Never leave your husband in charge

I left to go on an out of town soccer tournament with our 15 year old Erin. Dave was in charge of the other kids. something I don't do often. The other girls can pretty much take care of themselves but the males in my family are a little challenged when it comes to responsibility. Ryan's team was in a tournament in town. Some time last year Ryan lost his soccer bag. He can't remember where he left it because he is completely oblivious to the fact that it was even missing. Ryan shows up to most games in the wrong color uniform or the wrong color socks 9 times out of ten. Dave is his coach so it is kind of like the blind leading the blind. Since Ryan couldn't find his soccer bag he wore his red uniform to the game and just brought his blue jersey and set it on the bench in case he needed it. Of course after the game neither one of the men in my life thought to pick up the blue jersey. The next day the team was wearing blue. Lucky for Ryan two of his sisters play for the same soccer club. He wore his big sister Kelsey's. I made it back to town early Sunday and immediately noticed Ryan was wearing the wrong numbered jersey. Dave saw my frustration and said "sorry punkin, you know how we are, this is all we got left," as he held up a plastic grocery bag with his dirty red uniform inside. After the game I asked where the grocery bag aka soccer bag was. They looked around and realized that they lost that as well. After so many years of marriage I can't even get mad any more. I searched the lost in found several times. By the end of the evening the blue jersey finally showed up, the red one is still among the missing. Ryan had an out of town tournament this weekend and he brought a big hockey bag instead of the plastic grocery bag. I assumed it would be harder to lose. He had a game last night and realized he never got his bag out of his Dad's trunk. Once again we outfitted him with his sisters uniform. He wasn't happy because he had to wear Erin's and it was really big. In the process of him trying to tighten the drawstring on Erin's shorts, he pulled the string completely out. Ryan has about an 11 inch waist(mainly from a diet that only consists of crackers). Obviously those shorts wouldn't work even if we rolled them 34 times. I thought about duct taping them to his body. On that thought maybe I could duct tape his soccer bag to his body as well. Never mind, we no longer have a soccer bag. Scratch that idea. We came up with an alternate pair of red shorts, dried our tears and headed to the game. After the game we got home and got into the homework mode. I asked to see his assignment notebook. I saw that he had a religion test the next day. I told him to get out his book and study. Can you believe it?? He left his book at school. Great, now I get to wake up an hour early,to get everyone going just so we can get to school early so he can study. I'm sure by the time he walked into school he forgot why he was there so early.