It is almost 10:00 pm on New Years Eve. I have no kids home and I am sitting here writing on my blog. I sent my husband to Steak N Shake for my last hurrah before I start my diet tomorrow. How will I ever survive without cheese fries. Erin spent the earlier part of her evening trying to swindle Shannon out of her new jeans. Erin insists they make her butt look amazing and Shannon was going to a party with just girls so she could wear sweat pants. OK, if Erin thinks those jeans make her butt look "amazing" I would prefer she wear the sweatpants not Shannon. As a matter of fact she can wear my sweat pants!!

Kelsey gets to have a private one hour session with Lori Chalupny tomorrow. She is from St. Louis and plays on the United States women's National soccer team. We got her the training session as a Christmas gift. Kelsey is so nervous. She is a little star struck. She said she has been practicing in the mirror all day as to what she will say. I hope the weather holds up, she is supposed to meet her tomorrow at noon.

Maggie, Ryan, Kelsey, and Shannon are all spending the night at friends houses tonight. My house is so quiet. I feel like I am in the wrong house. Oh wait, never mind, I see dog pee stains on the carpet, I am in the right house. My New Years resolution is to not eat and to not kill Maggie's dog.

Sam cleaned up the great room and kitchen yesterday. She got a little upset with her baby brother during the process. She said there was a pile of clothes behind the chair next to the heat vent. He insisted they were not his. She said "come on Ryan, it is your jacket, your socks and your Rubik's cube." He reluctantly picked it all up. She said he put his jacket on, put his Rubik's cube in his pocket and threw his dirty socks on the floor right next to the laundry chute. Sam was not to thrilled with her brother at this point. When I got home she was still ranting and raving "who does that?" I am thinking that maybe she should change her major from accounting to child development. She is so patient with children I would hate to see that skill go to waste.

I am in the basement right now trying to get away from Shannon. She has been singing on the High School Musical Sing It game that I got her. It sounds as if there is a whole pen of squealing pigs in my living room. I know it is my job as a mother to encourage my children but I am afraid that this time I just can't. She has loved to sing from the time she was really little. Unfortunately for her(or the rest of us) she is extremely tone deaf.

I am taking the girls to go see PS I Love You tonight. I heard it was really good. The best part is I will be able to have 90 minutes without hearing Shannon sing.

One of the many perks of having so many girls is not just the lovely homemade Christmas ornaments but the many gifts my girls have given me to put on my dresser. My latest and greatest is the silver jewelery box complete with a little rust on top that I got from Maggie this Christmas. It is on my dresser in between the heart shaped plaster jewelery box from Erin and the lovely flower pot with a foam daisy that Shannon made. The aqua bank with a decoupage family picture and hot pink sequin trim is from Lauren. Erin also made the vase next to it and Lauren is the creator of the blue and green coil container. I wonder if Martha Stewart's dresser looks like mine?? I am hoping that one day their father will actually get me some jewelery to put in my jewelery box collection.

Kelsey has a game in the morning, Lauren has to work, Erin has to work and Sam has to work. This whole sharing of the cars is working almost as well as the girls sharing their clothes.

I go back to work tomorrow. It has been a nice few days off. Today was my last day to sleep in. Of course that didn't last long because no one in my home knows how to answer a phone other than me. My four oldest kids have cell phones so they see no need to answer the land line. Sam had to work this morning, her car that is almost as old as her, has seen it's last days. It no longer goes over 30 mph. I guess she figured the car fairy would come over night and wave a magic wand so she would have a ride to work in the morning. We have four other cars, so working out rides is actually pretty manageable. The only problem is that between our six drivers in the house, only two can drive the van. I am usually the lucky one that gets to drive the living room on wheels around town. Sam failed to mention to anyone that she was working today. Grandma dropped her off at work and her boyfriend is bringing her home. The nice thing about the whole situation is how pleasant she was this morning. It just warms my heart when my oldest child crabs all morning because she forgot to mention to anyone last night that she needed a ride to work. Dave could have taken the van to work and left his car home for her to drive. That would have been too easy, I guess we should learn to read her mind.

The picture above is of Dave playing around with Ryan. He had just put a new trash bag in and Ryan jumped in head first. I am posting the picture because my darling husband who still thinks that he looks 21 insists that his hairline is not receeding. He insists that it is just the way that I cut his hair. OK, I am really not 30 pounds overweight either, it is just the way the light shines on my clothes!

If you want to test your children to see if they know the real meaning of Christmas, I have the perfect test. Buy them a Wii with just two controllers. They got the Wii game system as a family present. They got several games, High School Musical Sing It, Dancing With The Stars, Hannah Montana,Guitar Hero, Mario Party, An Army Game, We Play and a Sports package that came with the system. I went to take a little nap around 10:00 AM. I was tired waiting for Santa AKA Star Gazer AKA Dave last night. Fifteen minutes after I laid down I was sprinting to the great room to break up a kickboxing match. Hey, I don't remember buying that game. I think Wii is a great way to bring out your family's dysfunction. Previously, I thought about buying two extra controllers but decided against it. I figured they would have to learn how to share. I sure wish stores were open today, I could either buy two more controllers or return the Wii and buy myself a day at the spa. Once we broke up a few squabbles they started relaxing a bit and realizing that they would all get a turn to play their game of choice. It is 9:15 pm and the game has been going non stop. I think Maggie is going to have some sore muscles tomorrow. She is the reigning Wii tennis champ.

Dave got me the book,Rick Springfield making of Working Class Dog album that I have been dropping hints for all month. I practically threw a brick at his head that said I wanted it. For once he paid attention. I think that maybe I might have a keeper on my hands. I made the mistake of showing Erin how to shop on eBay tonight. I think I may have created a monster. She was outbidding herself on things. I am afraid to check my account tomorrow. I think I will be changing my account password soon. When 12 pair of chestnut uggs size five show up at my door I am not going to be too happy. I guess she thought she needed to bid on a pair for each one of her personalities.

It is 12:30 AM on Christmas. I have just finished wrapping the last of my Christmas presents. Dave is outside on the deck playing with Ryan's new telescope that he got from grandma tonight. While I was downstairs wrapping presents the dog was upstairs barking because he wanted to be out on the deck with Dave. I came up and asked Dave if he was ready to carry our life savings upstairs and put it under the tree. He insisted we wait to make sure everyone is asleep. Maybe they are still up because our stupid dog won't shut up. Mr. stargazer just wants to play with the telescope. Does he not realize that our offspring will be at the foot of our bed in approximately 5 hours ready to open presents.

Is it normal to want to beat your husband so close to Christmas? We used to do all the shopping and wrapping together. When did that change and why?? Maggie and Ryan talked their father into letting them play with the pottery wheel Maggie got for Christmas last year. When I walked in the kitchen I saw Maggie in a new outfit with pottery sludge all down the front of her. Not to mention my table. Could we have maybe put some newspaper down or changed into some old clothes??

We have Dave's family Christmas party at our house tomorrow. It is always fun to get together with the whole family. The cousin's usually play a game of spoons that resembles something that you would see on Springer. The Murphy's are a bit competitive, they normally draw blood when they play. Last year I moved the couch in front of the TV and the adults went upstairs to let them fight it out.

I was going to fight the mall crowds today and pick something else up for Dave for Christmas. I decides since I am on the verge of killing him, that what I have already bought is sufficient. Besides, it is still fresh in my memory the year he got me two lawn chairs in a bag (to bring to soccer games) for Christmas. Why two???

Is it normal to want to beat your children so close to Christmas?? Why is it that my kids become so rambunctious in the days preceding Christmas?I called home today from work to check on the kids. Ryan and Erin answered at the same time, it didn't take long for me to figure out that Sybil was out in full force today. I said a little prayer for Ryan and the rest of my kids and quickly got off the phone. I decided to volunteer to stay late and let the other receptionist go home early today. The house was spotless when I got home, Sybil must have switched to her cleaning personality. It may have had something to do with the fact that she wanted to take her dad's car later. Kelsey informed me that Maggie is expecting gifts from me as well as Santa. She overheard me telling the older kids the dollar amount that I would be spending for Christmas. She assumed that meant in addition to what Santa was bringing. Won't she be surprised!!

