Surgery Sucks!!

Recently I spent some time sitting with some dear friends while their son  underwent an 8 hour brain surgery. My plan was to stop by the hospital, offer some support, stay a few hours and go on with my day. It was such an emotional roller coaster of a day, I couldn't drag myself away. They received the good news from the surgeon around 4pm that their son was doing great and his prognosis coudn't be any better. I hugged mom and dad and felt priveliged that I could be a small part of what  I'm sure was one of the most difficult days they will ever endure.

I had such a lump in my throat while sitting at the hospital, although I was very scared for my friends son, I couldn't help but being flooded with memories of the times that Dave and I spent sitting in a hospital waiting room hoping our baby girl Erin would be OK. Surgery was such a big part of our life from 1993 through 1997 it became our new "normal." I have tried to forget..... but it's part of our past and has formed us into the family that we are whether we like it or not.

When we (ok it was really just me)  decided to go ahead and fix Erin's scalp we thought it would be a one time thing. Dave just went along with what I said. He had "Yes Dear" down by the time princess Erin came along. The original surgery was a scalp reduction, the surgeon was unable to remove all the defect and suggested we wait 6 weeks and try tissue expansion to make new scalp to correct the area that was missing hair. This is the point where I wish I had my time machine to go back and decide that enough is enough and we would not be having more surgery. 2 surgeries became 4 then 6 became 9 and here we are at 12!

I have decided not to beat myself up over the decisions that I made...ok verbally I have stated I will no longer beat myself up....in reality, my heart still aches for my choices and I wish I had a do over.

Childrens hospital in St. Louis is an amazing place, Dave and I spent hours and hours pacing their hallways. They used to have this big waiting room with hard plastic chairs all around the perimeter of the room. To the left of the door was a countertop with coffee and a phone, a beige push button phone that rang all day. On the other end of the phone was always a nurse from the OR telling which family to come down to the double doors that lead to the operating room to meet with the surgeon.

I never thought about it until yesterday while waiting with my friends but Dave and I always sat as far away from the phone as possible. As much as we wanted to hear that all was good and she was finished....we were scared out of our ever living minds. I hated that phone and everything that went on on the other side of the double doors!!!

 On one particular surgery, things went way longer than expected. Dave and I sat and watched family after family, answer that stupid phone. We kept waiting for someone to say, "Murphy." We were always one of the first ones there and the last to leave. This particular surgery I remember as if it was yesterday. She was scheduled for 3 hours and we were creeping up on hour six. Dave and I were so young, not even 25 years old, we were too young and naive to demand better communication. I do not fault the hospital, they were concentrating on Erin. Dave finally went and asked someone to check and one of the nurses came out to explain that they had some complications and it shouldn't be much longer.  

When I finally got to see her, she was all bandaged up as usual with a big turbin of white, partially blood soaked gauze and tape. This time  she had an IV on each hand and one on each foot. It was so sad...they needed one for fluids, one for medicine, one for blood draws and one for blood transfusions. Each of her precious little hands and feet had a little square board under her IV's to keep them from bending. My heart hurts each time I think about it, she was only 3 years old.

I could go on and on about each of her 12 surgeries and list all of her complications. (trust  me, we had many) What compelled me to write about this today is to remember how I felt...... not so much what happened.

Sitting with my friends yesterday....I felt it again. I felt it for them and selfishly I felt it for me. It is a feeling I don't ever want to experience again. It is sheer panic, the best way for me to describe it is if someone jumps out from behind a corner and scares you!! You are panicked for a second and your heartbeat returns to normal. When your child is undergoing long tedius surgeries it is as if your heart is being held hostage in a state of panic for hours and hours. The word nervous is just not an appropriate enough word. It is sheer terror. Each spouse tries to stay strong for the other but in reality you would prefer to jump off a building to stop feeling so scared.

 It is what it is and it has molded us to be the family that we are today. It will always be a dark spot in our past. It has also helped Dave and I to learn to not sweat the small stuff. We have always been blessed to have kept things in perspective. Even though what we have experienced with Erin was difficult, we also met many families who have dealt with much worse. Erin was the type of kid who made it easy, she never complained. She is beautiful inside and out.


This has helped mold my beatufil Erin to make the decision to become a nurse. Erin is almost 21 and she only has a year and a half left of school until she becomes an RN. There is not a doubt in my mind that she won't be the most loving compassionate pediactric nurse St Louis Childrens Hospital has ever seen.

Unfortunately Erin's health issues are ongoing and we can't predict whether or not she will need more surgery. She did have a 12 year break from the time she was 5 until 17 without complications. Her last procedure was in May of this year and I would love to say it gets easier but it doesn't.

I couldn't be more proud of my little nursing student!!

Just when you think I'm gone for good....BAM I come out of nowhere!

 I have had nothing to write about for months. My family is perfect and my girls are complete angels, they never fight and Ryan has straight A's and all of his teachers adore him.


