to pass on the first try if she can master the whole stop sign. She won't drive with Dave anymore so it is all me, I have never been one to take Prozac but I'm starting to re-consider. Her birthday was yesterday, I just took a seasonal job at Macy's for Christmas. I had training last night. I made Shannon's favorite dinner at 4:00 before I left, (fettuccine) I scarfed down around 1600 calories before I walked out the door to go to work. When I got home at 10, the dinner was still on the stove and everyone's plates were still on the table. That made me really happy:)

My Shannon turns 16 on Thursday, it seems like just yesterday I brought my little 5 lb baby home from the hospital. She was the perfect baby for the first three days of her life, she just laid there all bundled up as quiet as a mouse. When I brought her home, things started to take a nasty turn. Maybe it is because Erin almost bit her pointer finger off her first day home, I don't know if that caused the start of her crabbiness but it has been down hill ever since.

Sunday Shannon decided to make pancakes for her, Maggie and Ryan. She announced to everyone that she got first pick of the stack of pancakes that she was going to eat. Apparently Ryan missed that part of the conversation. He saw a stack of delicious golden pancakes on a plate and started ripping them apart with his hands like a barbarian. It would be way to difficult to use a knife and fork. Shannon happened to notice her perfect stack of pancakes that were now shredded and touched by her brother's less than sterile hands. At about this time she borrowed a psychotic personality from Erin. She was dangerously close to beating him with the spatula, he offered to give the pancakes back but for some reason she didn't want them any more. He got up from the table and ran as fast as he could. One of the perks of having six sisters is the ability to know when to run. She even turned to me and screamed, "You never discipline him, he gets away with murder." I said, "Shannon, what type of discipline do you suggest I give him for picking up the wrong stack of pancakes?, I'm thinking I may have to discuss this serious matter with your father before I punish him." He may have to miss Christmas this year.

When I told Erin the story her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She said, "That sounds like something I would do." I think Erin can go off to college now knowing that the torch has been passed. Shannon is starting to show promise when it comes to abusing Ryan.

This is my last week with the car, I can't believe how fast this month has flown by. I want to thank Chevy for helping me realize what a complete piece of crap I normally drive. If not for this promotion I never would have realized what a hunk a junk my van is. All kidding aside, this month has been a ton of fun and I know what my next car will be. Without a doubt, the Traverse will be at the top of my list!! As soon as that money drops from the sky!!

I am going to be on Great Day St Louis tomorrow morning, I should be upstairs getting my beauty rest but instead I am down here writing on my blog. I have never been on TV before, much less live TV, yikes!! I went shopping to find a new outfit for my two minutes of fame. I ended up with a purple argyle sweater and black pants. When I got home I re-read my email from the consulting firm that gave me tips on what to wear. Right there in black and white it said, "try to avoid geometric shapes." I think I must have took that to mean, run to the mall, try on 50 things that make you look like a complete cow, buy a sweater in a color that you never wear with diamonds all over it. Are diamonds geometric shapes??? I think I dropped geometry and took practical math. No wonder my son does so well in math. (NOT)

This is what I found when I got home from work. The trash men took the bag out of my recycling bin and set it in the driveway close to where I struggled with it in the morning to get it into the recycling bin. So I guess pumpkins aren't recyclable. Who Knew??? I decided to leave the ripped bag of pumpkins in the driveway for my husband to take care of when he got home. I wanted him to experience the joy of pumpkin goo like I did. I guess the Murphy Pumpkins are going in a landfill after all. Way to go Environmentalist Eddie!!! Maybe we should stick with using our recycling bin to hide Christmas presents like we usually do.

Call me crazy but if I was a husband and it was my job to take the trash out, I would probably set it close to the curb far away from my beautiful wife's car. I'm just saying...... Tuesday is trash day, I gently, ok not so gently reminded Dave to put the pumpkins in the trash. He had just heard someone saying how bad they were at the landfill so he thought it would be better to put them out Friday with the recyclables. OK, I don't know when my husband became an environmentalist but who am I to argue for the good of our planet. Today was recycle day, most people would put the recycle bin close to the street. Not my husband, he is afraid the trash company may scrape his precious grass when they pick up the bags so he put it behind my car off to the right a bit, just out of range of my rear camera on the car. Do I need to remind him of my track record? I hit the drive thru at the bank three times!!(in my van, not the mommy madness car)

I was running late as usual and heard a crunching sound as I was backing out, I pulled in front of my house and got out of the car. Boy Wonder Senior had put our old pumpkins in lawn and leaf bags. Not exactly durable containers for my driving. I scooped up as much of the pumpkin goo off the driveway as I could. When I tried to move the bag it kept splitting. I thought to myself, Oh, I am so lucky, I really love Dave, I'm so glad he didn't listen to me and put these pumpkins in the trash on Tuesday. Had he done that I would have never experienced the feel of ice cold pumpkin goo on my hands and clothes on a crisp fall November morning. I pulled our big recycling bin out of the garage and transferred the tattered pumpkin filled lawn and leaf bag in the bin. I went inside to change and went on my merry way. Good Times!!!