When I got home from work I got all of my sugar cookie supplies together to make holiday cookies. My cookie sheets disappeared out of my kitchen. I headed to my home away from home (Target) to get some new ones. I got back and rolled out the cookies on my counter. The kids decorated the cookies. Ryan looks like I have kept him in a dark closet and withheld food and water in the picture above. I have actually considered doing this several times but to date have resisted those impulses. I have banned him from all sugar, he fell off the wagon today during our cookie making . He literally bounced from couch to couch, sometimes on his head after he ate three icing filled cookies. While I was cleaning up the cookie mess, I found my cookie sheets that had disappeared earlier.

I am seriously considering taking back the Guitar Hero that I bought Ryan for Christmas and getting him a remote control electric shock collar instead. I went to pick him up from basketball practice last night and for once I was a bit early. I went inside and was horrified with what I saw. He was goofing off with his friends and running around like he was on crack cocaine. I thought to myself "who is that darling little boy that looks exactly like my son?" I had "the look" all ready for him if he would just glance my way. It was then that I realized that a shock collar would be a perfect solution. When it was time for the boys to run at the end of practice he started out OK but quickly fizzled to a jog and then to a walk. When I questioned him on his lack of effort his response was, "it was too hard to run because my shoes were untied." Again , had I had the shock collar remote in hand, that statement alone would have warranted several jolts.

Kelsey came home from school today with her leg covered in mud. She slid into base during kickball and covered herself in mud. She was happy that she was successful at keeping her foot on the base during the whole fiasco. Another Murphy looks like a homeless kid at school but we were safe at third.

Erin went to the mall yesterday and found something to wear for Christmas. She was having the store hold it for her. She told me she wasn't sure if it was a shirt or a dress but it was really cute. OK, if you can't tell if it is a shirt or a dress I am assuming it is pretty short. Why don't we just call it a shirt because if it is a dress, I could wage a pretty safe bet that it is not appropriate to wear to mass. I am taking Ryan shopping to get Erin's present tomorrow (he drew her name) maybe we should get her some pants or a skirt!!

Grandma is in charge of the family laundry. She left for Atlanta on Thursday to visit my sister. She needs to hurry back home because I think I may have lost a couple of my children in the laundry pile. I could have sworn I had seven when she left, now I can only find five.

I took Maggie shopping to get her secret Santa present for her sibling. She was so cute picking it out. She already has it wrapped and ready to go. It is going to kill her to wait until Christmas Eve to give it to them. I am taking Ryan shopping Thursday after school. I ran into a friend tonight at the store, she told me that she figured it out for me, when Shannon is driving, Sam will still be under 25 and I will have to pay car insurance for 4 drivers under 25. That made my Christmas just a little brighter.

Erin took Shannon to basketball practice tonight and brought her home. This driving thing is not too shabby. Ryan went sleigh riding after school with a friend. He doesn't have any snow boots and the old hand me down pink ones were not an option. He told me he was having a hard time snow boarding because his shoes kept falling off because he forgot to tie them before he went out. Why is it that my son refuses to tie his shoes? These are the same shoes that he "forgets" to tie everyday at school. He came home one day with the N (they are New Balance shoes) taped on with clear packing tape. He claimed that the N just fell off at recess. I guess the N jumped off of his shoe around the same time the holes appeared in the knees of his new school pants. My goal in life is to teach Ryan to tie his shoes and brush his teeth without being constantly screamed at. So far I am 0 for 2.

Yesterday morning was soccer uniform turn in day up at school. Of course Ryan couldn't find his jersey. It was missing most of the season, lucky for him he had three others to fall back on and he could wear one of his sisters. Dave brought Shannon with him to go turn everything in. They have all the pieces numbered, it turns out the number that was sewn on the inside of Ryan's shorts was actually his friend Jack's assigned number. Hopefully Jack has Ryan's. The guy couldn't find Maggie in the computer, Dave told him she played on the kindergarten girls team. Finally the guy said wait a minute, Maggie Murphy played on Rogers team, that is actually a 1st grade team. Dave looked at Shannon and said, "Don't tell your mother." I am just happy he actually remembered her name much less her age.

I had to cancel my party last night. My best friend lives in the boonies and she was snowed in. The weather forecast was calling for more snow so I was afraid the roads were going to get worse. We are going to reschedule to a time where everyone can make it. Considering our monthly dinners turn into every 6 months I hope it doesn't take another year before we all get together.

Last week at church Ryan asked Dave to take off his wedding ring so he could see it. Ryan passed it down to me and I said "Now your not getting it back." Ryan's eyes lit up and he said "Yeah, two Christmas's." He stole that line from Taladega Nights. I knew I should have never let him watch that movie. This week at church I guess Maggie thought she would be like Ryan and she asked Dave if she could hold his wedding ring. She accidentally dropped it on the floor. It bounced and rolled few pews up. They could see it but would have to army crawl on the floor through three families to get to it. Ten minutes later the 3 year old in front of us was getting bored. He was laying on the floor while his parents were kneeling. We noticed his eyes light up as he spotted the gold shiny ring. He had no qualms about crawling on the floor to grab his treasure, he was showing his mom what he found when Dave finally decided to tap his dad on the shoulder and ask for his ring back. I am sure the guy was thinking, what idiot drops his ring in church. We all had a good laugh and decided we won't play with daddy's ring in church anymore.

Dave took the kids to the movies this afternoon so I could get all the Christmas presents wrapped. I had just finished wrapping my last present when Dave called to say they were on their way home. It is such a load off of my mind to have that all done. Next year I am going to the movies while he wraps. Never mind, Sam would probably end up with a barbie dream house and Ryan would get a water bra. If he struggles with what grade his kids are in he certainly won't know who gets what gift.

Erin/Sybil passed her driving test yesterday. She got an 85%, I guess she brought her "safe driver" personality with her. We were hit with a snow storm last night so she won't be able to drive by herself until all the snow is melted. I can't wait until Monday to call the insurance company to add our third driver under age 25.

We had our soccer Christmas party at our house last night for Shannon's team. When our friend John got to our house last night he said, "my goal is to make the blog tomorrow." Fortunately for me he didn't dance on tables or walk around with a lampshade on his head. I will give him a shout out anyway.

My friends from high school were supposed to come over tonight but I had to cancel because of the snow. I am hoping to get a jump start on wrapping presents tonight. I like to make sure the kids gifts are fairly even, that is hard to do until I drag everything out and wrap it. Dave is driving Lauren to work tonight and will most likely be driving Erin/Sybil somewhere on his way back. She would probably just die if she had to spend an evening snowed in with her family.

Well it looks like it is up to Shannon now to pass her driving test on the first try. Erin said her test went fine until the guy giving her the test had her drive past the parallel parking poles and into the parking lot. She said "don't I have to parallel park?" He responded "not today." She didn't realize that earlier in the test when she almost killed him , that it was an automatic fail. She pulled out in front of another car without looking and allmost crashed. He called it a "dangerous action." The roads are still safe for at least one more day!



Maggie had to stay after school today to practice for the Christmas choir. I went to pick up Erin and I sent Lauren to get Maggie. She was late to get her, one of the mom's had Maggie sit in her car and wait for Lauren. She pulled up next to Lauren's car and said "are you Maggie's sister?" Lauren said "yeah." She said "are you the one that is studying fashion?" Lauren said "yeah." She then told her "I was working playground duty today and your sister was freezing. She told me she wasn't supposed to wear socks with the kind of shoes that she had on because my sister said they looked bad with socks." Today was Rams spirit wear day. We don't have any Rams shirts so she just wore a blue shirt with her "skinny jeans" and little ballet style slipper shoes without socks. Lauren has her well trained to always be fashionable. She walked around with two little feet that felt like popsicles but she looked great. That is what really matters.