Oh wait, I think that was a dream I had the other night about my imaginary family. In reality...Dave is still quirky, Sam has a new job(good thing), Lauren was without power in NYC thanks to hurricane Sandy, Erin still calls twice a week complaining how hard school is, Shannon calls three times a week to let me know that her head hurts or her throat hurts or to tell me she smuggled a kitten in her dorm room (does she even like cats? ) Kelsey can't make a decision on where she may want to go to college and apparently it is somehow my fault, Ryan was flunking math....brought it up to a C in two weeks after I threatened to kill him, Maggie is still sweet as ever....waiting for that shoe to fall!

I am working at Macy's again for the Christmas season, I really just wanted the discount....not sure I want to work. Oh wait isn't that what is wrong with this country? I guess I can suck it up and put a big smile on my face and spread holiday cheer.

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I am excited to have most of my babies at home. Lauren won't be able to join us for Thanksgiving or Christmas so it won't be the same. On the bright side we will not be doing our annual dysfunctional Christmas card this year. No worries, I will figure something out, somehow I will get a Christmas card out that shows the happy family!

Dave is adjusting to his new job, he travels a lot which means I get my bed, my thermostat and my remote all to myself....I really miss him when he is gone.

Ok so maybe I do miss him, but not as much as the kids. Normally he is only gone a day or two. On the weeks that he is gone 4 or 5 days....rarely...Ok often times I resemble Linda Blair in the Exorcist when I am on day 4 without any moral support from the one who helped me create all these idiots I live with.(kidding....kind of)

Yesterday we had an especially crazy day, I only had a few minutes to change clothes after work, grab Ryan at school , go back home and pick up Kelsey, drop Ryan off at his other soccer practice 30 minutes away, pick up a gift card to bring to Kelsey's Cross Country Banquet and get to the banquet by 6.

When I picked Ryan up he suggested he stay home from practice to make things easier. His practice was just club training and he didn't mind missing. I thought, "That would really make my life easier." Dave had to get Maggie to her practice at 6 and he had a parade committee meeting for the St. Pats Day Parade. Earlier,Grandma had graciously agreed to pick Ryan up from his practice at 7 pm.

I made it to the banquet just 10 minutes late and watched everyone eat the scrumptious food. ( I am back on Medifast) During the coaches speech I could hear my purse vibrating, I stepped outside and called grandma back. I had 4 missed calls. She told me she couldn't find Ryan. I was a little aggravated and said, "He is always the last one off the field, he will find you." Twenty minutes later she called back and said, "Do you think he could have went home with someone else?" I said,  "No, but I will call Dave and ask him to call his coach." (I didn't have the coaches number.) Dave didn't answer his phone and I was starting to get furious with Ryan, then I thought to myself, "I don't remember telling Ryan on the way to practice that grandma was picking him up, then I remembered Oh Shit, Ryan didn't go to practice." No wonder I didn't remember our conversation on the way there....he wasn't in the car.

One of these days I will have this parenting thing down to a science...I may even learn to say Oh Goodness instead of Oh Shit!!

 

So many of my faithful followers remember that I was part of a cool
contest in 2008 called mommy madness. I got to drive a Chevy Traverse
for a month, go on cool mommy missions, make videos and blog about the
car.(the kids broke the video camera)

I ended up winning the contest and receiving 4 nights at the Westin and
$400 in American Express gift cards. I gave half the prize to the girls
high school for their auction and have been patiently waiting to use
the other half for a much needed weekend get away.

We made reservations two months ago and were afraid we would have to
cancel due to Kelsey playing in the Mo State high school soccer final.
Unfortunately she lost in double overtime to our arch rival  and
cleared the way for her parents to have a "perfect" weekend.

Dave wanted to go to a nice place for dinner and wear a suit. Honestly
I was a little bothered. I mean come on.....after 22 years I am pretty
much a sure thing. No need to wine and dine me but ok I'll wear a dress
and cram my feet in some horribly uncomfortable shoes.

When we sat down at the table my phone rang, I felt a little awkward
answering a phone in such a nice restaurant. It was Shannon informing
me that I left the hotel gift certicate on the kitchen table.  Things
were starting out fabulous. Sam had texted a few times during dinner.
Dave had told her he was sending his last text for the weekend. Unless
someone's  head falls off, he would prefer not to hear from anyone.

Saturday we went to the Botanical Gardens, we paid $24 for a little
chinese man who didn't speak a word of English to draw our portrait.
Dave ended up looking chinese and i have no idea who the woman in the
portrait with him is?

We had dinner and then went to Lumier for a little gambling. Our plan
was to use the American Express gift cards to gamble with. They would
not accept a card without a pin....so much for that plan. I did end up
winning $240, I was happy.

I wanted to hang out by the pool all day Sunday and just relax and get
some sun. Apparently the Westin doesn't have a pool. Plan B, we went
shopping out to lunch then had ice cream. We decided a little after 5
it was time to head back to reality whether we wanted to or not.

Ryan was sleeping when we got home, he woke up and was a litte
distraught. Erin/Sybil had lost  all patience with Ryan and tortured
him on most of the day Sunday. Later she claimed she tried her best but
couldn't contain herself anymore. Glad I left him in such good hands.

By seven a clock I was not feeling well, Dave also felt a little sick
to his stomach. We assumed it was because we ate so much. By 8 o'clock
I had a full out bathroom episode that made the scene in Bridesmads
look like something out of a Disney princess movie.