Most mornings are pretty hectic at my house. I try to spend as much time in my bathroom as I can to make sure Erin/Sybil has left the building before I come out to face my day. Little Maggie came in my bathroom while I was getting ready and said, "Mommy, you have a phone call." What she failed to tell me was that it was Erin/Sybil on the other end of the phone. I walked in the kitchen half dressed and picked up the phone. The hostile voice on the other end said, "You and dad need to talk to Shannon and tell her to stop being such a psychopath in the morning. I asked her VERY nicely to please hurry up and pack her lunch so we could leave." I could wager a pretty safe bet that if her own mother hides from her in the bathroom, she wasn't asking as nicely as she perceived. I responded with, "Thank you so so much for the parenting tip, I will take it under consideration and schedule your, I mean her shock treatments as soon as possible." I hung up the phone and told Dave why she called, I didn't realize that Shannon the psychopath was still in the house in earshot, as she was walking out the door to join Erin/Sybil in the driveway she said, "yeah right, I'm the psycho, I'm not the one on my period this week, she is."


Twenty minutes later I was driving my younger kids to school when my phone rang. I answered and heard a cheery voice on the other end. It couldn't possibly be Erin/Sybil could it. She wanted to know if she could take the car to Kansas City on Friday to watch her high school compete for the volleyball state championship. If she can work it around her shock therapy I'm sure she can go!!

Maggie ready to go!
Notice the Chevy Pumpkin!!



Ryan with his loot!

I hope this costume doesn't get replaced by an orange jumpsuit someday!






Halloween weekend was the typical soccer craziness. Adding Trick Or Treating in the typical Saturday mayhem was quite the challenge. Maggie and Erin were in a tournament in Illinois and Shannon had to cheer at volleyball districts. Dave was working at the tournament selling T-shirts until 5:00. I left with one of Maggie's teammates and had them drop me off at home so I could start getting her ready for Halloween. I dropped Ryan off at his friends at 5:30 and got a call from Dave around 5:45. Apparently my genius husband took his coat off and put it in the back of the mommy madness car. When he closed the latch it popped back open and he didn't notice until he was on the road. He closed the hatch and went on his merry way. I guess I shouldn't wonder why my son shows up to school naked when his father drives with the hatch open. What Boy Wonder Senior didn't realize was that his wallet fell out of the back of the car. He insisted on driving back to Edwardsville against my protests to look for his wallet. I suggested he call someone who was actually still there and ask them to look for it. Did Boy Wonder Senior think to maybe take the Halloween candy that I had in my car to give to Trick-or Treaters and bring it inside before he left? No why would he do that??







I had some candy at home but it was going quick. Kelsey had 7 friends over to go trick or treating and spend the night. I was running out of candy as the girls were getting ready. I am resourceful if nothing else so I yelled upstairs for them to hurry up and hit eight or nine houses and sprint back with with the goods so the Murphy's don't look like losers on Halloween. My only hope is that the girls don't go home and tell their parents what a complete mooch I am. Dave finally arrived home with the candy at around 8:00. Now I am stuck with all the candy I hid in the car because I knew if I brought it in the house I would eat it. We got a phone call around 9:00, someone found Dave's wallet and everything was intact. My faith in humanity is restored.







Erin left for a Halloween party in sweatpants, rest assured the bag she was carrying held her Skankajawea costume. I think I am glad I didn't see it, I 'm sure I wouldn't have approved!! Her and Shannon were off school today, Shannon had an early cheerleading practice and Erin was picking her up. I checked Shannon's online grades only to find that she is once again bringing laziness to a new level. I called Erin and told her that when she picks Shannon up from practice to bring her home to do homework. She is going nowhere until she has a B average. I talked to Erin a few hours later and I asked her where she was. She replied, "We are at O' Charleys." I said, "Didn't I tell you to bring Shannon home." She said, "It's not my fault she is lazy, I'm not about to pass up a free lunch with grandma just because Shannon doesn't study."







Sam called tonight to see if we were still on for our massage tomorrow for the mommy madness promotion. She asked, "are you excited?" I said not really, "I have to shave my legs tonight." She said, "not me, I don't care what they think, that's their job." Ok, now that I have that insight, I may sign in using a different last name so they don't realize the human gorilla belongs to me.