Lauren is home for Christmas break. She laid around all day and watched me clean. We are having a party at our house for Shannon's soccer team tomorrow. When I left to pick up Erin, Lauren decided it would be a good time to soak in my squeaky clean garden tub. She then proceeded to remove what appears to be a semesters worth of hair from her legs. Dave didn't think it was a big deal until he found out she used his razor.

My little angel/demon turns sixteen tomorrow. It is hard to believe she is that old. She had a crash course in parallel parking tonight. I was at the mall so unfortunately I missed that little lesson. She seems pretty confident. If she passes her test tomorrow she will be the first one of my kids to pass her driving test on the first try. Sam flunked twice and Lauren flunked once. Erin flunked her permit 4 times. We finally forced her to read the book. It was getting to the point where I wanted to show up at the DMV in a wig and sunglasses. Dave finally took her to take her permit for the fifth time and made her study before they went.

Dave went to the hockey game last night. He got the tickets through work. He called home to tell the kids to turn on the TV and look for him because he was in the first row behind the glass. They said "we are watching The Biggest Loser, we will see you in the morning, thanks anyway." I was out shopping, I would have changed the channel and looked for him if I had been home. I always have a problem watching people shaped like me on the treadmill when I am sitting on the couch just watching them. That show always inspires me for about 10 minutes.

I spent a few more hours walking the mall tonight looking for the perfect birthday gift. I picked up a couple of things and even got her a sentimental gift. I thought about going to Sam's dorm room and buying the sign I bought her for Christmas last year that she has hanging on her bulletin board. It says "caution mood swings ahead." I'm sure she would let me buy it back from her. I could probably even trade her a cheeseburger for it. Erin doesn't quite understand the concept of a dollar. I gave the kids each a dollar amount that I was spending this year for Christmas and Erin wanted me to assure her that the amount I gave her that I was spending was pre-tax. She didn't want tax to interfere with the amount of gifts that she received. I am so glad that she knows the true meaning of Christmas. After all no one liked the tax collectors in the bible. I think she is just trying to express herself biblically. It almost brings a tear to my eye.

Erin's permit has her height and weight listed as 5'1" and 95lbs. When she brought her permit home last year I said, "look Erin, we weigh the same. " My drivers license still says that I weigh 95lbs and I am not about to change it unless of course I ever get down to 90lbs. My height says 4'11" I finally hit 5'0" but I was afraid that if I changed my height they would ask if I wanted to change my weight. Erin is about 4'11", not 5'1",apparently I didn't set a very good example of not lying to the DMV. Sometimes it is OK to tell a little white lie. Whatever height and weight she lists when she passes her test will probably stay with her for the rest of her life. She might as well put 5'7" what the heck aim high!!

Not much explanation needed here. This is a lovely paper snowman featuring a soccer ball stomach supported by what else but an orange juice can lid. Every tree needs one of these.

I went shopping last night looking for something for Erin/Sybil's birthday. She turns 16 tomorrow. I think I went to every store in the mall. You would think I would be able to find something that one of her personalities would like. No such luck, it looks like I will be out shopping after work tonight.

I think I have myself to blame for this lovely ornament. For some reason I thought it would be a fun activity to cut up a toilet paper roll and paint it red and green to look like a poinsettia.I did this one with Ryan's picture as a sample and had a whole class make these at a school Christmas party when I was a room mother. I would like to make a formal apology on the Internet for the 25 kids who have toilet paper roll ornaments hanging on their trees.

I have my final tomorrow for my ethics class. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed studying for my very first college final exam at the ripe old age of 38 with my quiet, well behaved perfect kids right there next to me offering me encouraging words like "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty,can you help me with my Olympic wreath that is due tomorrow?, can you study my vocabulary words with me? Can you go buy disposable diapers for me to bring to school for the single mom shelter?, can you give me a ride to basketball practice?"I went to another room and started studying. A few minutes later, my conscience got the best of me and I was in the kitchen helping Kelsey make an Olympic wreath. She has been asking me to help her for over a week and I kept putting her off. I decided it wasn't very "ethical" for me to study for an ethics exam when my little princess is struggling trying to find a leaf stencil. Then I studied vocabulary words with Maggie and read her favorite bedtime story that I never seem to have time for. To me, I aced the Murphy ethics exam, and of course Dave will be sleeping on the silly putty couch for not being much help!!

Martha Stewart eat your heart out. I bet her fireplace hearth doesn't feature a slightly squished (from the backpack transport) construction paper advent candle. There are yellow, slightly flame shaped pieces Maggie cut out that she is supposed to tape on each week. We can't find the flames so we are just pretending, I told her it was OK as long as the fire burns in our hearts. That held her over for a while, I will be out tomorrow buying yellow construction paper.

I got an early Christmas present this weekend. Two bright and shiny new tires for my van AKA "The Money Pit." Dave hates to drive my van he says he needs a runway just to turn the blankety blank thing around. He drove it today to Kelsey's indoor soccer game. We had a lot of ice this weekend so my side mirrors were all iced up and you couldn't use them to see behind you. Dave circled the parking lot about 4 times passing several good parking spots. He was too afraid to back into a spot without the use of the mirrors. Finally he dropped us at the door and said "get out." Fifteen minutes later he came inside. That reminds me, I need to call the pharmacy and get his high blood pressure medicine refilled!!

On the way home from the soccer game today, we were passing the field by our house that is always full of deer. Everything is iced over so apparently Erin was concerned for the deer. She asked, "Mom what do the deer do in the winter, do they hibernate?" I said "yes honey deer hunters hang out in caves." No, really I told her the truth that Santa comes and brings Rudolph and they all fly to the North Pole. Maybe I should go wake her up and tell her the truth, remember what happened when I told Lauren St. Patrick only had one arm.

I have a site tracker on my website so I can see how many visitors I have each day and from what city and how they were referred. Either by typing in the address or by a Google search. It is funny for me to see how some people stumble upon my site accidentally. I had one person search, how to leave your husband? My post that said "never leave your husband in charge " directed her to my site. I have had searches that said "how to make a teapot costume" because I mentioned that I had to draw a teapot in art class. Anyway to make a long story short, Today I had a visitor that searched Google for a frozen orange juice can ornament. I mean seriously, send me your address and I will send you my juice can ornaments, I have several!!

This lovely little ornament was a new addition to the family tree last year. Kelsey made it at school. It is made of recycled Christmas cards that the kids in her class brought to school from years past. The nice thing about this "special" ornament is it's size. It is about the size of a playground dodge ball. There is absolutely no chance of this ornament getting lost on the tree.

This morning after I discovered the silly putty on my son's pants and my new couch I was feeling very festive and cheerful and couldn't wait to get up to school to work my shift at Breakfast with Santa!! Maggie could only find one shoe and of course after the silly putty discovery we were running a tad bit late. I wasted at least ten minutes grieving for my new couch. The dog ate Maggie's crocs and last years school shoes were too small. I had two choices, send her in flip flops or plead with St. Anthony to help me find the other shoe. I thought since I may have possibly used God's name in vain when I noticed the silly putty, we may have to dress for a beach bash instead of breakfast with Santa. Luckily St. Anthony came through for me and I found the other shoe in the back of grandma's car. We got to mass 10 minutes late, we settled in and I forgot all about my new couch. My sweet angelic son looked up at me and said "I think my pants might be on inside out." Sure enough the tags were on the outside. I told him to quietly go to the restroom and turn them around. He came back a few minutes later and as soon as he re-entered the church I noticed they were right side out but now they were on backwards. Is it not bad enough that we turned in a bobble head St. Anthony and Maggie wore a saint costume to school on the wrong day?

Maggie went to a birthday party today. It was at a ceramic store and guess what they got to do?? They made a Christmas ornament. Just what I wanted, another homemade ornament. They didn't get to bring them home because they still need to be fired. I didn't get to see hers but she told me that her ornament looked horrible. I told her that I was sure that it looked just fine. Then I showed her the glitter orange juice can ornament that her brother made!!!