Dave followed suit shortly after me. We must have had some type of food
poisoning.I heard Dave lecturing Erin  when she got home about being so
mean  to her brother. I was busy throwing up so I didn't hear the whole
conversation. A while later Erin came downstairs and asked for a roll
of toilet paper. Dave tod her , "no, we need it." She said,"do you
really need all of it." he said, yes." and we did! She told me the next
day, I could hear the sense of urgency and decided not to push the
issue and got some toilet paper from grandma. We both were sick all
night, what a way to end a weekend. "We're sexy and we know it!"

I left work a little early Monday so I could take nap. I was dehydrated
and still didn't feel well. I should  have known I would end  up with a
few yappy kids in my bed, they claimed they missed me over the weekend.
So much for a nap.

Kelsey called around 10pm to see if she could spend the night at her
friend Tori's house. I told her fine. A couple hours later she called
to tell me she had been in an accident. Shannon heard me on the phone
and came downstairs. I asked her how she beat Kelsey home, they left
work at  the same time and Kelsey's friend lives closer to their work?

That is when Shannon told me Kelsey went to her friend's  party 40
minutes the other way before heading back to Tori's house. She got
lost, ran a stop sign and crunched up the car. I was thankful she was
safe so I could hurt her myself when she got home. Technically she
didnt lie, she jut failed to give a full disclosure of events. I am
always trying to look at the bright side. This is our fourth accident
in three years.....Ryan will be driving in just 2.5 years....oh goody


Seriously though I had a great weekend with Dave,despite the explosive
diarrhea and head spinning vomiting. I still adore my "village idiot"
and cant wait for the next 20 years. Hopefully the next 20 years, more
birds fly the coup and don't ever come back. I'm kidding.......kind of!!


My kids do stupid things but they are "normal" growing pains that every
teenager goes though. It's just that some parents were young and stupid
and didn't plan well and had a baby every two years not realizing they
were really just building a financial empire for State Farm.

I would admit that this weekend was a great way to finally cash in on
my Mommy Madness prize, it took over two years to use it, my life is
truly Mad!

Crazy Erin/Sybil is back home. She had her surgery consultation last Friday. To make a long story short she is having surgery tomorrow to shave down the rest of the extra bone on her skull. Her surgeon thought tissue expansion was too risky and the success rate for cosmetic improvement was at 50%. The possibility of complications was not worth the risk. We scheduled surgery as soon as possible so we can get it over with. The nurse booked the OR while we were waiting there in the office, I could have done without her ordering the cranial drill in front of my daughter!!!!

She has been a psychopath for lack of a better word for the past few days. In her defense she is very frustrated with having surgery after surgery. This will be her eleventh. I received a text from her yesterday telling me how my children had no respect and they won't listen to her and she is tired of them telling her they dont like her. She expects them to come home from school run upstairs and start cleaning their rooms. Ha Ha now that is FUNNY!!!! She came downstairs Sunday with a huge laundry basket full of clothes that she was bringing out to our trash can. I asked her where she was going and she said, "These are Shannon's clothes, she doesn't deserve them." I difused the bomb and talked her off the ledge. I explained that she couldn't just throw her sisters clothes away because her drawers aren't perfect. If Erin's boyfriend sticks around after this surgery he should be canonized. We are all a little afraid of her this week.

Kelsey started her job this week at Dozzles frozen custard. Shannon is a shift leader there. Translation....Kelsey better OBEY every command from her shift leader or there may be troubles ahead. Kelsey told me yestersay, "Mom did you know I will only make like $25 a day?" I said, "What did you expect to make serving frozen custard?" She said, "I don't know, I liked my other job better, it was so much easier." Umm What job? She said, "The one where I say, Mom can I have $20?"

Dave is officially unemployed, doesn't have a car or a phone. He turned in his compamy car and cell phone on Sunday. He starts his new job next Monday. Kelsey had a soccer game yesterday and her uniform was in the back of her car somewhere in the St. Louis metropolitan area. She called me frantic. Dave was at a YMCA golf tournament. Kelsey drove to every golf course in St. Charles looking for her car. I finally suggested she call the YMCA and ask them where the tournaament was located. Unfortunatelly for us it was at Forest Park. Plan B...call your coach and ask her to bring an extra jersey. Dave finally called me from a friend's phone and I told him about the soccer uniform. He left the tournament and showed up on a white horse AKA white jeep just in time for number 9 to play her game.


Our dog Seamus has a tumor on his leg. Dave took him to the vet for me. Seamus is a little on the plump side and I assumed it was just a fatty tumor. Dave called me today from the vets office with the sad news. the dog has cancer and needs surgery. They will know more after surgerybut they ca tell by the ulceration that it is malignant. At this point we are just hoping it hasn't spread. Erin's surgery is tomorrow and Seamus is having his on Thursday. I don't think this week could be any shittier.

 Oh wait, Kelsey and the shift leader arent home yet. I am sure there will be some terrible mishap yet to come. For example, Kelsey is too stupid to make a proper swirl on an ice cream cone.

Today my wonderful husband turned 43. I told him this morning that I didn't want to get him some meaningless gift. Instead I thought that maybe some type of donation in his name would be better. Soooooo I plan on going shopping this weekend and getting a killer outfit in his honor. Happy Birthday Honey!

So Kelsey's soccer coach scolded her after the last game when she coughed uncontrollably during the after game speech. Kelsey went to get her inhaler and her coach told her, "Sure that's going to help, come on Kelsey, you need to see a doctor, you keep using your inhaler and  you aren't getting any better." I guess she doesn't remember the Murphy rule that you need to have a bone sticking out of your body before you see a doctor. Remember when Maggie was blind and Dave wanted to eat tacos before we went to the hospital!

I made her an appointment and grandma brought her. She registered a 3 on the breathing meter. They gave her a breathing treatment and want me to call the office next week. If no improvement is shown she would like to refer her to a pulmonary specialist. She told Kelsey, you must have not had too many problems with your asthma, we haven't seen you in 2 and a half years. Kelsey wanted to tell her, "no, I just have the worst mother in the world." the doctor also told grandma that ALL of the kids are past due for physicals. Mother of the year 2012......I can feel it!

Ryan was chosen to go on a field tip as part of an enrichment program with the robotics program. By going on this field trip he will be considered to be part of the Lego robotics team next year. He is ready to die, I am making him go. He is having a hard time believing being smart is "cool" and that it is an honor to be selected. I think he would rather go to school in Shannon's prom dress than go on this field trip.

 He cleaned off his "cool" Nike's tonight and burned a hole in the toe trying to blow dry them so he could wear them tomorrow. He stormed upstairs and I could hear him throwing things around in his room. He is so mad at himself  about ruining the expensive shoes that I paid for and mad at me for making him go to a quote "dorky" Lego robotics field trip. I asked him what was going on in his room  and he told me he was just throwing away some clay things that he no longer wants. Sure by ricocheting them off the wall and then hitting the trash can. I exhibited some of my award winning parenting skills and told him to shut up and quit acting like such a little jerk. It's not my fault he doesn't know how to blow dry expensive shoes.

Shannon called me to tell me that her teacher sent her to the dean of students today to check out her uniform. She had a hole in her tights and apparently that is a very serious infraction for a Senior on her last day in uniform? Seriously? He wasn't in his office so Shannon conveniently "forgot" about going back. She may have to wear her uniform on an out of uniform day now! Never Boring!

Oh yeah and her room is still a mess.

Lauren came home last weekend for a wedding, she is the forever bridesmaid. Apparently I am the forever bridesmaid's personal assistant. She woke me up bright and early and asked me if I was ready to go? Hmm, let me see it's 7:30 am on a Saturday, I am still in bed....sure I am ready. We stopped to pick up bagels and headed to the Chase Parc Plaza so she could get ready with the bride as well as the other bridesmaids. She encouraged me to Park at the meter because they are "free" on Saturday. I trusted her, after all she used to work there. She looked beautiful and they all headed for the church. I decided to skip the wedding and head to Nordstrom Rack to find a new dress for the reception. I noticed a green ticket stuck to my windshield blowing in the wind on my way home. So much for the free parking.

  When I arrived home Dave was asleep. Perfect....so much easier to sneak a new dress in the house when he is asleep. Later when we were ready to leave he said, "You look pretty." I said, I found this dress in the back of my closet, isn't it pretty? Some days it's like taking candy from a baby.

Erin has been experiencing a lot of pain since her last surgery. We have made the difficult decision to go head and schedule tissue expansion this summer. For those of you that have known us a while you have walked this all to familiar journey with us before. For those of you that don't know, google tissue expansion. It's horrible for lack of a better word. We have a consultation on May 4th with her surgeon. If we move forward with surgery, we are looking at a minimum of 2 surgeries. That will be surgery number 11 and 12 but who's counting? Erin is a little moody these days and has decided she will be locking herself in the house this summer. She even has a plan for Shannon's graduation party. She plans to lock herself in grandmas room so no one can see her. I told her not to worry, I will slide some food under the door. we will worry about that later but I will not let her hide away.

Dave accepted a new job, we are excited about this new opportunity but a little nervous. He has been at his current company for 17 years. We went to dinner Friday to celebrate. While at dinner I received texts from Erin stressed about her upcoming surgery then moments later Kelsey texted me from Kansas City to let me know her high school soccer team lost in overtime, she didn't get to play much and her asthma is so bad she can barely breathe. She used her inhaler 8 times and it hasn't helped. I motioned for the waitress and ordered a bottle of scotch, I told her no need for a glass just to please pour it directlydown my throat.

Ryan had a baseball tournament this weekend. I skipped this mornings game and let Dave take him. It was a little too cold and rainy for me. Later in the day Dave received a text from the coach that said, "I have Ryan's helmet and glove, I'll bring it to practice on Tuesday....I love that kid. Dave texted back.....good, he is available for adoption if you are interested. We bought Ryan a bag of peanuts last night to bring to his game. Dave said after the game he handed him the bag of peanuts in front of all the parents and said, Here dad, can you please hold my nuts?" Mr funny man was so worried about making everyone laugh he forgot his $100 glove.