In case anyone thinks it would be a good idea to give your kids silly putty as a St. Nicks gift I would like to tell you, Not so much!!! Lots of kids sleep with stuffed animals or a special blanket but no, not my son, he prefers to sleep with silly putty while wearing his brand new sweatpants. I might add that these pants are one of three pair that fit his skeletal little body that don't look as if he has been caught in a flash flood. I also have a lovely new silly putty couch to match his pants since he slept on the couch last night.

We just got back from breakfast with Santa, as I predicted we now have a few more beautifully hand crafted ornaments to hang from the tree to add to my collection. They played some games and received some fabulous prizes. What house would be complete without 12 paddle ball games. Lucky for us they have already broken 6 of them just on the 10 minute car ride home.

This little beauty is the end of a frozen orange juice can with a little glitter sprinkled on it. I think Ryan made this high quality ornament. Every tree needs one of these. I love it when my kids say they will only have a tree with pretty ornaments when they grow up. Little do they know that as soon as they move out, I am boxing up all their crappy frozen orange juice can lid ornaments and sending them with them. We are going to breakfast with Santa this morning. I hope we get to make more ornaments. I will be sure and post them if we do.

I chose Maggie's paper angel to display that she made in preschool. Maggie helped me get my Christmas cards ready to mail tonight. I couldn't find my stamps that I bought this week. I remember putting them somewhere "safe", Oh where the hell was that safe spot!! After numerous prayer to the headless St. Anthony he finally came through and I found them. Dave and I left to do a little Christmas shopping and Maggie and Kelsey were putting stamps and return address labels on for me. My niece Katie will be receiving her card with her stamp and return address label upside down. There were a few others that I was able to pull off and re stick but my nieces was stuck on there pretty good. I normally order 120 cards, I printed off 112 address labels so I knew I was cutting it pretty close because I am still missing a few addresses that I lost with my last computer virus. I was afraid I would have to order more. When I finished putting them in envelopes I noticed I still had almost a full box of cards. I thought, did all of the sheets of labels print or am I missing a sheet or two. Then it hit me!! I ordered my cards online, they come in sets of twenty and for some reason I was thinking they came in sets of 10 so I ordered 12 sets. No wonder I had to drop algebra!! So now I have 240 cards, I am going to try to spend the next couple of weeks making new friends. I don't want to let all those cards go to waste!! I would try to do some type of math problem to see how many new friends I should make per day in order to use up all the leftover cards but I would probably add wrong again. Simple multiplication threw me 20 x 6 = 120 not 240 a word problem is too much for this budding mathematician. I might even try something fun this year and open the phone book and send cards to random people. That would keep them guessing all year. "Who are these people?" Of course I would leave the return address label off. That might be easier than making new friends.

Kelsey brought home from school today this construction paper poinsettia. It is actually pretty cute and well made. I am not quite sure what to do with it yet but I know it was made with love!!!

Dave called me at work today and told me that Lauren called him out of the blue and asked him if he would take her to lunch. Dave was a little nervous because she has never called him and asked him to lunch before. He thought Oh God, I hope she is not pregnant, she then said, "why don't we call Sam and ask her to go too. He then thought, Oh God, is mom leaving me and you two want to take me to lunch to let me down gently? Now if my number one fan actually read my blog he would know that Sam was out of cash and Lauren was jumping on the gravy train because she smelled opportunity. Lauren explained, "No, Dad, I am definitely not pregnant, and I have no idea if mom is planning on leaving you or not, you will have to ask her." I just want a free meal.

Dave enjoyed his lunch with the girls, they had a lot of laughs. Sam said "I always thought I was the smart one but when I go online to check my bank account balance I have $12 and Lauren has thousands. Lauren has had a boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I am single. I am going around campus eating free stale cookies and Lauren goes to her boyfriends family's house for roast and potatoes." Dave had visions of his first born walking around the neighborhood pushing a shopping cart and digging through trashcans. He called me after he got back to the office and asked me to transfer some more money in her account. If she shows up with a new outfit from Urban Behavior I might have to kill her. I have a feeling I may get a beautiful homemade ornament from Sam for Christmas this year.

I chose this lovely glitter and paper laminated angel that Lauren made in kindergarten to showcase this evening. I still remember when she made this, we had to send in a recent picture, I had just had Shannon and I sent in this picture of Lauren holding her new baby sister. Sam made this same ornament the year before when she was in kindergarten. I am quite lucky to be blessed with not only one but two 12 by 12 laminated angel ornaments on my tree. Thank God that teacher retired the year Lauren was in kindergarten otherwise I would have had to put up a separate tree for my exquisite angel ornaments if the rest of the Murphy's made those too!! Lauren read my blog this morning and sent me a text message asking why dad should take Sam to lunch and not her. I guess you are never too big for the mom always liked you best game.

I went to Pets Mart on Sunday to get more solution for the carpet to get rid of the dog pee stains. Santa was there posing for pictures with pets. I thought to myself, are these people serious?? Do they think their dogs are going to request a special gift from Santa?? I was thinking of running home to get Ryan and Maggie. The line was much shorter at Pets Mart than at the mall. I will just tell them to crawl on all fours and bark, no one will notice. The dog pooped in his crate today while I was at school. He hasn't done that since he was a puppy. I let him out and put his crate out on the deck. I decided to save his little "present" for Dave. Merry Christmas honey.

I am featuring Sam's lovely yarn and glitter star today since I just got off the phone with her. She called to tell me that she was aware of all the money that she owed me and that she got a job and would be working towards paying me back. I'm glad she finally noticed that she has not paid her car insurance or loan payments in the last few months. Last time her checking account got low I transferred some money for her and she used it for an online shopping spree at Urban Behavior.

She has kind of hit rock bottom with her finances. Her meal plan at school is quickly running out of points. She is forced to do some desperate things for a meal. She said they were advertising on campus that if you went to make a homemade card for a kid in Children's Hospital you could make your own cupcake and cookie. I think she lined her purse with napkins and made enough cards to spread enough cheer to all the sick kids in St. Louis. Last weekend she borrowed Maggie's tooth fairy money to pay her share of the party bus her friend rented for her 21st birthday. I am thinking of rounding up the family and arranging an intervention!! I told her to call her dad this week and make a date for a lunch. Of course she has had plenty of money to pay her $80 dollar phone bill every month, a girl can't survive without text messaging.

This monstrosity is a mint green dough candy cane ornament featuring a red ribbon. I can't even remember which budding artist made this one but I am sure it was made with love!!

Yesterday it was freezing outside and it was raining. Kelsey had an outdoor soccer game, obviously I sent Dave while I stayed warm and cozy. 45 minutes after they left, I got a call from Dave asking me if I was sure that I had the right soccer park. I was out Christmas shopping so I had to call home and have Shannon look it up on the computer. Sure enough I screwed up again. The park I sent them to is about 40 minutes away, the park I should have sent them to is only 20 minutes away. I like to call these little mishaps as extra bonding time in the car with your daughter. It is not a true Murphy Saturday unless we throw in a wild goose chase. To top it off, I called her coach to let him know that she would be late. I got his number from a friend who's daughter plays on the team. She gave it to me when we were at a tournament in Illinois and Dave and I took two cars, Dave left in between games and went home with her soccer bag in his car. Saturday I learned I was calling a different Ron, not her coach, their names were below each other on the phone list and my friend gave me the wrong one. Just another prime example of what a bumbling idiot I can be.

Dave and I argued about what type of Christmas lights to put up this year. Last year we put white lights on the roof line and icicle lights on the triangle peaks. Dave didn't want to do icicle lights this year but I talked him into it. He has them all done except for one peak in front, he has to borrow our friends ladder for that one. Every time I turn on the light to the storage room I blow a fuse and they all go out. It was like a scene from the movie Christmas Vacation. I think I need to put masking tape on the light switch so I remember to leave it off until January. We came home tonight from shopping and 3/4ths of the icicle lights have blown up on top of the roof. Dave said it will be fine and not to worry, another storm might come from the opposite direction and then they will look fine!!