Dave and I went grocery shopping yesterday. I am still on my diet so I don't exactly enjoy the grocery store. Last time I sent Dave to the store I asked him to just pick up a head of lettuce. He pleaded for me to go with him. I said, "are you serious? How hard can it be to buy a head of lettuce?" he looked at me panicked and said, "it's really hard punkin, remember when I bought cabbage instead of lettuce?" Shannon called me on our way to the store and asked me to pick up instant mashed potatoes. She is weird. She likes them better than real. At the store I grabed a box of potatoes and started to put them in the cart. Mr Asberger grabbed my arm and said....wait, those don't say instant. I said, "Dave, they are in a box,do you really think there are real potatoes in here?" I shook the box, threw it in the Cart and said, if they aren't instant honey, I will peel them for you and boil them before I serve them."

I texted Shannon on Saturday and told her she needed to clean her room, no exceptions. I found a pair of my sweatpants in her room that have been missing for 6 months. When I told her she said eww, I would never wear those they are ugly. Well that is fine but do you need to hold my "ugly" sweatpants hostage for 6 months. Of course in perfect Shannon style, her room is still a mess. I wouldn't let her go out on Saturday. It is now after 5 on Sunday, the sloth upstairs aka Shnnon has not moved in the last 3 hours. Looks like I may be taking her place at prom on Friday. That dress will look fabulous on me!

My broken defrosters turned into a broken heater core. Apparently the windshield was covered with antifreeze. No wonder we couldn't see. 1000.00 later, the jeep is road ready again. Shannon decided to brilliantly tweet what a bitch her mother is......so not cool. I guess she thinks a good mom would bake her cookies for flunking religion. Of course this bitch is not only a bitch but she is a smart, sneaky bitch and found out. I am now the proud new owner of an I phone. I thought about putting a bullet in it like the dad on UTube but I don't own a gun. She has brought her gade up to a C....but the twitter problem has kept her out of my good graces. We are going prom dress shopping soon so I am sure she will be killing me with kindness. I am the bank.

We haven't seen Kelsey much lately. It is now high school soccer season, combined with her social life and the fact that she can drive, Kelsey sightings have been scarce. Shannon told me that she was in a friends car behind her on the highway once and she almost hit every car on the highway. Her guardian angel must be exhausted.

Dave and I went to the mayors charity ball on Saturday. In typical quirky Dave fashion he didn't give me much notice. He never received actual tickets to attend so he wasn't sure the chairman received all his information. He has issues with trusting people will follow through. Remember this is the man who refuses to go through a drive thru......he doesn't trust the speaker. He likes to see the fast food employee touch the buttons.

My roots are a little dark and I had nothing to wear. I hate wearing panty hose and my legs are really white. Maggie had a game at 2:00. We dropped her off at 1:30, we went to Walgreens so I could get stuff to do my nails and I picked up a pair of panty hose. I haven't worn panty hose in years. My legs are usually tan. I bought size Q.......holy crap. Queen, when did that happen? Shannon was with us so she weaseled some beauty products as well as candy out of us. $60 later,we headed back to the game. I gave myself a quick manicure during the game.

When we got home I had about an hour to turn into Cinderella. My red roots were bothering this blonde momma but there was no time to foil my hair during a soccer game. I have a red dress that luckily fits this "Queen.". I was standing in front of the mirror putting me earrings on when the village idiot came up behind me and fixed my bra strap that was peeking out the side of my dress. The way the dress is made has thick gathers in the bust line of the dress. I told Dave, I don't really have a bra that doesn't show a little. I may not wear one. Dave looked at me and said "punkin do you really think you still have the firmness to get away with that?"

He still has a heel mark from my shoe in his forehead.

Erin made it back to Mobile after her Mardi Gras trip to New Orleans. I saw several pics of her on Facebook with large cups of kool aid looking like she was having one heck of a time......not sure if ice and a straw were the only other ingredient in her kool aid?

She called me when she got back and told me her head really hurt and she had been crying the night before. She is only three weeks out from having surgery on her skull and apparently going to New Orleans having handfulls of beads chucked at her head all weekend wasn't the smartest move. She didn't get a whole lot of sympathy from me.

She was cleared to resume soccer after 3 weeks. She was unable to run due to the pain. From what we can figure, whenever she does something that causes increased blood flow to her scalp, it causes unbearable pain. She can feel her pulse in her scalp when she runs. Sadly we have decided it would be best for her to listen to her body and take the spring season off.

Shannon has hit a new low and had a 19% in her marriage and commitments religion class. Dave told her to please, please bring her grade up because she is causing problems in his marriage and commitment because his wife is a raging lunatic because her daughter is flunking religion. She texted me today to let me know she has brought it up to a 55%. I'm thinking about having a pizza party to celebrate......maybe buy her some new clothes? She keeps asking to go prom dress shopping.......Hellooooooo a 55% does not even give cinderella a glass slipper much less a new dress.

Kelsey and I took a road trip to Cincinnati this weekend for soccer. It was nice to get away but there is no place like home. I cheated on my diet a tad. Next to the soccer fields was a Mello Mushroom, Erin took us there in Alabama, I am not much of a pizza fan but Mello Mushroom pizza is awesome. I decided that August is a long way to wait until I am back in Alabama. I was tired of eating powdered food anyway.