The picture to the left is the block of wood Santa ornament that Shannon made me a few years back. I know what everyone is thinking, where can I get one?? I'm sorry it is a Murphy original and it is not for sale. I thought I would try and feature several of my ornaments each day. Don't worry I have plenty!!

Maggie got in the car today and I turned around to back out of the driveway and noticed that her hair looked as if she combed it with an egg beater. (that was one of my mother's favorite expressions) I asked her what happened to her hair? She told me she was laying under the Christmas tree so she could sit on the heat vent. Ryan and Shannon were hogging the one in the kitchen and great room. It is not like her teacher doesn't already think I am completely incompetent, now I am sending her to school looking like she has dreadlocks.

I used to have my address book saved on my computer. Somehow it got erased. YIKES!!! I have spent the last three hours looking up addresses in various phone books, buzz books and parish directories. I normally send out 120 Christmas cards so if I miss anyone this year I am apologizing now. I may get them out by Easter.

My sister Maureen called me tonight. She lives in Atlanta, her son is in kindergarten. There was a note in his backpack that said they were going to cancel the Christmas ornament making craft day if they didn't get any parent volunteers. She asked me if I had many homemade ornament ideas. I glanced over my shoulder at my beautiful 12 foot tree with pretty twinkling lights and couldn't help but notice the dozens of tacky homemade ornaments (all towards the back) that my wonderful sweet children have made me. I have reindeer made of plastic spoons, Christmas light bulbs, pipe cleaners, clothes pins, popsicle sticks and of course my personal favorite, paper. I have a lovely block of wood with a Santa painted on it with a string on the end, a large three dimensional ball made out of recycled Christmas cards, silver flat orange juice can ends sprinkled with glitter with a wallet size photo, needles to say I am fresh out of ideas for homemade ornaments anyone could hang on the front of the tree. I told her I would examine my tree and if I came up with a good idea I would call her back. All kidding aside the picture above is of my favorite Christmas ornament. Erin/Sybil made this when she was little. This one is always proudly displayed right in front!!

Dave is up on the roof working on putting up our Christmas lights. I asked why he waited for it to get dark? He borrows our neighbors ladder every year and he wanted to wait until he got home to borrow it. I told him that I have their garage code but he didn't want to take it without asking. I'm sure the neighbors would rather watch him fall off the roof in the dark. Obviously they trust us if they gave us the code. Who am I to argue, I'm sure there is a method to his madness.

A kid in my design class asked me where I hide all of my kids Christmas presents? I told her I stick them all in the dishwasher, they will never think to look in there. Yesterday, before I took Dave to Urgent Care, I loaded the dishwasher, put the soap in and asked Erin to start it in a half hour. She had used all of the hot water taking a 45 minute shower. (could she have been that dirty?) I went to unload it after school today and the soap was still in it. I knew I should have went ahead and ran it with cold water.

Tuesday when we were working on the St. Anthony report I was reading out loud to Ryan about St. Anthony's life. (Erin was sitting at the table with us). I sometimes interject my own spin on things when I am reading out loud to bring a point home and to make sure my kids are paying attention. Anyway, I read,"St. Anthony spread the good news and preached in Italy as well as in France and he never, ever drank vodka on Halloween." Erin said "funny mom, that was stupid." Ryan wanted to put that on his report as one of the five facts about St Anthony. (at least he was listening)

Someone made a comment about Aids tonight at dinner. Shannon said "is that the disease where you wash your hands all the time and keep things really neat?" OCD, Aids, I can see where she could confuse them, they are practically the same thing. Shannon, what are you thinking, I think the twenty two teaspoons of liquid Advil you took this week are starting to affect your brain. Aside from the fact that they each have three letters there are no other similarities.

Kelsey was home sick today, I think it would be easier to just call the school secretary in the morning and let her know which one of my kids would be at school instead of which ones would be absent.

This morning as we were walking out the door I said to Shannon "watch, Ryan will get in the car without St. Anthony." Sure enough Ryan made no move towards the kitchen to get him. I said "Ry, did you forget something."He smiled and got his soda bottle Saint off the counter. Dave is on vacation this week so I took his car today. Kelsey pushed Ryan as they were getting in the car. Most likely because she wanted to get first choice of seats. When she pushed him, St. Anthony's head fell off and rolled down the driveway. I had two choices, I could quickly change his report to John the Baptist and have him turn in the headless saint or I could chase after Anthony's head and run to the basement and find the hot glue gun. I decided to glue his head back on.

When Lauren was in second grade we had to make banners to put on the pews for First Communion. I painted a shamrock to symbolize the Holy Trinity and painted St. Patrick to symbolize our Irish heritage. I couldn't draw hands real well so I drew one holding a staff and put the other arm behind his back. Lauren saw it and said"where is his other arm?" I said "honey, St. Patrick only had one arm." I assumed she knew I was kidding. When she was in eighth grade, they were talking about St. Patrick, her teacher asked "does anyone know anything about St. Patrick?" I can just picture how fast her arm probably shot up with a pick me, pick me look on her face. Her teacher called on her and she said, "didn't St. Patrick only have one arm?" Her teacher said, umm no, I don't think so. She came home from school and said, "didn't you tell me St. Patrick only had one arm?" I said ,"I have no idea what you are talking about." She reminded me of the banner I made six years before that day and we all had a good laugh. That is how rumors get started, Sorry Patrick!!!

Erin and Shannon were both back at school today, they are feeling much better. Erin said she wished someone would have told her Monday night that Shannon was sick. Erin went straight to bed Monday after school, Shannon didn't start feeling bad until later that evening. Erin said she kept kicking Shannon as hard as she could all night (they share a bed) , she didn't like the way she was breathing. Had she known she was running a fever she may have been a little more sympathetic. Shannon still can't swallow pills. She takes 4 teaspoons of liquid advil. Now that she is 14 she no longer has dosage instructions on the package. We just have to wing it.

I had to take Dave to urgent care tonight. He got a big splinter in his finger yesterday and it was too deep to dig out. The nurse tried to talk him into a tetanus shot but he would have no part of that. The doctor numbed his finger and dug out the splinter. I actually enjoyed watching my tough guy husband crumble at the sight of that little needle. I reminded him that the epidural needle that I have encountered many times was much worse and that he would be just fine. The splinter was actually pretty big, they prescribed an antibiotic and wrapped up his finger. The doctor made him get a tetanus shot despite his protests and we were on our way. Of course he doesn't think he will be able to put up Christmas lights now in his weakened condition. St. Anthony was beheaded this morning in a fight over the front seat, all he had was a little splinter, I'm sure he will be just fine.

Erin and Shannon stayed home sick today. I left a check on the counter for the sprinkler guy and told Shannon to tell grandma where the check was so she could pay him.

On the way home from school Ryan said, "remember the Saint project I told you about a long time ago, well it is due tomorrow." This Saint project is a report along with a Saint made out of a soda bottle. Lucky for us my family is addicted to Pepsi so finding a two liter bottle is a piece of cake. Whipping up the rest required a little more effort. Ryan chose St. Anthony, his middle name is Daniel but someone else was already doing theirs on St. Daniel. He said he chose St. Anthony because he is the patron Saint of lost things. He wanted to glue soccer shoes on the bottom of the Pepsi bottle because St. Anthony finds his soccer spikes for him every weekend along with his shin guards, jersey and everything else that my little angel may need. We passed on the soccer shoes. Normally I would sew a costume for a project but this time I cut a hole in the fabric to fit over the soda bottle and stapled the rest. Did St Anthony have arms?? I'm thinking not!!

I asked Kelsey to load and unload the dishwasher and I asked Ryan to carry the trashcans back to the garage while I was gone buying the supplies for St. Anthony. I now believe in miracles, the trashcans were in the garage. I only got one Christmas miracle today, the dishes were still piled high in the sink. Ryan had burnt popcorn so the house smelled like burnt popcorn with a hint of febreeze. Erin sprayed the kitchen to try and get rid of the smell. She even opened the microwave and sprayed febreeze in there. I'm sure every one of her siblings will think of her with warm thoughts next time they eat a piping hot bowl of "mountain fresh" spaghettios.