Erin called me today and asked if Kelsey was having boy troubles? I said, "not that I know of why?" She said, "oh Kelsey's tweets on Twitter are usually sad because of some boy or another and Shannon's tweets are usually about how much she hates her parents especially you." Fabulous...I am so in tuned to my girls.

Lauren has another date with a new guy. She stalked him on facebook and took a pic of the computer screen and texted it to me so I could see what he looked like. The creepy stalker girl in the reflection taking a picture of the picture was hilarious. She didn't even notice her reflection in the picture when she sent it to me. Her job is going well and she is loving NYC. She's got guts...No way could I leave my comfort zone.

Shannon's defrosters quit working....I drove her car to QT tonight to pick up Kelsey. I drove the whole way by memory, defrosters are kind of important. I guess Shannon was too busy studying to notice her defrosters were broken?

Woo Hoo Kelsey got her license today. She flunked on her birthday but passed barely today. She got a 73....3 points away from failing. We told her it didn't matter, whether she got a 73 or a 93 she still gets to carry a valid drivers license. I called State Farm immediately after I hung up with Kelsey. We have 4 drivers now with just 2 cars. They weren't sure which car to put Kelsey on. She asked if she could do a little research and call me back. I pictured her hanging up and popping a bottle of champagne....surely the whole office will be getting a raise now that the Murphy's are adding another new driver. I wonder if they made a spread sheet to pass around to place a bet on how long it will take Kelsey to crash in to something? She called me back to tell me my new rate....let's just say the insurance on the jeep alone is similar to what the actual car payment was. Funny...I paid the jeep off today! Even though Erin is listed as a part time out of state driver, she is listed on my car. Shannon is listed on the jeep and we will not qualify for the Steer Clear driving discount due to Shannon's accident. Apparently the discount isn't per kid it is per car. When I got off the phone with State Farm, I texted Erin and Shannon and recommended that if they ever decide to have children it would be best to space them at least 6 years apart so they can afford their car insurance. I then said.....scratch that, become lesbians and get a cat.

Maggie has been on house lock down due to her lack of effort in school. She has worked really hard these last couple of weeks. I checked one of her English papers and changed all of her answers. Imagine my surprise when she got a 50%. She couldn't wait to tell me when she got home from school.....again, I am just here to be a trophy wife. This Seven kids thing just happened. So now it may take a little while longer for her English grade to go up.....5th grade is hard.

The girls had the father daughter banquet tonight. The picture above is of sweet little Shannon completely annoyed with Kelsey during the photo shoot.The girls looked really pretty and their date was gorgeous!

Sent from my iPad

Last week was very stressful. Erin's surgery went well but it was emotionally draining. She is back in Alabama and starting to feel better. She was insistent of flying back to Alabama on Saturday, she could barely walk she was so weak. I would have preferred she stayed home a few extra days to get her strength back but what do I know??

I was able to get a special pass to go to the gate with her and the airline provided a very unfriendly escort to push her in a wheel chair. I was randomly selected by TSA agents for a pat down and special screening. It made me feel extremely safe that the one person they randomly selected isn't even boarding a plane? Erin was in a lot of pain and was really crabby. I texted her boyfriend after she got on the plane and warned him.

By Wednesday she was finally starting to feel a little better. She has a fellow nursing student that has been helping her wash her hair and will take her to the Doctor to have her stitches removed. That makes me feel a little better...I feel pretty helpless being so far away from my baby.

Shannon and Kelsey have been as busy as usual. They have the Father daughter banquet this Friday and Kelsey has sophomore dance on the following Friday. In true Kelsey fashion she hadn't even thought about what she might wear to either event. I had to pick her up after soccer practice at QT to meet her ride. I brought Ryan with me so we could head to the mall after picking up Kelsey to get his new shoes as well as try to find Kelsey a dress. The only shoes Kelsey had with her were her soccer spikes and her hair was a little disheveled. That is not unusual for Kelsey....she tends to resemble a "hot mess" quite often.

We hit every shoe store in the mall until Ryan finally found the shoes that he wanted. We tried a few stores for Kelsey and found a dress that we liked. Actually I am not sure if she really liked the dress or the $5 hideous fuzzy purple slippers that she found. I told her I wouldn't buy them unless she found a dress, I wasn't waiting in line for 10 minutes just to buy a pair of ugly slippers. Suddenly the dress that she found to be OK became adorable so she could get the slippers.

She had Shannon pick her up at the mall and take her back to school for the teacher talent show. As we were standing outside waiting for Shannon she asked if she could have money for food. She had spent the night at her friends house. Her friend doesn't eat breakfast and she buys her lunch instead of brown bagging it. Kelsey had no breakfast or lunch and then had soccer practice, she was starving. I said "Why didn't you ask Shannon to bring you something from home before she picked you up?" (I just spend $300 at the grocery store) She looked at me like I was crazy and said,...."Do you actually think I would eat anything that Shannon touched?" How silly of me...I thought you were hungry?