I cleaned the kitchen after I finished St. Anthony. While I was unloading the dishwasher that Kelsey finally loaded and ran I noticed I had a clog. There was about a half pound of spaghetti clogging up the bottom of the dishwasher. Kelsey said "grandma said I don't have to wash all the food off, the dishwasher will do that." I reminded her that she also told Ryan to brush his teeth with water. I don't think grandma meant that it was ok to take a half pot of spaghetti and just turn it upside down and run the dishwasher. My kids still haven't even mastered which side of the sink they put their cereal bowls in. (the side with the disposal.) On a good note, I finally finished my Christmas card, I pick them up tomorrow.

My mom gave me the bill for the sprinkler guy. Shannon gave her the message about the check after the guy left. She saw the check on the counter and thought I left it for her for the barbie she picked up for Maggie for Christmas. The memo said sprinkler,(maybe she thought it was sprinkler barbie) She made it out to herself for $13. She is all finished with her Christmas shopping but she can't stay out of the stores. She keeps picking up bargains and asks if I want to buy them from her. That happens when you have all of your gifts wrapped by Nov. 15. Maybe she can pick up her gift for herself from me this year!!

I have been working on my Christmas card all evening. I always try to do something creative. Now that I am an art student,I feel that my creative juices are about as dry as my turkey was. I am considering renting out a family to borrow to pose for our Christmas card. I have received two Christmas cards in the mail so far. I usually have mine addressed,stamped and ready to go by now. I am slipping in my old age.

Maggie had a end of year team party for her soccer team at Pizza Street. I don't think there is a place that I dislike more than pizza street. (well maybe the place that serves dinner on tin pie plates) Dave and I both went, Maggie was an only child for the evening. We were in and out in an hour an ten minutes. New personal best!!!

Dave has promised to get our Christmas lights up by the weekend. This is the one time a year I refrain from nagging about his procrastinating. We have a pretty steep roof, I can't watch when he is out there. I make sure one of the kids keeps an eye on him in case he falls, someone will be able to call 911. He turns into Chevy Chase every Christmas trying to outdo the neighbors. We bought two of the lighted reindeer last night. Dave wanted to buy two big deer and seven baby deer. I said "don't you think that is a bit over the top?" He responded, "having seven kids isn't over the top?" Point well taken. Maybe if we didn't have seven kids we could afford to buy seven lighted reindeer.

I have had to fight off several people just to get a turn at the computer. Our wireless Internet is out so my college kids have to use my computer. By the end of Thanksgiving break I decided to throw in the towel and not ask for a turn. The sighs along with the eye rolls were starting to become more than I could handle.

I actually have a little jump start to my Christmas shopping this year. Maggie wants a digital camera that she saw in the Toys R Us ad. I think it is around $35. It is made for kids. I went to Toys R Us on Friday. The store was a zoo, I asked a sales girl if she knew where the digital camera's that were in the ad were located. She said "no, they are probably somewhere." I said "Does anyone in the store know where they are?" She said "probably, I am just really tired and walked away." I thought to my self hmm, she is really tired, I just cooked a meal for 10 people , cleaned up the mess, put up my Christmas tree and decorations, got up early and went to work while my whole family slept. I am stopping by Toys R Us before I go home for more chaos and your tired, I'll show you tired. I never did find the digital camera. I decided shopping the day after Thanksgiving is not for me. I am just too tired!!!

I had to redo my self portrait. Apparently my teacher didn't feel it was three dimensional enough. Well, I didn't actually redo it but I did spend a few more hours on it. I am getting kind of sick of looking at myself!! I will be just fine if I don't see another piece of compressed charcoal for a while.

I had to work this morning while the rest of my family slept in. When I left, I reminded Dave that he needed to make sure he woke Kelsey up for her indoor soccer game. I told him I was pretty sure she played at 10:30 but to have her check her team website. Dave called me at work around 9:00 asking me to look it up for him from work. I told him that I was too busy and that I thought he could handle it. Her coaches split their team up into three teams for the tournament. Red, White and blue. I told him I wasn't sure but I thought Kelsey was on the white team. Dave called 10 minutes later frantic that he couldn't figure out the website. I looked it up real quick and told him the white team played at 9:30. Kelsey wasn't even dressed yet. Dave dropped her off at the door and told her to sprint to the field. Poor Kelsey soon found out that she was on the blue team not the white team. She didn't play until 10:30. She was actually an hour early. I think that was a Murphy first!!! Work was actually pretty slow today, I am a receptionist for a dermatologist. I guess most of the patients were out shopping instead of calling to schedule doctor appointments. My co worker kept a tally of how many times my husband and children called today. When I left at noon the tally was up to eight. I am so lucky, I feel so loved!!

I knew I had a little problem as I started to prepare my Thanksgiving turkey.I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the last eight years. With the exception of the year that I cooked the Turkey upside down I have never had any problems. When I was basting the Turkey with vegetable oil I noticed that there was not a little popper thing that tells you when the turkey is done. I found an old meat thermometer, probably a wedding gift that I have never used but for some reason held on to all these years. When I took the turkey out of the oven it looked perfect. The directions stated that the turkey was done when you slice it and the juices run clear. When I sliced my turkey, there were no juices. I thought oh crap this is like a scene from Christmas Vacation. Hopefully there will be enough side dishes to keep everyone happy. Maggie had a little meltdown right before we ate. We left our old dining room set when we sold our old house. Our kitchen table seats eight. Maggie and Ryan had to sit at the counter on bar stools. Maggie was upset because she said that she will never get to sit at the big table because her sisters were all going to get married and their husbands will probably get her seat. Erin reminded us of the year that she had to give up her seat because Lauren's boyfriend brought a friend because his roommate from his hockey team didn't make it home to New Jersey so he came to our house with Mike. Ryan ate macaroni and a roll. He was a little upset that the macaroni was no longer piping hot when he was served. I had to throw it in the microwave. A few minutes later I heard "mom, my macaroni is too hot, will you blow on it?" He is lucky I have a good sense of humor. The turkey was actually OK but next year I will make sure I buy one with a built in thermometer!!

Lauren came home from college for Thanksgiving break. She got in my bed after I left for work. She was soon aggravated with the noises the dog that she begged me to get was making. She said it took her ten minutes to figure out how to get the bungee cords off his crate to let him out. Once she finally freed the beast she let him outside. She said he walked out on the deck and lifted his leg and promptly peed on our umbrella from our patio set. The umbrella was on the patio because one of my little darlings broke it. Someone decided to keep turning the handle over and over until it broke. So I guess it doesn't really matter that my hundred dollar umbrella got peed on since someone already broke it.

I got all of my pies finished fairly early. I cranked up the stereo to my new Rick Springfield Christmas CD. That is a great way to get the kids out of my hair. It is kind of nice to not be on any strict time frames for tomorrow. I always have to cook on Thanksgiving, having a family of nine, eleven including grandma and Mike, Lauren's boyfriend, is a sure fire way to not get invited anywhere for Thanksgiving dinner.

The flu has hit the Murphy house. Just in time for Thanksgiving. Erin stayed home from school today. Kelsey is sick again and Maggie said she feels like she is going to throw up. Shannon wants to have 6-8 girls spend the night on Saturday. I told her we weren't having birthday parties this year. I guess she figured if she re-phrased it, it was not a party. I buy pizza and snacks, they bring gifts but it is not a party.

I have to work tomorrow so we will have to make the pies when I get off work. I can't wait until Thanksgiving. The thought of waking up whenever I want to is absolute heaven to me. Of course I will most likely wake up to someone throwing up at the foot of my bed or someone fighting over what television show to watch. I want to try and get all of our Christmas decorations up on Thursday.