When the girls got home Shannon came in my room to let me know how the talent show was and to tell me that she used the whole $40 I transferred in her account for gas. She was appalled because Kelsey tried to talk her into only getting $3o and using the rest for McDonald's. I let Shannon know how much I appreciated her integrity and reminded her to polish her halo before she went to bed.

So today is one of those days where I really wish I was single somewhere drinking Mai tais on a beach with a cute cabana boy refilling my drinks.

Erin called me this weekend sad about her upcoming surgery. She called me Saturday morning and said, "Mom, I cried last night about my surgery....I was really drunk though." I said, " oh that's nice honey." just kidding, I actually said, "umm Erin, last I checked you were 20 not 21." ah college life, what happens in Alabama stays in Alabama. Why can't you at east act like you are a rule abiding kid like Sam and Lauren used to do?


Shannon made the honor roll for the first time in her high school career. I'm not sure what happened there but I was very excited. Shannon hung up the honor roll list on the fridge as soon as it came. Seniors are listed on one side of the paper and sophomores on the other. Kelsey and Shannon battle every day on what side is showing on the fridge.
Shannon got accepted into Mo State she is happy. She is working on finding a room mate. Good luck with that. Psychotic red head searching for a room mate. I will have an empty bedroom for the first time in years.

I checked Maggie's grades today online. I'm not sure what she is doing at school once I drop,her off? From the looks of her grades it appears as if she walks in the school building and immediately walks out. This is not the first time we have had issues with her grades. The first thing to go was her Itouch and next was basketball and soccer. When I talked to her she was really upset. She is always my happy go lucky kid who rarely needs correcting. It broke my heart to have to come down so hard on her. When I was done with my lecture, she asked between sobs if she could take the gate down so the dog could come with her in her room so they could hug? I think I need a hug. I have a large case of working mothers guilt.

Kelsey turns 16 tomorrow. Dave and I went to a parking lot to give a quick lesson on parallel parking. Dave brought home cones from work. While he set up the cones I figured I would show Kelsey the proper way to parallel park. When I backed over the cone I told her to pretend that didn't happen. She actually did really well and mastered parallel parking with ease......it's the actual driving part that scares me. Murphy girls tend to flunk the driving test on the first go round so I wish her luck tomorrow. I have a mint chip ice cream cake ordered to celebrate her passing or to cheer her up for flunking.

I was looking for Kelsey's birth certificate to bring along to the DMV tomorrow. I came across the first letter Dave had ever written me. We had been dating for just two weeks. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was so sweet, In the letter he told me that after 2 weeks he already felt like I was his best friend and that it was so strange that it seemed impossible. He also said that he had a great feeling that if I stuck with him that great things would happen. The paper was old and tattered....not sure why because we are so young. It's funny looking back we had hopes and dreams and a vision of what we thought our future might look like. We never Invisioned seven kids. Thank God someone up above had great plans for us. I am so happy I met and fell in love with the Hanley Hills village idiot. All those crazy little quirks wouldn't be near as cute on someone else.

I think I really needed to find that letter tonight to realize just how lucky I am. Even though I have one kid with a pretty serious medical issue (and a drinking problem) and another kid giving absolutely no effort to fifth grade and my car insurance rates are on the verge of tripling....I am incredibly lucky. I love my husband so much more now than i did back then, I amido blessed to have him in my life, I can say that because I know he will never see this. He claims that he reads my blog on a regular basis but i know that he doesn't.

Erin flies home late Wednesday night and has surgery at 9:40 am on Thursday, the nurse asked me this morning if I had any questions.....unfortunately I do not. This is Erin's 10th reconstructive surgery. I think I am an expert. We are hoping and praying that this will be it. If you read this before Thursday the 26th...please say a little prayer for my little Kooks. Oh and stay off the roads for a while....another Murphy driver will soon be on the loose.

I haven't felt much like being funny lately. Erin has to have more surgery for a problem that stemmed from surgeries that she had when she was little. She has had 10 reconstuctive surgeries on her scalp to correct a birth defect and her body has generatd extra bone growth on her skull as a result of the trauma.

She had surgery to correct this in 2008 and almost immediately the bone started to grow back. The surgeon thought it would be best to just keep an eye on it. Unfortunately for Erin the bone came through her scalp on the last day of her Christmas break.

She came in my room late Friday night crying and woke me up. I was thinking OK, my 20 year old daughter is waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me something tragic....Oh God, I'm going to be a grandma. To my delight...horror...fear....terror....depression that was not the case. I tossed and turned the rest of the night with mothers guilt. I sure wish I could trade places with her. She went back to school as planned and I told her I would contact her surgeon first thing Monday morning.

She is a tough kid and I admire her so so much. Her doctor was on vacation this week so we took pictures of the hole in her scalp and emailed them to her doctor. He seems to think it will be a simple procedure just like last time. I checked out flights and the cheapest flight round trip was 1,000. After a few calls to the right people,Southwest airlines donated her flight. Thank You Southwest!!!

I am trying to keep a sense of normalcy in the house even though my mind is on my little Kooks AKA Erin. I spent last Saturday in the fetal position, I gave myself one day to have a pity party and then I had to pull it together, there are a lot more Murphy's that need a mom who isn't in bed with the covers over her head.