Ryan got a note sent home from school that his lunch card balance is negative. He keeps packing his lunch and leaving it on the couch for the dog to eat every day. Our dog is so clever that he just punctures the Capri Sun's and helps add more character and charm to our already charming carpet in the great room. Ryan said they won't let him get ice cream at school until he gets more money on his lunch card. I am thinking of investing in a good staple gun so I can staple his homework, back back, belt, shoes, lunch and library books to him every morning before he leaves for school.

Okay so my sister Kathy called me today, the same one that said "why are you going to art school? Maureen is the one who was good at art." Maureen is our other sister, she sent me a birthday card this year with a hundred dollar check and a note that said, "sorry I was so mean to you when we were kids and told you that you were a bad artist, use this money to buy art supplies, I'm proud of you for going back to school." Anyway Kathy called to tell me that my self portrait was good but it looked like I shaved about 30 pounds in my portrait. 30 pounds, who does she think she is, let me get this straight, Sybil said my underwear were huge and my MUCH older sister basically said I was a cow. She lives in Chicago, she told me that she wasn't coming home for Thanksgiving this year. She has been doing really well dieting and exercising so she doesn't want to blow it by coming home, she said she doesn't trust herself to not hit a few drive thru's on the six hour drive home. I think that maybe for Christmas I might draw a portrait of her. I have always felt that she bears a striking resemblance to Violet on Willy Wonka. (after she chews the gum of course)

Lauren called me at work to see if we were making pies on Wednesday. It has been a long standing tradition for me to make pies with my girls the day before Thanksgiving. It has also been a long standing tradition for me to get ditched by my girls to go to the movies or the mall with their friends the day before Thanksgiving instead of making pies. Last year I bought the pies. I told Lauren that we could make them if she actually showed up. She sent Mike a text message to see what kind of pie that he liked. He replied "chocolate, hold the spit."

I finished my self portrait for my art class. I will let my kids fight over who wants me to hang it in their room when I get it back from the art show at school. I'm thinking they will let Maggie have it without a fight. Kelsey would die if I actually gave it to her since they share a room. Besides I think I have the perfect place for it. Smack dab in the middle of my liquor cabinet. That may help deter Erin and her friends from filling up the bottles with water and ice tea if I am staring at them the whole time.

Several of my neighbors took advantage of the good weather and put their Christmas lights up this weekend. I guess it made my husband feel guilty for not keeping up with the Joneses. He decided to actually take down the Halloween skeleton hanging on the front porch. I guess if this pattern continues it puts us on schedule to take down our Christmas lights in honor of Valentines day or maybe even St Patricks Day.

Shannon turns fourteen tomorrow, I can't believe how big my girls are all getting. She told us last night that she had an 8:00 am game at Soccer Park.(40 minutes away). She woke up at 8:20 and we realized that we had overslept. I decided to wait a little while before I called to apologize to the coach. I didn't want to call him on his cell while he was coaching and I didn't want to wake his wife up at home. I called around 10:00 to apologize. The coaches wife laughed and explained to me that the game was at 8:00 pm not am. Thank God we didn't drive all the way out there this morning. Shannon may not be alive to see her fourteenth birthday if we had.

Ryan has a bad habit of being kind of mean to his baby sister. On the way to school on Friday he was acting a little bit like a jerk. I warned him to knock it off. She absolutely idolizes her big brother, I can't even remember what it was that he did in the car but I remember yelling at him and telling him that next time he acts like that, I was going to smack him and let him wonder why I hit him, he could just sit there and try to figure out what he did wrong. On a side note, I am not a violent mom and he could probably count on one hand how many spankings that he has received in his lifetime. After I passed down my motherly words of wisdom , I laughed to myself and thought that maybe that little tidbit of advice most likely would not be found in any parenting books. Chapter One.... Hit your kids, don't tell them why,... See if they can figure out what they did wrong. Sounds like a future best seller to me!!

Last night Maggie had an indoor soccer game. We have quite a few friends with girls the same age so it is always allot of fun to hang out at the games on Friday nights. Erin/Sybil's Friday night plans fell through so at the last minute she decided to go with us. We were all standing around talking waiting for the game before us to finish up when I noticed Erin's headband. I said"Erin , is that headband made of underwear?? It looked like one of those stretchy elastic headbands that girls who play sports wear to keep the fly away's pulled back. When I looked closely at it I could read the words "Victoria secret." She said, yeah they are underwear, I needed a headband so I just cut off the waistband to make one." I asked "they weren't my underwear were they?" She responded, "I don't know, I found them in my drawer, they were huge, I couldn't wear them." First of all, I may have packed on quite a few pounds in my old age but my butt is still pretty small (well, compared to my stomach anyway), huge is not exactly the adjective that I would use. Did Sybil forget that maybe she could be the cause of me no longer wearing a size extra small. After all I was pregnant with her for almost 10 months. I weighed 104 lbs dripping wet before she came along. Maybe she should cut up my underwear from Target next time and maybe she could even be a little less harsh with criticizing my underwear size in front of my friends at the next soccer game.

The tooth fairy arrived on time and all was right with the world. I packed lunches and outsmarted my dog this morning. I had Dave climb up in the rafters of the garage and get down his container of bungee cords. I felt like Bill Murray in Caddy Shack. I used three bungee's to stretch across the door. I found myself talking to the dog this morning with an evil "try to get out now," voice. By noon I had visions of my cute little black dog dead in his crate due to choking on plastic trying to eat his way out. When I pulled in the driveway after picking the kids up, I asked Shannon to get the dog out of his crate and to let him out. I had to go pick up Erin. Besides, I didn't want to be the one to find a dead dog, Maggie is already a shoo in for therapy, I might as well try for a two for one deal.

The dog survived but it took both Shannon and Kelsey to get him out of his crate, the bungee cords were a little much for Shannon to handle all by herself. (It seems I outsmarted Seamus and Shannon)

The picture above is my first official portrait. My family very eloquently pointed out that the drawing looks absolutely nothing like Maggie. Always count on the ones you love to be brutally honest. Regardless of what they think, I was pretty happy with it. Considering that I struggled with drawing boxes my first week of class. I think my teacher's nickname should be The Miracle Worker. We started our self portrait in class. I will post the finished product. (as long as it actually resembles me of course.)

Lauren called me at work today to see what I was doing tonight. She hasn't talked to me since she yelled at me for being to strict with Erin. She is going on a trip to Kansas City with one of her fashion classes and she volunteered to bring homemade chocolate chip cookies. Considering her dorm room does not come equipped with an easy bake oven, she had a little problem. I told her that I actually had all the ingredients in the house so I would do it. She said,"good, can you also put them in a container that I can throw away and can dad drop them off at my dorm in the morning?" Maybe I could go ahead and chew them up for her.

Grandma had to pick Maggie up early from school today because she is sick. When I pulled down the street after work I saw my son roller blading and jumping over stacked plastic cups(without a helmet,) my sick child was playing outside barefoot and without a coat and my dog was chasing a couple down the street walking their dogs. I thought "should I turn left instead of pulling in the driveway and pretend like I don't know the hoosier family with the unruly dog or should I own up to my dysfunction and save these nice people from my annoying dog. I decided to own up to my dysfunction, I apologized to them and they said "oh, he is fine I just didn't want him to get hit when I saw you coming down the street." I said trust me, it would be no tragedy. (just kidding Maggie)

I was planning on having leftovers tonight but Erin/Sybil threw a fit that I wasn't cooking. I made a few boxes of Velveeta shells and cheese and whola, Sybil was happy!! I started to make the cookies after dinner. When I opened my canister of Crisco it was bad. I called Dave since he was out and asked him to pick some up for me. I am still waiting for the Crisco at 9:30. He decided to go by Target and buy a book. When my husband goes into a store and enters the magazine or book aisle he might as well pack an overnight bag. He is lucky that I absolutely love to stay up past midnight baking something that other people get to eat!!

Good God, Maggie lost another tooth tonight. There goes my lunch money. Lets see if the tooth fairy shows up tonight!!!