Although I have warned Shannon before she goes out on the weekends, "God help you if I get a call from the police tonight and find you in a leopard print dress. I am not my normal cheery self....don't do anything stupid until AFTER your sister has surgery." Then go ahead and be an idiot teenager all you want.

Dave and I are taking Shannon to go look at Mo State for a campus tour in the morning. It is good timing actually because the jeep is having engine trouble so we can have the car worked on tomorrow while we are in Springfield. I'm so excited that we can use the money we saved on the plane ticket to fix the car. See how my glass is half full!!!

We still haven't repaired the damage from Shannon's little fender bender she had in December. Kelsey turns 16 in 9 days....maybe we should wait on repairing the front bumper for at least 6 months?

When I called my insurance company to report Shannon's accident I asked my agent to send me the Steer Clear packet for Kelsey to fill out so we can get the discount on our auto insurance. Kelsey went over the booklet and said "Mom, I need to find 12 different licensed drivers to ride along with me." I thought, "That can't be right. I feel like I need a blindfold and a stiff drink every time I ride with her how will I find 12 people dumb enough to get in a car with her?"
I read the section that she was referring to and it clearly stated; If you already have your license, log at least 12 trips with a licensed driver in the car with you. Not 12 different licensed drivers. Details!!


Lauren is doing great in New York, she seems to be having the time of her life. Now that she is a New Yorker she walks everywhere. She called me yesterday and told me that she tried on new clothes and the size 2's were falling off of her. Yeah well good for her....I never really liked her much anyway!!

My morning started a little crazy. Dave has decided to get up and go to mass every morning as his New Years Resolution. I am pretty sure it won't last past Jan. 11th but who am I to judge? This morning my alarm went off at 6:40 as usual. I hit dismiss on my phone instead of snooze. I woke up at 7:20 frantic, the whole house was still asleep....except for the little choir boy, he was at church praying for our lost souls.

Shannon and Kelsey already have detention this week due to the many tardies last quarter. Needless to say this was not a happy household this morning. Maggie has Dare graduation tonight and needed her Dare shirt to wear to school today. She left it on the couch. Shannon and Kelsey cleaned up the living room on Tuesday night, so no telling where that T shirt could be. If Kelsey put it away it could be in some crazy off the wall location like the freezer or microwave. She tends to just stick things anywhere and deal with finding them later. We never did find the shirt and their ride came. So much for being prepared. Shannon and Kelsey headed out and I was left with a quiet house. The bright spot was that I had absolutely no time to scream at anyone this morning.


I decided to log on to Maggie and Ryan's school website and check their grades. Not sure what made me do this but I wish I could rewind my day back to the time where I would think of my little darlings and my heart would melt.....After checking in our their second quarter grades I am thinking about tieing them up when I get home and leaving them that way until bed time. Maggie got an F in religion....yes I said an F. How in the hell do you flunk religion? I mean come on...your father attends mass every morning...OK he has went 4 times but still?? Ryan's last couple grades in science were less than stellar, he did manage to pull off a C-. Maybe I will tie Maggie up with rosaries...yeah that's a good idea.

Dave has a work meeting and can't make it to Maggie's Dare graduation. Always the supportive spouse I laid into him and explained that when our baby girl is living in a cardboard box under a bridge smoking crack that he may want to remember this day. Oh well I guess the family is big enough we can bring enough people to make up for dad missing.

They had to write essays at the completion of the program. She of course in Maggie fashion waited until the last minute to tell me it was due. I told her to write a rough draft and I would go over it for her. I looked at her paper and decided if I was going to get any sleep I should just take over. I wrote a beautiful essay. Imagine my surprise when Evan won in her class?? Come on Evan, we all know that my essay was fabulous!

I always try and find the bright side in my day. I guess the best part of the day is that Maggie will be easy to spot at graduation. She will be the one without a shirt....perfect training to support her crack habit for later in life. Maybe she should go ahead and stand next to a pole!

One of my New Years Resolutions was to update my blog more often. Already the 3rd of Jan, so much for resolutions. I guess it will be ok if I eat a row of Ryan's birthday cake later as well. If we are breaking resolutions here I may as well be an overachiever.

2011 like every other year had it's ups and downs. I received a promotion.....very good. I spent 4 days in the hospital...very bad. My van cost me $900 in repair bills....very bad. After spending $900 they couldn't fix it....even worse. I got a new car......very awesome. Shannon wrecked the jeep......very bad. Shannon was ok.....very good. My car insurance is going up....very bad. Some crazed pot smoking lunatics followed Lauren home and she had to call the police and out run them.....very bad. The police caught them and they went to jail...ha ha very good. I ran a half marathon....very good....it took me almost 3 hours...not good. I didn't pee or poop in my pants during the race....awesome. Erin went back to school in Alabama...very bad....very good...not really sure on that one? Sam's job is still going well...very good. Lauren moved to New York...very bad for me...fun for her. She has a blog 4000 times more exciting than mine.....fantabulous

Check out the adventure at www.Lifeofthelucys.blogspot.com

Here's to 2012. Bring it on!