This is what I came home to today. My lovely dog Seamus once again broke free from his crate. He now has the whole right side of his crate chewed off about an inch wide. He used to have a fetish with eyeglasses, he ate a pair of Kelsey's and Ryan's and he got a few pair of grandma's reading glasses. Maggie had a play date with a friend who wore glasses last year, we had to send her home with her glasses in several pieces tucked inside an envelope. That was an expensive play date. His new fetish is Bare Essentials make up. He has now gotten a hold of three jars of them. I guess he likes the shape. Today he somehow climbed up on top of my vanity in the bathroom to get it. You can see the brush pictured above. The actual jar of makeup he chewed up in the great room so the carpet stain could be seen by everyone instead of hidden away in my bathroom. In the process of snatching my make up he knocked down my hair straightener and my tooth brush holder.

This morning I asked the same question that I always do to Ryan, "did you brush your teeth? He said yeah!! Shannon said "he didn't use toothpaste though." Ryan said "grandma said I didn't need to, toothpaste just gives you fresh breath, it is okay to use just water." I said "do I need to remind you that your grandma puts half of her teeth in a jar every night before she goes to bed?" Erin stuck up for grandma and told Ryan he was full of it. I told him to march upstairs and brush his teeth WITH toothpaste or he will be going to his senior prom with Maggie. I went to Target tonight to buy myself a new toothbrush and Ryan some toothpaste. Maggie fell asleep at 6:30 tonight, if I don't wake up early enough to give her a bath in the morning she might get a reputation as the smelly kid at school, she might as well keep up the family tradition!!!

Dave made it home early tonight. He was a little disappointed when he saw that there were only three cookies left in the package that we bought yesterday. He asked the kids what happened to all of the cookies that he bought , Maggie said"Oh those, as she took another one, those are amazing." I always buy the cheap sandwich creams in the multi pack with vanilla or chocolate. When dad goes grocery shopping, we get Keebler caramel fudge cookies. He could always make himself a waffle, we have 74 of those left.

Erin and her friends got in a little bit of trouble a couple of weeks ago because they got caught drinking. Oh how much fun it is to be a parent of a teenager. I felt like I handled the situation as best as I could. Erin is my third teenager so I am becoming an old pro at this kind of stuff. Lauren found out about it and called me from college last week to yell at me because she felt I didn't yell at Erin enough. She said that if it would have been her I would have yelled allot more. This week she called me and told me that I was being too hard on Erin and that I was going to ruin her high school years by being too strict with her. Could it be that I actually have two children with multiple personalities??

Lauren got a job at an upscale mall at the Coach store for the Christmas season. As soon as Erin got wind of this, she started devising a plan to fix the secret Santa name exchange. I guess she thinks Lauren will be able to get a $600 handbag with her discount for $25. I hope Maggie draws Erin's name, she just might end up with a barbie. I sure hope no one buys her a flask.

In case anyone is wondering what $397.00 looks like, take a gander into my freezer. The second shelf holds over 80 waffles. That should be enough to get us through until the weekend. Dave and I had an expensive date night tonight at Dierbergs. We really need to stop meeting like that. By Wednesday I am sure I will hear someone complaining that we have nothing to eat.

Kelsey came home from the soccer game last night with her dad and threw up her scrumptious dinner that she had served on the aluminum pie plate. I guess the rest of us have cast iron stomachs. Maybe I will take Mike and Lauren there to eat the next time he calls my house a circus!!! I have a paper to write for my art class. I have to fight Erin/Sybil for the computer every night. Maybe I should just have her write the paper, that sounds like a win win situation for everyone.

Yesterday was the mother daughter banquet for Erin's high school. It is always allot of fun. Erin sat with her friends and basically ignored her mother all night. (pretty much the same as last year)We had a nice conversation in the car on the way there and then again on the way home. I guess I need to strap her in a seat belt to have a conversation with her. I could always send her a text message.

We had quite a few soccer games today. Dave met up with me at our last game. We decided to grab a quick dinner before heading home. Ryan had to be home by 6:30 to go to one of his buddies big sister's birthday party. We decided to go to Steak and Shake. I missed the exit so we went for plan B. I decided to try a new place. Bad Idea!!! When we walked in it looked like a taxidermy studio. There was a wild cat stuffed on the mantle, several deer heads and countless birds mounted to the walls. When our food came it was served on metal pie plates instead of glass dishes. I was beginning to have flash backs to fourth grade girl scout camp. I looked at Dave and said "what the heck kind of plate is this??" Dave said, "I'm still stuck on the fact that I am drinking a soda out of a pickle jar, let alone the tin dishes. The food tasted about as bad as it was presented. I left early to run by the mall to get a gift card for Ryan to bring to the party. Dave called me when I was on my way home to thank me for picking such a lousy place to eat. He is the type of guy who is happy with eating a plain ham sandwich for dinner so you know it had to be bad.

Dave is at a soccer game tonight with Erin and Kelsey. Shannon is at a party that one of the eighth grade boys is having. The boys presented each one of the cheerleaders at their soccer game a yellow carnation. I wasn't there but I wish I could have seen it. I'm sure the girls loved it and the boys were probably dying. Shannon has another early game in the morning. I think dad will probably be bringing her to that one.

Dave and I just got back from "date night." Normally we go to Walgreens or the grocery store but tonight we actually went to dinner. Our waiter came by and asked if we were done with our appetizer, I told him yes but could we get a to go box because we were bringing our scraps home to the kids. He probably thinks our kids were at home chained to a pole in the basement. (no that is where I keep the dog)

When I dropped the kids off at school this morning, Kelsey mentioned that she felt like she was going to throw up as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. I told her that valuable piece of information would have been helpful before we left for school. The school nurse called around 9:00 AM to see if we could bring up some Advil for Kelsey because she had a headache. Grandma got the call and couldn't remember if she could swallow tablets or if she still used liquid. Kelsey can swallow pills but her big sister Shannon has to take 6 teaspoons of liquid pain reliever every time she has a headache. Grandma called me on my cell phone to tell me school had called the house. I asked her to bring her home instead of bringing her Advil. I called her doctor and made an appointment to bring her in. She hasn't looked good all week. Grandma said that was fine but she had to run by the dollar store on her way back home. I asked her why she had to go to the dollar store? She said"I am out of wrapping paper and boxes for Christmas gifts." I said "are you serious, do you really have to do that today?" She already has about 30 gifts wrapped. She laughed and said she still had so much to do before Christmas. I don't know why I am surprised, she was packed by April for our August vacation. When I got home I asked Kelsey if she went to the dollar store and she told me "grandma did, I waited in the car because my head hurt." I think grandma may have a touch of OCD, had she not been able to wrap those gifts today she probably would have laid awake all night thinking about it. I must take after my father, I could sleep on the kitchen table if I was tired enough without a worry in my head.

Of course the doctor said what Kelsey had was viral, nothing we can do but wait. Had I not brought her in, it would have been malaria. Dave's phone rang while we were at dinner, it was Lauren, she wanted to know why we didn't invite her and Mike and what color my hair was and who did it and how much I paid for it. She read my blog. She said she saw an ad in the paper today about a circus and asked her boyfriend if he had ever been to the circus. His response was "your house is a circus." I've been there lots of times. I just may spit in his mashed potatoes this Thanksgiving, I'll show him a circus!!! (Just kidding Michael.)

We had to get our pictures taken for our self portraits we will be drawing in my drawing class. They printed them off in the computer lab and gave them to us. My thought was "do I really have to draw this wrinkly old woman looking at me?" When did that happen??? I wonder if my teacher would notice if I switched it with an old picture from high school?? I had a chance to do botox at my work at a discount. It would have cost me $90 to get rid of my frown line between my eyebrows. I decided to pass because I could buy Ryan lots of crackers with $90 . After seeing my face with wrinkles blown up on paper I am thinking I should have went for the frozen non moving face instead!!!! I'll let you know how the self portrait goes, I may try to draw Heather Locklear instead.